True Stuff that I Made Up

PLEASE NOTE: The entries which are published at this site are solely my personal and sometimes whimsical musings. For information regarding my political positions and proposals, please visit www.LarryKump.us.

Further, this website is devoutly dedicated to all of my friends and associates, both early and late, who have mentored and influenced me. However, being who they are, the majority of them have been late most of the time.

  Also, check out my personal entry at Mormon.org.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

And a Little Child Shall Lead Them

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "

Card Tricks

Our nation's addiction to ponying up money we don't have (deficit spending) reminds me of the family who makes their mortgage payments with their Master Card, and then uses their VISA card to make their Master Card payments.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Foretold by Malachi (Chapter 4, Verses 5 & 6)

David & Sarah,
As you already know, our Campbell and Henry family lineage (through your Great Great Grandfather Montford Guyon Seylar, your Great Grandmother Rhoda Leona Seylar Kump's Dad) goes back to the patriot Patrick Henry, but it goes back still even further than that.
Today, I completed more LDS Temple submissions on "Ma-Maw" Kump's family line, back through Scot and Irish Kings, and which includes Henry I of England.
That portion of our family genealogy now has been completed back to the First Century A.D., and the work continues on it as well as the other branches of our family tree, all of which has been posted at http://www.familysearch.org/.
The Spirit of Elijah continues to inspire marvelous works and wonders.
Love
Dad

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

From "The Sword of the Lady" by S.M. Sterling

"...unless a man be tested to the utmost, none may know what hidden weakness lies in him, nor may he know his own...Devils seek to rule men, the Gods give us opportunities to rule ourselves, which may be infinitely more difficult, and to assist each other...which is harder still..."

Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Sting

Earlier this afternoon, while attempting to clear brush from near the fruit trees on the far side of my home, I disturbed a nasty and noxious nest of bees.
They were not amused.
I was badly stung, close to a dozen times.
These tiny terrorists even got under my clothes.
I also was not amused.

Friday, September 11, 2009

911 Memories

September 11, 2001 was on a Tuesday, and I had called in to take an unscheduled vacation day from my job as a prison case manager at Roxbury Correctional Institution in Hagerstown, MD.
Very early that morning, I had awakened with a strong need to go serve in the Washington D.C. Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).
Inside those sacred walls that morning, there was no hint of the outside chaos that soon began to unfold.
When I left the Temple, one of the groundskeepers approached me, and said, with a deathly pale expression, "We just have been bombed!"
Numbly, I nodded and continued on to my car in the parking lot, wondering what have caused his trauma and if he just was the victim of some scurrilous rumor.
To my chagrin and utter dismay, the truth of this tragedy soon began clear to me when I turned on my car radio.
I'll never forget the ongoing panic and mass hysteria that day in our nation's capitol.
It felt almost was as if I was in a third world banana republic, in the midst of a coup de'etat.
That day is forever burned in my memory.
I hope and pray that I never forget that awful day and the blessings of liberty that we all take so much for granted.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Lest We Forget (an Important Law)

Obey gravity.
It's the law.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Better than "Hallmark" (and just for you)

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire,
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it.
She moved in with me.

Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder.
"What the heck was I thinking?"

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you,
I've changed my mind.

You brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go.,
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

Monday, September 07, 2009

To My Children

Dear Sarah & David,
Throughout my adult life, much of my time each day has been spent in personal prayer.
Some of it has been on my knees in a more formal mode, but most of it throughout the day is in almost constant whispered and sometimes even subvocal conversations with Our Father in Heaven.
And so it is that, over the years, I have learned to more fully recognize the gentle whisperings of the Holy Ghost, which are easiest for me to hear and heed when I am quiet and calm.
Accordingly, this morning, as I was studying the most recent words of the Prophets (Scripture), the prompting strongly came to me to share these thoughts with both of you.
Of all the people in my life, you two have been the most intense and constant focus of my prayers, on behalf of your personal welfare and happiness.
Perhaps mostly unbeknownst to you, it has been gratifying for me to see the hand of God and His ministering angels active in watching over you and removing some of the worst stumbling blocks from your paths, while also allowing you to experience and grow from the consequences of your choices.
In my living room hangs a reproduction of my favorite painting.
It is of a little boy, dressed in a Superman outfit and holding the hand of his Dad as they stroll down the sidewalk.
The caption reads, "Even Superman Needs a Dad".
It is the same with us and Our Father in Heaven.
With all my heart, thank you for allowing me to be your earthly Dad.
Love,
Dad

Saturday, September 05, 2009

At the Zoo


A coworker previously shared a rather long article with me on "The Corporate Monkey", which is a rather long read, but part of it struck a chord with me that also may resonate with you:


"...I feel like a monkey at a zoo.We monkeys interact. Sometimes we groom each other (like real monkeys do) by helping each other. That is nice. It feels good, and is enjoyable.Other times we throw @#$!! at one another (like real monkeys do).This is not fun, and unfortunately happens far too often.
...unless you change the mind and the heart of the monkey, there is no chance to change the zoo."