True Stuff that I Made Up

"Not Long Enough!"

2012-01-02T07:46:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, on New Year's Day and as I was chatting after Church services with my friend and brother David Moore, I asked him how long he has been married.

Dave immediately smiled and replied, "Not Long Enough!".

For me, Dave's reply was the best part of my New Year's Day.

Footnote: David and Shirleen Moore have been married for eighteen years, and they are looking forward to many more years together.

Sent to Carolyn McLaughlin Gibb

2012-01-02T05:48:00.002-05:00

Dear Carolyn,

Darlene Landis Spencer was at our LDS Hedgesville Ward worship meetings yesterday, and she asked about you.

When she bore her testimony in Sacrament Meeting, she spoke of how she had been given a Priesthood Blessing prior to her husband Eugene's lingering death from cancer.

He died the week before Christmas and that was the first week she has been out to Church since then.

She was at his bedside when he died, and, just as she was promised in her Priesthood Blessing, she was able to see through the veil as he passed through it, and is comforted to know that he now is waiting for her on the other side...

Larry.

Troublesome and Toxic

2011-12-19T05:58:00.001-05:00

The recent December 18th "Christmas Memories I Can't Forget" editorial comments by Don Smith (www.journal-news.net) mirrored my thoughts, as well as my concerns, about West Virginia's unhealthy dependence on revenue from gambling clip joints.
Gambling is a troublesome and toxic combination, especially when it is part of the government revenue stream.
It bodes ill for the well-being of Mountaineer families.
Visit www.LarryKump.us for legislative news and views.

Memories

2011-12-16T09:24:00.005-05:00

It was many years ago, and only a year or so after I had been baptized, that I had one of my first experiences as a recipient of selfless love and service from other Latter-day Saints.

I had graduated from Frostburg State College, and was in my early twenties.

Since my college baptism, my life had already gone through many changes in the nearby little Cumberland, Maryland Branch of the LDS Church, which was in the Blue Ridge District of Western Maryland and parts of Pennsylvania and West Virginia.

My former friends and associates had spurned me, because of my newfound faith and lifestyle, but I otherwise was pleased and content with the refreshing new focus of my life.

Although my financial circumstances were grim, I cheerfully paid an honest tithe and generous fast offerings from my meager income.

Even so, there were many times that a meal at a Church get-together or with a family in the Branch was all that I had to eat that day.

It also was a special treat when one of the families would surprise me by bringing a covered dish to Church for me (They claimed that they just thought a single young man would enjoy some home cooking.)

It was during that time in my life that a some other single adults had stopped by my tiny downtown Cumberland apartment, to pick me up to go with them to a movie.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, Libby and Janice must have noticed (or just flat-out snooped) that my kitchen cupboards and refrigerator were almost completely barren.

Shortly thereafter, these two sisters and others in their group somehow managed to sneak into my apartment and filled my cupboards and refrigerator to overflowing with food.

It wasn't until then that I realized that my personal financial challenges were not the secret that I previously had supposed.

Our Father in Heaven had been watching out for me through the personal agency and initiative of His loving Saints.

Postscript: The "Comment" section of: the December 2011 issue of the "Liahona" magazine includes some of my feedback, posted as "I Was Overcome with Gratitude" (http://www.liahona.lds.org/).

A Special Phone Call

2011-12-10T10:37:00.004-05:00

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LarryDKump has shared a video with you on YouTube: Phone Call From God-Jerry Jordan(45 Radio Version) '... thank you for looking and it wasn't.' classic line from a classic comedy bit.
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Mountaineers Prefer Kump

2011-12-01T09:38:00.002-05:00

Hi Larry,

Our PAC launches in January, and you will see significant support from us next year.

I am very happy to see you running for re-election to the West Virginia House of Delegates.

You're a model Delegate, who I hope to empower to continue achieving good for West Virginia.

West Virginia desperately needs honest folks like you, who are sincere and capable, in government.

Our taxes can be lowered, our economic climate can become employment friendly, our Judiciary can get an appellate level, and the Legislature can achieve more transparency with voters as well as be much more in harmony with our Constitution.

We can wean our government off the gambling teat, because there's even more revenue from a growing and vibrant economy.

Then our children will stay and prosper here in West Virginia, and our lives will become what they always should have been.

Few are those who can bring about this great change.

Few are those who can fight this fight.

Few are those who won't wear down, sell out, or give up.

Those few will be paid with respect, honor, and gratitude.

History will note them and We the People will revere them.

They will be the heroes of West Virginia, the greatest Mountaineers of all time.

We will do our part to help bring all of this about.

With respect and gratitude,

Greg Jessen
President: Mountaineer Tea Party LLC & PAC

Note: Visit http://www.larrykump.us/ for other legislative news and views.

Sad

2011-11-09T15:59:00.003-05:00

It's simply so sad that the West Virginia Governor has called a Special Session of the Legislature for the Lord's Day (Sunday), and also right in the middle of the day (Noon, November 13th) when many folks participate in worship services.

Delegate Larry D. Kump

Note: Visit http://www.larrykump.us/ for more of this about that at the "The Sunday Session" and the "More on Sad" entries as well as the postscript to the parallel "Sad" entry at that other website.

Passing Through the Veil

2011-11-07T08:39:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, an update was given to me about my Uncle, Harold "Curly" Kump, the last surviving member of my Dad's siblings.

(My Dad, Willis "Woody" Kump, passed away on May 12th, 2008 and after several years of home hospice.)

Uncle Curly lives in the Orange County suburb of Los Angeles. After struggling with health challenges for the last few years, he now is in terminal condition and not expected to live more than a few more days.

His wife Rita (nee' Parker), who was the only member of her family to escape the Nazi V-1 & V2 guided missle bombings of London during World War II, is caring for Uncle Curly.

My Dad's other siblings, Darrel and Darlene, were fraternal twins and they both preceded Dad in death.

Prior to his death and unbeknownst to the rest of my non-LDS family, Dad was receptive to the restored gospel and I saw to it that Temple ordinances were completed for him, as also previously has been done on behalf of my other kindred dead.

Mom and Dad were married for over sixty-one years, and Mom still mourns the loss of him from her life.

Update: Uncle Curly quietly passed away on Monday, 14 November 2011.

Sad News about a Friend

2011-10-20T07:32:00.000-04:00

Recently, while enjoying this week's lunch "Chilimac" $4.99 special at the "Hard Times Cafe" in Hagerstown, Maryland, a recently retired correctional supervisor entered the eatery, and we chatted briefly.

He filled me in on some of my former coworkers at the Hagerstown Correctional Complex, including Sue Petty and Denise Morgan, et al; but he also shared some sad news with me.

It seems that my Roxbury Correctional Institution (RCI) Correctional Officer friend Bobby Hendershot died unexpectedly of cancer, although he only was in his 40's (?).

Even more disquieting was the news that one of the other RCI correctional officers committed suicide.

More and more, it seems that folks are dying all around us.

You know, none of us will get out of this life alive.

It's often easy to forget that we're only visitors here ;)

Best Buddies

2011-10-19T08:03:00.000-04:00

Let me tell you about that man with me in the swimming pool.
Mostly at the insistence of my Mother, I was raised in a prominent local church in Hagerstown, Maryland.
However, at age twelve, I already was disturbed and troubled about the meaning of life.
My Sunday School teachers couldn't answer my questions, and my several abortive attempts to read the Bible left me even more confused and frustrated.
(It probably didn't help that I began with the Old Testament).
During the next several years, I even made inquiries into non-Christian religions and philosophies, all of which which fascinated me but none of which resolved my dilemma.
Finally, at the tender age of about fifteen, I came to the reluctant conclusion that either God really didn't exist, or, if He did, He just wasn't interested in or accessible to me.
And so it was that I wavered between agnosticism and outright atheism.
It was at that time in my life that I was both mystified and derisively amused by my new and younger next door neighbor, Ray A. Geyer.
He was enthusiastic about his recent ordination as an Aaronic Priesthood Deacon in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church), and anxious to share the good news of the Restored Gospel with me.
After a series of discussions and sometimes contentious arguments with Ray, I ever so reluctantly sat down with two LDS Missionary Elders, and directly confronted them with my questions and concerns.
To my surprise and chagrin, Elder Wayne Platt Smith's humble spirit immediately touched my heart and soul.
Even more surprising to me, this mere high school graduate was able to readily answer all my questions, questions that had stumped all the learned and older ministers from so many other faiths.
Elder Smith warned me that neither he nor anyone else could convert me to Christ, and this was something that I had to determine for myself.
He also encouraged me to continue to meet with my parents' pastor and others, so that I could better sort out truth from fable for myself, and not be led astray in my quest for the meaning of life.
It was then that I began to read the Book of Mormon to find out for myself if all of this really could be true.
Subsequently, after reading the Book of Mormon and also the Bible (cover to cover), I knelt alone in my parents' living room on one hot Summer afternoon.
Confessing to God that I still had serious doubts about Him and feeling foolish in my awkward attempt to pray, I nevertheless boldly challenged Him to tell me if He was real and if the Book of Mormon was true.
The surprising, satisfying, and immediate reply from Him to my belligerent yet anxious prayer infused me with both joy and gratitude.
My parents thereafter stunned me with their hostile reaction to my newfound faith, refusing to give me permission to be baptized or to have any further contact with the LDS Church or its members.
It wasn't until six years and many missteps later, when I had reached the then legal age of consent (twenty-one) and was a student at Frostburg State College, that I at long last revisited my previous inquiry to God and finally was baptized (in Cumberland,MD).
Sadly, my family and college chums opposed my rediscovered faith and subsequent baptism, and many of them even went so far as to deride my change of heart.
This personal quest of mine began about fifty years ago.
Now, I am an adoptive and divorced parent, multiple times recovered cancer patient, and one who has been through my share of personal trials.
I promise you, in the name of Jesus Christ, that the Book of Mormon is the most correct of any book on Earth and contains the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ (in tandem with the Holy Bible) as well as the answer to your heartfelt prayers.
And so it is that all I am or ever hope to be I owe to the Book of Mormon, two young Missionary Elders, and a boyhood neighbor who took the time and cared enough to lead me to the meaning of life.
So, this is my response to those of you who have been curious about the swimming pool photo of me and my friend Ray, for whom my love and gratitude exceeds all others.
(Some of my favorite Book of Mormon passages are 2 Nephi 28:29 and 29:3-13. Also read in the Book of Mormon: Mosiah, Chapter 2, verse 4; and in the Doctrine & Covenants: Section 112, verse 11 and also Section 121, verses 41 & 42).
For a free copy of the Book of Mormon and/or the King James version of the Bible, call 1-888-537-2200, on any day or at any hour.

The Kump Family Castle in Austria

2011-10-02T01:10:00.000-04:00

Here are some links to web pages and photos of Schloss Matzen in Austria, and owned by the Kump family:

Overview. Lots of pictures inside and out.

Another majestic photo.

More history.

Schloss Matzen: One of Europe's most romantic medieval castles, lies high in the Austrian Tyrol, where the air is crisp and clean.
The location is Reith im Alpbachtal, in the Tyrolean Alps of western Austria, approximately 30 miles/50 km northeast of Innsbruck, about a 90 minute drive or train from Munich or Salzburg (it is less than 5 minutes drive from the nearest train station and Autobahn exit).
The castle was first referred to in 1167 and has been privately owned ever since.
It's history also includes highlights such as its Baroque chapel being twice consecrated by bishops who would go on to become Pope. Teddy Roosevelt also visited it at the turn of the century, as a hunting companion of the former owner.
The size of the building is approx. 20,000 square feet, including the 6 story tower, on a 2.4 hectare (approx. 6 acre) lot, half-surrounded by an Austrian nationally-protected public park. There are approximately 60 rooms, depending on how you count rooms (there are several long, arcade passageways), including 12 guest rooms appointed with antique furnishing and private bathrooms with modern heating, plumbing and electricity. It is connected to the local sewer system and has its own private spring water supply.

Kumpdillylicious

2011-09-23T13:33:00.002-04:00

Dear Julie,

Last night, while out teaching the gospel with our local LDS Missionary Elders, both of whom are age twenty, I pointed out to them that I am over three times their age.

Of course, I also am over three times as "Kumpdillylicious" as both of them put together.

Larry

Postscript: I may be older than dirt, but dirt is just mud with all of the water squeezed out of it. And, I have a T-Shirt to prove it ("Old Guys Rule").

Wood or Clay?

2011-09-14T07:23:00.003-04:00

Paul said to Timothy: "...in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay." (2 Timothy 2:20).

And so it also is for me, as an ever so grateful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church), that I am one of those wood or clay vessels.

Those Who Wait

2011-09-09T10:56:00.005-04:00

Dear Charlene,

The persistent deluge of heavy rain and flooding yesterday really diminished the number of patrons at the D.C. Temple.

In point of fact, during the first morning endowment session, I was the only patron, but a sister finally was found, and a session was conducted for just the two of us (plus the two in the Spirit World, who had been waiting so long and anxiously).

Larry

Meanness Does As Meanness Is

2011-09-02T09:41:00.003-04:00

Dear XXXXX,

Your comment yesterday about the strident meanness in the hearts and minds of a few folks hereabouts struck a resonant yet mournful chord in my heart.

Such attitudes in others are a cancer that eats away at their souls, doing them far more lasting damage than anyone else.

They have met the enemy and they are them.

Larry

Postscript: All of us should look into our mirrors, and see what is reflected therein.

Mountaintop Musical Magic

2011-08-21T15:41:00.006-04:00

Not far from the West Virginia State Capitol, near Elk Hills and several miles up a steep mountain road, is the secluded family home of Mark Atkinson, a prominent Charleston attorney and faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).

It was there last night that Mark and his family hosted about thirty or so friends and associates for a "Concert on the Lawn", performed chiefly by him and his daughter Micah but also including his daughter Ali and son John Mark.

The Atkinson family hospitality and musical talent truly was and is a marvelous work and a wonder.

Although skilled in singing and playing musical instruments, Mark also is a gifted songwriter. However, his daughter Micah has a voice that perhaps is best described as "resonating liquid velvet".

The musical numbers they performed included the Beatles' song "Eleanor Rigby", Dolly Parton's "I Always Will Love You', a blues number made famous by Billie Holliday, as well as some incredible and touching love songs written by Mark about and for his family. Mark and Micah then finished off this amazing evening with the old LDS favorite hymn, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing".

One fascinating footnote to last night's wonderful evening of hospitality and music by the Atkinson family was the historical datum shared by Mark that the current Atkinson home is only a few scant miles away from his parent's home and also near the site of an antebellum "underground railroad" sanctuary for escaped slaves.

At the Library with Paul

2011-06-25T18:10:00.003-04:00

Early this morning and after finishing some personal errands in Hagerstown, Maryland, I stopped by the local library branch in Williamsport, Maryland in order to use one of their computers and check for emails on my legislator responsibilities.
It was a few minutes before the library opened at 10:00 AM, so I sat down on the library front porch bench with another patron, who greeted me and told me that his name was Paul.
During our mutual introductions, Paul told me that he is a music director and organist for a local Church.
Given that opportunity, I told him that I was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, whereupon he became curious and admitted that he didn't know much about "Mormons".
Seizing that magic moment, I briefly summarized my own early childhood church experiences, my personal search for the meaning of life, and my subsequent conversion to the Restored Gospel.
I then gave him my personal calling card, which lists this website as well as a toll free number to receive more information about the LDS Church. Also, I gave him "Book of Mormon" and "What is the purpose of life?" pass-along cards.
Minutes thereafter, as we both were sitting side by side at the library computers, he emailed me and told me he already had visited my website and how much he appreciated meeting me.
As I left the library to travel on to a meeting with a legislative colleague and a constituent in Martinsburg, West Virginia, I reflected that my meeting this morning with Paul was so much more important than my other duties that day as a Delegate in the West Virginia House of Delegates.

"Mouseland", A Fable for Our Times

2011-06-09T05:46:00.000-04:00

The "Mouseland" fable originally was written in the 1940's by Clarence Gillis, and then later narrated by the late Tommy Douglas and therein made into a slide show presentation.

It was in the late 1960's that I first saw the film of the slide show presentation, when I was a political science undergraduate student at Frostburg State College in Western Maryland.

It since then has been remade into an animated video version.

Regardless of the politics and nationality of Tommy Douglas, Mouseland's message rises above fractious political partisanship with a cry for each and every one of us to stand up and be responsible for our own liberty and freedom of choice.

Click the link in this entry at http://larrykump.blogspot.com/2010/06/mouseland-fable-for-our-times.html to watch the video, and decide for yourself if these principles make as much sense to you as they do for me.

Also, pass this along to all of your friends, family, and associates by clicking on the envelope icon at the end of that entry.

Regardless of where you live, you can do your part to support this quest for "Jobs & Prosperity", "Personal Liberty & Family Values", and "Returning Government Back to the People".

You can start by sending your contributions to:
"Friends of Larry D. Kump"

c/o Robert B. Griffith, Treasurer
P.O. Box 1322
Hedgesville, WV 25427

May God bless you all real good!

The Miracle of the "David" Tree

2011-06-08T18:24:00.000-04:00

(Originally posted 11/27/04)
Far too often, the challenges and heartaches in our lives distract us from that which should be most sacred and special in our focus and priorities.
And so it was for me, when on the morning of September 7th, 2002,
yet another powerful reminder of God's infinite love and power was given to me.
My experience begins when I was a young father and husband, and we lived in Cumberland, Maryland.
In the backyard of our home at 810 Shriver Avenue was a huge and fruitful old "Granny" apple tree.
Early each Spring, it was covered with blossoms, and it thereafter faithfully bore basket upon basket of fruit, so much so that we had trouble putting all of it to good use, or even finding those with whom to share this bounty.
David, my adopted three year old son, loved to climb up into that tree, and I began to call it the "David" tree.
Years passed.
We moved to Indianapolis, Indiana, in the Fall of 1978, and then moved again shortly thereafter, when Carolyn divorced me and our family fell asunder.
By 2002, David had grown into a strapping 28 year old man, with a home of his own, but the "David" tree remained a precious memory of mine.
And so, in honor of that sweet memory, I had planted another "David" Granny apple tree in the side yard of my home in Falling Waters, West Virginia.
Unfortunately the Summer drought of 2002 took its toll, and the tree soon lost its foliage and died.
Then, in early September of that year, my contractor friend, Jesse Schissler III, was working on an addition to my home, and, knowing my attachment to the now forlorn and lifeless tree, offered to transplant it from the site of the addition and away from the construction work to a large plastic tub on my front porch.
Even though I knew the tree was dead, I agreed, if only to help preserve a keepsake of it.
Still, it looked so pathetic and defeated.
Each passing day, as I came and went to and from home, that dried up little skeleton of a tree caught my attention.
Then, one early morning, just before Dawn, as I was preparing to leave for work at the prison, I felt prompted to knell beside it and pray for its restoration, even going so far as to lay my hands on it's brittle branches, and, by the power and authority of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood, invoking blessings from Heaven upon it.
It only was a few days thereafter, on the morning of Saturday, September 7th, 2002, that I noticed that it was covered in new green sprouts, followed shortly thereafter with a profusion of apple blossoms.
My feelings about all of this is hard to put into words, but perhaps my favorite poem by Lord Alfred Tennyson best sums up the lesson God taught me through this tree about how we never should give up or lose faith in His promises to us (Isaiah 40:31):
"Fragment"
Flower in the crannied wall,
I pluck you out of the crannies.
I hold you here, root and all, in my hand.
Little flower - but if I could understand
What you are, root and all, and all in all,
I should know what God and man is.

Temple Memories (Also published in the "Church News", 4 September 2004, page 16)

2011-06-08T14:15:00.000-04:00

(Originally posted in August, 2004)
Very early Saturday morning, August 14th, 2004, it was good to be back at the Washington D.C. LDS Temple again.

Particularly meaningful to me was the endowment ordinances I was performing for a 15th Century Dutchman, since my own ancestry mostly is Dutch and German.

As I thereafter sat quietly praying in the Celestial room of the Temple, memories of my first Temple experience flooded my mind.

In was in 1970, and, after being baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) a year earlier at age 21, I was excited and anxious to receive my Temple washings, annointings, and endowments.

Although there were plans to finally build an LDS Temple East of the Mississippi River in the D.C. area, this was not to happen until 1974, and I couldn't bring myself to wait that long.

But to which Temple should I go and how?

LDS friends in the Cumberland, Maryland area where I was baptized suggested that I could go to Utah and stay with their extended families and friends, but I somehow was reluctant to do that.

One night, as I prayed about what to do about my Temple endowments, the answer suddenly came into my mind: go to the Los Angeles, California Temple and stay with my nonmember paternal grandparents, Edgar and Rhoda Kump.

I first broached this idea to my nonmember parents in Hagerstown,MD, and my Dad agreed that my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all would be glad to have me visit them.

However, he also cautioned me not to mention my new LDS Church affiliation to them, because it would offend my grandparents' fundamentalist religious affiliation and sensitivities.

And so I followed my Dad's counsel, inviting myself to visit his family, but not mentioning to them the larger purpose of my visit.

However, when "Pap-Pap" met me at the L. A. airport, I felt prompted to tell him of my newfound faith and my desire to go to the Temple.

He became very quiet upon hearing this news, and the drive back to his home seemed to last forever.

Arriving at his housing development, he spoke for the first time since I had bore my testimony to him of my conversion, asking me to go with him on a walk before we finally went home to see "Mam-Maw".

He knocked on every door of every home of that little retirement community within Tustin, California, whereupon, at each door, he stuck out his chest and proudly introduced me as his "Mormon Elder" grandson.

Before we finally went back to his home, he then confided in me that, many years ago, he was converted to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but, because my grandmother refused to change her faith and religious affiliation, he reluctantly opted not to join the LDS Church.

Having said that, he bore his testimony to me, and promised me that I never would regret the choice I had made, and how proud he was of me.

Both my grandparents never did join the Church, and they have long since passed away, but it has been my blessing and privilege to have their vicarious Temple work done on their behalf.

Larry D. Kump, High Priest
Hedgesville, West VirginiaWard
Martinsburg, West Virginia Stake

For more information about the difference between LDS Churches and Temples, and the eternal blessings availiable to you, call 1-888-537-6777 at any hour or day and ask for the free video "Together Forever".

My "Sacred Grove" Home (first posted in 2004)

2011-06-08T13:02:00.000-04:00

An email to a friend on the West Coast:
Dave just posted the photo of my home on his website about me. Thank you for emailing that photo to him.
Thank you also for the "Sacred Grove" reference about my home. You spoke of things near and dear to me, but also stirred up memories which had faded away with time. Those memories are precious to me beyond words.
I took my daughter Sarah and son David to the Church "Hill Cumorah" pageant when they were just little tykes. The weather mostly was foul and we watched the pageant in a heavy downpour, but we had a rare gift of sunshine when we visited the "Saced Grove" near Palmyra, NY, where Joseph had his first revelation and visitation from God and his son Jesus Christ, in answer to his heartfelt prayer of which Church to join. The New Testament Scripture that led him there to pray in private (James 1:3-6) to this day is a guiding star in my life.
Anyway, I previously had thought that our visit to Palmyra had made little impression upon my children, and that they were far more entranced by the amusement park that we visited near Canidiqua and the boat ride at Niagara Falls. However, in 1991, when I purchased the three acre lot upon which I was to make my home and Sarah was helping me pound in metal lot boundary markers, she remarked to me that my little section of woods reminded her of the "Sacred Grove".
And so it has been for me, a place of healing, solitude, and prayer. Thank you again for drawing these spiritual threads together for me.

Postcript: In response to several inquiries about my home, the photo is somewhat deceiving, inasmuch it gives the impression that it just is a small cabin, due to the angle of the photograph. My home actually is much larger than it appears in the photograph, and includes four bedrooms and a personal library/office.

No Getting Around Him

2011-06-08T01:07:00.000-04:00

The largest knight at King Arthur's Round Table was Sir Cumference.

He ate lots of pi.

...While I was Sleeping

2011-06-07T16:02:00.000-04:00

"Dear David and Sarah" (published in the 12/01 "Ensign")

2011-06-07T13:07:00.000-04:00

(excerpted from the December, 2001 "Ensign" magazine)
As a divorced Dad, I worried about my two young children-David and Sarah-who lived more than 500 miles away in Hanover, Pennsylvania, from me in Indianapolis, Indiana, and without the Gospel in their home.
I talked with my Bishop, and he suggested that I use my Family Home Evening time each week to write a personal letter to each of my children.
He promised me that faithfulness in this labor of love would provide the key to answering my prayers for my children's well-being and lead them to baptism
I was skeptical, but agreed to follow his counsel.
Years passed, and I continued to write each week, and also to visit them as frequently as possible.
Unfortunately, my children seemed to be moving further and further away from the Gospel.
It was discouraging.
Nonetheless, after David and Sarah became young adults, both of them chose to be baptized-one in Fort Knox, Kentucky at a military installation, and the other a few years later in Martinsburg, West Virginia.
It was a marvelous work and a wonder to me that they gave me the honor of participating in their baptisms.
Excercising faith in the promises of the Lord's chosen representative provided the means to bring forth this blessing on behalf of my children.

-Larry D. Kump
Hedgesvile, West Virginia Ward
Martinsburg, West Virginia Stake

More Reflections on my "Sacred Grove" Home

2011-06-07T09:01:00.000-04:00

(Originally posted 10/1/06)

It rained heavily during the night.
Earlier this morning, I noticed the rays of Sunshine streaming through the morning mists and woods surrounding my home.
That scene reminded me again so much of Joseph Smith, when that unlettered farmboy knelt in his own "Sacred Grove" and had a revelatory experience that changed the world (and also profoundly affected my life), as previously pointed out to me so many years ago by my daughter Sarah.
For a photo of my wooded homesite, go to www.indynerds.com/larry.
Also, for the same photo, but a better description of my home; scroll down these entries to "My Sacred Grove Home".

My Mentor (also published in the 9/85 "Ensign")

2011-06-07T01:23:00.001-04:00

(Originally posted in August 2004)
In 1970, about a year after I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) in Cumberland, Marland (22 February 1969), I was called by the Mission President to audit the financial records of all the various branches in the Blue Ridge District (covering parts of four States - Maryland, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and Virginia).
As a 22 year old convert, I had an intellectual appreciation of the gospel, but had not as yet developed much spiritual depth.
As part of my assignment, I was to meet with President Self, who was both Branch President and Financial Clerk of the tiny Branch in Keyser, West Virginia.
My first impression of him was that he was a good man, but not given to much "book learning".
With all the arrogance of my newly acquired college degree, and knowing the difficulties much more educated people had experienced in maintaining the records in the other branches, I had put off this visit with him until last and worried about what I would find in Keyser.
To my amazement, his ledger, with the crabbed yet ever so carefully made entries, was without flaw of any kind.
Dumbfounded, I asked him if he encountered any difficulties keeping these accounts.
Humbly, he replied that he knew that he didn't have enough education or experience to handle his calling and assignment.
He then went on to admit that the task had been painstakingly difficult at times.
His method simply was to work on the books until he "got stuck".
Then he would take a break to kneel in prayer and ask the Lord for "more help".
Working far into the nights, and with many "breaks", he accomplished the task to which the Lord had called him.
This was not a formal classroom.
President Self was not specifically set apart as my teacher.
Nevertheless, he taught me a great lesson in faith, humility, and how God will help us in all that we are required to do.

Larry D. Kump
Ravenswood (Indianapolis), Indiana

Latter-day Saint Elected to West Virginia State Legislature

2011-06-06T07:51:00.000-04:00

(First Posted on November 3rd, 2010)

FALLING WATERS, WV - Larry D. Kump, a High Priest in the Hedgesville, West Virginia Ward and Martinsburg, West Virginia Stake of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) has been elected to the West Virginia House of Delegates for District #52 (Portions of Berkeley and Morgan Counties in the West Virginia Eastern Panhandle - about 70 miles West of Washington, D.C. )

The sixty-two year old LDS convert said, "Although I have served as a public administrator and legislative relations specialist for thirty-eight years in various parts of the United States, my biggest regret has been not being able to serve a full-time Church Mission. Now, with my election to the West Virginia State Legislature, I now have an opportunity to fulfill a two year 'public service' mission. "

The West Virginia State Legislature meets in the State Capitol in Charleston, which is in the extreme Southwest end of West Virginia. Five other state capitols (Maryland, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Delaware, and New Jersey) are closer to Kump's West Virginia election district than the West Virginia capitol.

Visit http://www.larrykump.us/ and the "Martinsburg, WV Journal Reports on Kump Victory" entry and link for additional details.

The Basis of My Simple Faith

2011-06-05T09:56:00.000-04:00

Inasmuch as, during my campaign for election to the West Virginia House of Delegates, some have asked me about my simple faith and how I feel about the faiths of others, here is a thumbnail summary that is printed on the card which I share with them about those issues:

Old Testament, 19th Psalm (of David)
"The heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmament sheweth his handiwork...."

Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 25:26
"And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ...that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins."

New Testament, Hebrews 12:2
"Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith..."

LDS Church 11th Article of Faith
"We claim the privilege of worshipping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all the same privilege, let them worship how, where, and when they may."

Visit http://www.larrykump.us/ for information about my election campaign.

Scabs

2011-06-05T09:11:00.003-04:00

Brigham Young once said that, when we didn't feel like praying, that was when we should get down on our knees and pray until we did. He also may have been the one who said that we should pray until we develop scabs on our knees.

Enos impressed me the most the first time I read the Book of Mormon. His persistence in seeking to know God and His will through Jesus Christ was a tremendous object lesson for me.

"Smart" (A Leadership Primer?)

2011-05-14T11:51:00.005-04:00

My librarian friend Dana is anxious to help me be a smarter and better self-actualized legislator, so she shared this with me:

My dad gave me one dollar bill
'Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
'Cause two is more than one!

And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes-I guess he don't know
That three is more than two!

Just then, along came old blind Bates
And just 'cause he can't see
He gave me four Nickles for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!

And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!

And then I went and showed my dad,
And he got red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head-
Too proud of me to speak!

-from "Where the sidewalk ends", Shel Silverstein, "Scholastic" (October ,1996)

Postscript: On the other hand, are the above stanzas any goofier than the policies and practices of some of our leaders?

About John Franklin Kump

2011-05-07T12:37:00.006-04:00

My Great Great Grandfather John Franklin Kump was born in or near Chambersburg, in Franklin County, Pennsylvania

His father David gave him the middle name of Franklin because of his birth in that county.

(David S. Kump was the Master Mason who supervised the building of the huge stone bridge that still stands today and spans the Susquehanna River into the Pennsylvania State Capitol of Harrisburg. Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery were baptized in the same river, albeit far upstream)

John was a young boy when the Confederate Army under Robert E. Lee captured Chambersburg, on the way to the battle of Gettysburg, and threatened to burn it to the ground if the town leaders did not pay a ransom to supply Lee's troops. Chambersburg refused and Lee had the town burned to the ground, except for a square block around the Masonic Temple (both Lee as well as Joseph Smith were Masons).

John was caught by the confederate troops and pressed into service by them to gather firewood for the camp cooks. Each day he went farther out and took longer, explaining that firewood was harder to find. Finally, he just kept on going and escaped.

He had a beautiful tenor voice and often was asked to sing "The Old Rugged Cross", solo and without musical instrumental back-up, at family gatherings.

He wore a beard all of his adult life, except once when his beloved wife once told him that she thought he would look better without it. He didn't say a word, but then shaved it off the next day while he was a work as a surprise for his wife.

When he came home, she was in the kitchen and he crept up behind her and nuzzled her neck. Startled and knowing that her husband was not clean shaven, she screamed and struck him as she turned.

Weeping, she then made him promise never to shave off his beard again.

Years later, as an extremely elderly widower, he was dying in a Chambersburg hospital bed (why is another story, related to his Germanic heritage of stubbornness). His beard was stained from a lifetime of tobacco chewing, and the nurse told him that it must be shaved off. Weeping, he told the nurse that he had promised his wife that he never again would shave and never had broken that promise.

And so it was that that sweet nurse spent hours gently washing his beard until it was snow white.

John died soon afterwards.

I previously have had his and all my other kindred dead's LDS Temple ordinances and sealings completed.
.
Many times, especially in the Temple, I have felt the presence of my kindred dead and that they have been reaching out to help remove stumbling blocks in my path.

And so it goes.

Dearly Beloved Quasimoto Family Photo

2011-05-05T17:35:00.006-04:00

Go away Mr. Grinch!
(That's Cindy Lou Who in the background)

Musings at the State House

2011-03-11T05:20:00.002-05:00

Earlier this morning, I was reading and reflecting here at my State Capitol office here in Charleston, West Virginia.

There is great propensity here for legislators to spend much of our time on the floor of the House of Delegates in sponsoring resolutions as well as dedicating bridges, roads, and even turn lanes to constituents back home, and also to make a great show of introducing guests.

And so it was that these issues continued in my musings as I was reading "Emma and Joseph" (1999, Covenant Communications, Inc.) when the words describing Joseph Smith's visit to the United States Congress seemed to leap off the page (page 215):

"There is a great deal of wind blown off on the occasion of each day...."

Visit http://www.larrykump.us/ for my thoughts on the poltical issues of the day.

The Truth about Herman Schwartz

2011-02-23T09:09:00.003-05:00

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LarryDKump has shared a video with you on YouTube: Stonewall Jackson "Herman Schwartz" A funny name for a funny tune. It was Stonewall's last charted song, a #41 hit in 1973.
© 2011 YouTube, LLC 901 Cherry Ave, San Bruno, CA 94066

"Granfaloon", "Leap of Faith" & "Hallelujah"

2011-01-30T11:28:00.000-05:00

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., in "Cat's Cradle", described a meaningless event as a "Granfaloon", and, sadly, some view their own lives in that way.

As indicated below, we all stumble, but it is our compassion for others and our perseverence in faith that lifts us up to be more than we otherwise ever could be.

In the 1992 movie, "Leap of Faith", starring Steve Martin and Deborah Winger, there is a musical number which tugs at heartstrings.

I don't now remember the name of the song or even most of its lyrics, but part of the chorus goes something like this:

"I've been lonely.
I've been cheated.
I've been misunderstood.
I've been washed up.
I've been put down,
and told I'm no good,
but..."

The rest of the song's lyrics are intensely uplifting and go on to strike powerful chords about finding joy in the purpose of life.

An even better and more accurate perspective of how we should approach life is embraced in the song "Hallelujah" by "The Canadian Tenors" (click here for a link to the music video).

Faith never should be about outcome!

Visit http://www.larrykump.us/ to view entries on my other website.

My new photo.

2011-01-17T14:56:00.001-05:00

My new photo: (suitable for pasting to a dart-board)

The Word - according to "The Bird"

2010-12-29T11:46:00.000-05:00

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LarryDKump has shared a video with you on YouTube: The Trashmen : Surfin' Bird ( 1963 ) In a little over two minutes, The Trashmen changed the face of rock and roll forever. "Surfin' Bird" reached #4 on the Billboard Hot 100. It is a combination of two R&B hits by The Rivingtons, "Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow" and "The Bird's the Word". http://www.youtube.com/group/nojivefortyfives
© 2011 YouTube, LLC 901 Cherry Ave, San Bruno, CA 94066

The Bible explained by Children

2010-12-28T07:09:00.001-05:00

The following statements about the Bible supposedly were submitted by children, in response to a parochial school test about their understanding of the Old & New Testaments, and have not been edited for spelling or content:

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

3. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

4.THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

5. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

6. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

7. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

8. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

9. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

10. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

11. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

12. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU.

13. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

14. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

15. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

16. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

17. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

Preserving Our Freedom to Choose

2010-12-22T16:38:00.000-05:00

While recently reading the counsel of LDS President Thomas S. Monson ("The Three Rs of Choice", November 2010 issue of the
"Ensign" and "Liahona" magazines), his words reminded me of some other voices, many of whom are in positions of government and civic leadership.

Accordingly and in response to those who have asked me why I finally agreed to be a candidate for and then serve as a member of the West Virginia Legislature (House of Delegates District # 52, portions of Berkeley and Morgan counties in the Eastern Panhandle), it was and is, for me, a political and personal choice that is part and parcel of the essence of my faith in God and and the importance of His gift of choice (agency) to all of us.

Former LDS Church President David O. McKay, in speaking of our sacred right of personal choice, once pointed out that, "next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God's greatest gift to man.".

For me, this also especially is true when well intentioned others attempt to force laws and regulations upon us that they feel are "in our best interests" (as they define them).

Making correct and moral choices is vital to our personal and family welfare, both here and now as well as throughout eternity, but those choices must be ours to make and not be imposed upon us by others, regardless of their good intentions.

Footnote: For me, much of our freedom of choice is embodied in the Bill of Rights of our United States Constitution, with special note of the Tenth Amendment. More information about my political positions and philosophy is available at www.LarryKump.us.

from "Aurora Leigh"

2010-12-11T05:48:00.000-05:00

" ...But only he who sees takes off his shoes;
The rest sit around it and pluck blackberries."

-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Sleeping with Larry

2010-12-03T13:07:00.000-05:00

The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Larry, because he snores so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Larry and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "What happened to you?" He said, "Larry snored so loudly that I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing: hair all standing up and eyes all bloodshot. They said, "What happened to you? You look awful!" He said, " Larry shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Mark's turn. Mark was a tanned, older cowboy in his sixties, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "What happened?"

Mark said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Larry into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night. Larry sat up and watched me all night."

My Personal Book of Mormon Insight

2010-09-13T08:55:00.003-04:00

After being introduced to the restored gospel as a teenager, one particular Book of Mormon passage amazed, strengthened, and gave me hope.

It was 2 Nephi 4: 16-35.

This confession of personal weaknesses and temptations, by a man so valiant in his love of and obedience to God, profoundly touched my heart.

Nephi helped convince me that, even with my own flaws and shortcomings, I could, like him, "know in whom I have trusted" and eventually come to the point wherein "I may shake at the appearance of sin".

In was then, I believe, that I began to begin to understand and treasure the hope and confidence that Christ gives to all of us through His infinite atonement on our behalf, and that, through Him and his loving Grace, we can overcome every obstacle and heartache in our lives.

The above appeared in the September 23, 2010, issue of Mormon Times.

A Call from Enoch

2010-08-16T13:32:00.006-04:00

On Saturday, August 7th, 2010, I drove up to the Greencastle Sportsmen's Association annual oxroast, something which I've enjoyed participating in ever since I was just a little boy, living with my parents and little sister on Ridge Avenue in Greencastle, Pennsylvania.

As I drove northwest of Greencastle on Williamson Road to the oxroast, I noticed a small sign pointing down a side road to the Enoch Brown memorial.

I remembered my late Dad telling me long ago about how Enoch Brown and his students were killed "by Indians" during colonial pioneer days. Shrugging it off as just an old but interesting bit of childhood historical lore, I continued on to the oxroast.

Returning home with a tummy full of savory oxroast, the sign again seemed to beckon to me, so I turned up that old country lane and then down Enoch Brown Road to the memorial and gravesite. There I learned that Enoch Brown and his eleven students were massacred (scalped) on July 27th, 1764, during the Pontiac War, and before we ever had become an independent nation.

I found all of this interesting, and then began the drive back home.
During that drive, thoughts about the need for Temple work to be done for Enoch and his students began to press strongly upon my mind, but, surely, I thought, this work had long ago been done by local Latter-day Saints.

Even so, those thoughts persisted.

So on Saturday evening, August 14th, 2010, I returned to the gravesite memorial and wrote down all the available names and information, vowing to confirm with the LDS "Family Search" website that the Temple work on their behalf actually had been done and putting this troubling unease of mine to rest.

Using the library computer in Williamsport, Maryland on Monday morning, August 16th, 2010, it amazed me to find no record of Temple ordinance requests ever being submitted on behalf of Enoch and his students.

Then the purpose of those persistent promptings finally became clear to me.

So, I immediately submitted those Temple Ordinance requests.

Thank you, Enoch, for your call to me.

Visit http://www.mormon.org/ or call 1-800-438-7557 for more about LDS Temples.

One Man's Perspective

2010-08-07T09:04:00.000-04:00

"Men living alone are like bears living with furniture"

-S. M. Stirling

The Perspicacity of a Pun

2010-08-06T16:36:00.001-04:00

There's an old pun that tells us that, "In a Democracy, your vote counts, but, in Feudalism, it's the Count that votes.".

So,what about our representation (or lack of it) that we receive in our national and state capitols?

Is ours a Democratic Republic or simply modern day political feudalism?

All of which much reminds me of "Mouseland, a Fable for Our Times", which you can view at www.LarryKump.us.

Photo-Lessons of Love

2010-06-16T08:17:00.001-04:00

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) magazine photographers consistently capture the pure essence of the meaning of love.

Whenever the LDS General Conference issue of the "Liahona" ("Ensign") arrives in the mail, the first thing I always do is to leaf through the pages and study the photos therein.

Such again was the case for me with the May 2010 General Conference issue.

At the bottom of page 106, under the remarks by Elder Francisco J. Vinas of the Seventy, "Things Pertaining to Righteousness", was yet another one of those wonderful photographs.

(Visit www.LarryKump.us for more of my other entries)

The Calling Card

2010-06-07T12:31:00.004-04:00

A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners.

At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door.

So, he took out his calling card and stuck it in the door, but first wrote on the back of it:
"Revelation 3:20 ...Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come into him...".

When the offering plate was passed and then returned to him the following Sunday, the pastor found that his card had been returned.

Added to it was:
"Genesis 3:10.. I was afraid, because I was naked, and hid myself...".

Postscript: Visit www.LarryKump.us for news about Larry.

Funeral Services

2010-05-18T12:08:00.002-04:00

A bagpiper friend of mine recently was asked by one of our local funeral directors to play at a graveside service for a homeless man.
The deceased had no family or friends, and the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery way out in our West Virgina backwoods.
The bagpiper was not familiar with the roads and soon became lost.
Arriving an hour late, neither the funeral director nor the hearse were anywhere in sight.
There only was the digging crew left, and they were taking a break to eat their lunches.
The bagpiper felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.
He then went to the graveside and looked down.
The vault lid was already in place.
Not knowing what else to do, he started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around as the bagpiper played his heart and soul out for this man with no family and friends.
As he played "Amazing Grace", the workers wept, he wept, and they all wept together.
The bagpiper then finished, packed up his bagpipes and started for his car.
Though he was saddened that he had arrived late, he felt good about the heartfelt service that he had rendered.
Then, as he opened the door to his car, he heard one of the diggers say:
"I never seen nothin' like that before in all my born days, and I've been putting in septic tanks hereabouts for nigh unto twenty years."
The bagpiper still was lost.

Liberty vs. Licentiousness

2010-05-13T09:02:00.002-04:00

"The Misunderstood First Amendment" by Cheryl B. Preston (BYU Studies, Volume 49, Number 1, 2010, ) is a fascinating read for anyone who has serious concerns about balancing our rights of free speech with the right to choose to protect ourselves and our children against invasive and destructive pornography.

Sent to Roy Gilleo, with Gratitude

2010-05-08T10:26:00.003-04:00

Roy,
The long enduring and steadfast friendship of you and Nancy, as well as your family's enthusiastic advocacy of my candidacy to serve in the West Virginia Legislature, means more to me than tongue can tell.
It was a particular and unexpected pleasure for me when you and Nancy traveled to West Virginia to personally support me at the recent Berkeley County Farm Bureau Candidates' Forum.
Rest assured that I have deeply pondered every word of both your spoken and written suggestions in regard to my efforts to help my fellow West Virginians pursue a better path by "Working Together to Stay Independent".
By the way, the "A Hero's Love Story" (posted at this website) perhaps best describes the footsteps of the kind of public servant who most inspires me.
Your Pal,
Larry

Postscript: Keep visiting www.LarryKump.us for election updates, and encourage others to do the same.

cc: Other Friends

A Hero's Love Story

2010-05-05T16:09:00.004-04:00

"Colonel Thomas L. Kane and the Mormons, 1846-1883" (BYU Studies, Volume 48, Number 4, 2009,http://byustudies.byu.edu) is a riveting read.
Although not a Latter-day Saint (LDS), Colonel Kane sacrificed much of his life for the protection of LDS liberty.
Also tucked away within the pages of this publication is the heartwarming and lifelong love story of Tom and his wife Bessie, who also was Tom's second cousin.
As a young man in his twenties, Tom had decided to remain single for all of his life.
A small and sickly man (5'4" in height and only 110 pounds in weight), Tom nevertheless had the heart of a hero.
Bessie first met Tom when she only was four years old, while he was visiting her Father.
Tom gave Bessie a china doll, and immediately won her young heart.
At age twelve, Bessie publicly declared that she intended to marry Tom.
At just three weeks shy of her seventeenth birthday, Bessie finally persuaded Tom to make her his wife, when he was thirty-one.
Neither of them ever regretted their marriage, and they endured many hardships together, remaining loving and steadfast companions during their entire marriage.
At the time of their marriage, Bessie's Dad remarked that she was young to marry, but he also observed that she couldn't have made a better choice in a husband.
Another recommended read about Thomas Kane is "Liberty to the Downtrodden", Yale University Press, 2009.

She Knows

2010-05-04T09:09:00.001-04:00

A little girl and her mother went shopping in a large department store.
After being in the store for some time, the little girl grew tired, let go of her mother's hand, and sat down on the floor to play.
Busily shopping, the mother moved on to another department, not realizing that her little girl no longer was with her.
Belatedly, the little girl discovered that her mother was nowhere to be seen, and she started to cry.
One of the store clerks saw the girl's distress, and asked her why she was crying.
After learning that the girl was lost, the clerk took her by the hand and they went looking for her mother.
After a few minutes of fruitless searching, the clerk had an idea. She asked the little girl if she thought that her mommy would recognize her voice, and the girl quickly nodded yes.
The clerk thereupon took her to the counter and lifted her up so that she could reach the store's public address system microphone.
The clerk then told the girl to talk into the microphone, so that her mother would hear her voice and come get her.
The girl clutched the microphone close to her, and boldly said: "I would like to bear my testimony. I know the Church is true."

From my Grandfather's Little Sister, Gertrude Kump Zeger

2010-04-26T18:58:00.001-04:00

Larry
I am glad you have so many people backing you.
Being a Kump,I know you have the ability to be a good person for the job.
We are not slackers.
We put our whole heart in what we believe.
My Dad, being a carpenter, could make anything. He said if someone else did it he could.
We children just loved to watch him turn out a table leg on the turning lathe or build a cabinet.
He taught me how to put a cane seat in a chair and upholster furniture.
My thoughts and Prayers are with you.
Love,
Aunt Gertrude

----- Original Message -----
From: "Larry D. Kump" <kumpster@mymailstation.com>
Sent: Monday, April 26, 2010 1:35 PM
Subject: *Ward Clem's List of Seven Virtues

It is fantastic news that Larry D. Kump is running as a candidate for election to the West Virginia Legislature.
I've been a friend and colleague of Larry for over twenty years. For many of those years we served together in our union for professional employees.
Larry was an untiring advocate for Maryland's state employees, and I am sure that he will put his advocacy skills to good use as a representative of his West Virginia House of Delegates District #52.
With that being said, here are my top reasons for folks to vote for Larry D. Kump:
1. Larry is unselfish and honest.
2. Larry is all about helping others.
3. Larry will put his constituents' interests ahead of the special
interest lobbying groups.
4. Larry is a fiscal conservative, lives prudently in his private life,
and will take those skills and attitudes with him when he goes to serve others in the Legislature.
5. Larry believes in less government interference in our lives.
6. Larry recognizes that government has become increasingly bloated and expensive.
7. Larry believes that we are over taxed, and he will make every effort to reduce taxes on already cash strapped West Virginians.

*Ward Clem

* Not to be confused with David Letterman and his lists.

Personal Postscript from Larry:
Check out www.LarryKump.us and, regardless of where you live, send your campaign contributions on behalf of better governance to:
Friends of Larry D. Kump
c/o Robert B. Griffith, Treasurer
PO Box 1322
Hedgesville, WV 25421

Please also pass this along to your friends, family, and other associates.

A Conversation with Jane

2010-04-24T12:52:00.000-04:00

Jane,
What a refreshing uplift your email was for me this morning, since using "Mormon" to describe ourselves often leads folks to the mistaken belief that we are not Christians.
Gordon B. Hinckley previously got my rapt attention on this issue when he repeatedly asked members to make more of an effort to not use "Mormon" as a descriptor and to tell inquirers that the name of our Church is "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints".
To that end, "Another Testament of Jesus Christ" previously was added to the cover of the Book of Mormon.
In short form, I prefer to refer to ourselves as "Latter-day Saints" or "LDS", which usually prompts those not of our faith to inquire further.
Latter-day Saints aren't followers of a Church led by Mormon, but instead are disciples of Jesus Christ, and it really helps to emphasis that when others ask us about our faith.
When folks ask me "Are Mormons Christian?", I always reply "Absolutely!" and point out that the name of our Church is "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints".
When they ask if that is the same as being a Mormon, I tell them that "Mormonite" and "Mormon" are derisive nicknames given to us in Joseph Smith's days, and I prefer to remind folks that Jesus Christ is the founder and finisher of our faith.

-----Original Message-----
From: Jane
Subject: Using the Term "Mormon"
Posted: 23 Apr 2010 05:34 AM PDT
When you write on a blog, on a Web site, or in an e-mail about the Church, do you wonder when it's appropriate to use the term "Mormon" vs. "LDS" vs. "Latter-day Saints" vs. "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints"?
The full name of the Church is not always readily identified by those not of our faith.
Furthermore, the term "Mormon" is so widely known and used, so why not use it?
After all, people looking for information on the Church often search for the term "Mormon".
A recent blog post on the Church's Newsroom blog clarifies the proper use of the term Mormon (http://newsroom.lds.org/blog/2010/04/using-the-term-mormon.html).

My Favorite Family Home Evening

2010-03-29T09:50:00.001-04:00

Many years ago, my daughter and adopted son were still little children.
I was a newly divorced Dad and my nonmember ex-wife had moved over 450 miles away from me and took our children with her to Maryland.
Following the inspired counsel of my young Indianapolis area Bishop, I telephoned and wrote to my children every Monday night, and visited with them at least once a month - driving all night on Fridays to visit with them on Saturdays and then driving back home immediately thereafter.
But my favorite and most special "Family Home Evening" of all was a couple of years later, when my children and I took a special Saturday mini-vacation trip together to the Hill Cumorah Pageant in Palmyra, New York.
It was chilly and rainy night, and, as I held my four year old daughter in my lap and my seven year old son shivered and huddled under my arm, I remember lamenting that what I had hoped to be a spiritual and fun feast for my children had become a miserable disaster.
Years later in 1991, however, my teenage daughter was helping me stake out the boundaries of a homestead that I had purchased in the West Virginia Eastern Panhandle.
I had moved to West Virginia in order to be closer to the home of my children, who now were living with their Mom in Southern Pennsylvania, close to the Maryland border.
It was then that my daughter said to me that the woods surrounding my home reminded her of the "Sacred Grove".
Since then, both my son David and daughter Sarah have joined the Church, and I have learned that Our Father in Heaven does answer the anxious and persistent prayers of an anxious and worried father.

The Best Testimony Ever

2010-03-07T16:55:00.001-05:00

This morning, during the Fast & Testimony meeting of our Hedgesville, West Virginia Ward, a very young boy proudly stood up to the pulpit.
Standing beside his father, he then loudly declared, "Jesus Loves Everybody!".
He and his father immediately thereafter returned to their seats in the congregation.
It was the best testimony ever.

It Happened to Me

2010-02-26T05:55:00.002-05:00

Recent events reminded me of a life lesson learned long ago and far away.
My brief and reckless rebound marriage to my second wife had resulted in huge amounts of debt before she left me and all the debts.
I was frantic.
How could I make my financial ends meet?
I even worried about my ability to pay child support to my first wife, who also was struggling with our two children and another child with her new husband.
Then, as I forlornly sat, watching the televised Spring General Church Conference from the darkened back row of the chapel of the Zionsville (Indiana) Ward (congregation), I heard one of our Priesthood leaders promise us that the blessings of Heaven would pour out to us if we paid an honest tithe and increased our fast offerings.
When he first spoke this counsel, I shrugged it off as not applying to me and meant only for others.
After all, I already was paying an honest tithe as well as paying what I thought was a more than adequate fast offering, and still was mired in mountains of debt.
Besides, why should Our Father in Heaven help me out of a situation that resulted from my own poor choices?
Then, he said it again, and I slowly began to pay more attention.
Finally, I realized that this counsel applied directly to me.
Still lacking conviction in the outcome, I nevertheless gulped hard and vowed to triple my fast offerings.
It was a tremendous leap of faith for me to do that, because simple math showed that any increase in my expenditures only would make my personal financial disaster much worse.
And so, each payday thereafter, I first paid my tithes and then my tripled fast offerings, but not understanding how my financial plight could be resolved without an unforeseen influx of large amounts of money from a heretofore unknown source.
I wondered if and how that would happen.
Time passed, and I continued to abide by my promise to the Lord, all the while also doing my absolute best to be an extremely frugal money manager.
Then, after the end of the year and as I was doing my annual tax returns, I suddenly realized that I now was completely debt free and living completely within my means.
It just didn't seem possible, and I frenetically checked and rechecked my budget and tax returns, over and over again.
It simply was true that, while I was continuing to struggle but faithfully paying my tithing and increased fast offerings, the Lord quietly answered my prayers and blessed me so much that I could scarce believe or receive it all.
It was and is a lesson in personal responsibility and faith that I shall never forget.

Pogo & the GOP (a Dialogue with a Friend)

2010-02-13T15:38:00.001-05:00

XXXXX,
The GOP's previous mantra could have been, "We have met the enemy and he is us."
It really concerns me that some still don't seem to get it.
Your analysis seems right on target to me.
Larry

Postscript: There is no such thing as a "sure win", but perhaps the smartest politician of all was William Tecumseh "Cump" Sherman.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Larry:
I think you're a sure win this November. The only saving grace to the repubs having screwed themselves the last 5 years is that the dems have screwed themselves even worse the past year. Isn't that how much of life is? He who screws up the least, wins.
XXXXX

He Made My Day

2010-02-12T13:47:00.000-05:00

At the local Food Lion Supermarket check out line earlier this afternoon, there was an extremely elderly man in front of me.
He was clutching a bouquet of roses, which he proudly proclaimed were for his "sweetheart wife".

Blizzard Boulevard in the Boondocks

2010-02-06T06:27:00.002-05:00

This is not the kind of blizzard that I enjoy so much at the local Dairy Queen.

There's at least two feet or more of snow on the ground hereabouts, it keeps coming down, and the word on the weatherman's street is that it won't stop until Sunday morning.

Still, there's nowhere else that I absolutely have to be and nothing else that I especially have to do.

It's during times such as this that I am especially grateful for the "Emergency Preparedness" self-sufficiency program that is taught and encouraged by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).

Homeland Security

2010-02-05T06:38:00.000-05:00

A meek and gentle lady had just returned to her home from church services, when she was startled by an intruder, who had tied up the rest of her family and was ransacking their home.
She screamed: "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar froze in his tracks, as the good woman tremblingly called 911.
When the officer quickly arrived and arrested the intruder, he asked him: "Why did you just stand there? All she did was scream a scripture at you."
"Scripture?" replied the burglar.
"She said she had an axe and two 38s!"

Moral: Knowing and applying the Scriptures in your life truly can be a lifesaver for you and your family.

2010-02-01T12:04:00.002-05:00

Kump announces bid for House

The Journal, Martinsburg, WV

Falling Waters man is vying for 52nd District seat

By Jamie West Journal Staff Writer. Posted: January 30, 2010

MARTINSBURG - When people ask how Larry D. Kump is doing, the answer isn't one they're used to hearing. "I'm goofy," he often replies.

Most times it's in reference to his personality and mood, an accurate depiction of his affable demeanor. Although, Kump said, people occasionally follow his response with, "Yeah, and I'm Donald," hinting at the two famous Disney cartoon characters.

Though Kump admittedly likes to joke, he is all business when it comes to the well-being of West Virginia.

A firm believer that anyone can make a difference, Kump announced Friday that he will run for the 52nd District seat of the West Virginia House of Delegates. Delegate Craig Blair, R-Berkeley, has represented the 52nd District since 2002, and recently announced his intentions to run for the West Virginia Senate.

Kump said he has been involved with government in one way or another throughout most of his life and has been an activist for personal freedom issues.

He said that after being approached by some county Republican leaders, they persuaded him to make a run for office.

"It was always a someday issue for me. I hadn't been thinking about doing that at this point in my life, and my daughter said to me, 'Dad, put your pom-poms down and get in the game,' so here I am," Kump said. "The amount of support I've already gotten from people has just really humbled me, and been really incredible."

Kump is running as a Republican, but considers himself more of a Libertarian/populist. His job history includes being the chief aide to the Republican leader of the Pennsylvania State Senate, executive director of the Indiana State Employees Association, the regional governor of the Maryland Classified Employees Association and most recently as a case manager specialist with Roxbury Correctional Institution in Hagerstown, Md.

Some of the issues he is passionate about include being an advocate for fiscal restraint and lowering or eliminating certain taxes. "I just think it's, for lack of a better phrase, cruel and unusual punishment to tax people on groceries and home heating fuel. Those are necessities that people need to live," Kump said.

He also has noted that people in the Eastern Panhandle often go to Maryland or Virginia to get their gasoline because of the cheaper prices. "I think the West Virginia gasoline tax should be lowered so we can compete with surrounding states," Kump said.

Though he is retired, Kump now finds himself busier than ever, but he said it's a "happier busier" and that he enjoys being active. He also has fought through two terminal cancer diagnoses and a house fire.

"I was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 1989 and given six months to live, and in 2002 I was told I had terminal cancer again in another area, and both of them went away by the grace of God.

It had to be that," Kump said. Now he wants to fight for the people and be their listening ear and representative.

"One thing the people won't get from me is political pandering," Kump said. "I'm not going to be one that glad-hands and goes to places just to get re-elected. What they can expect from me is to respond to every citizen that contacts me and to be straight-forward with what I'm for and what I'm against.

All legislative seats at all levels of government belong with people, and you need to listen to them.

"I really have a lot of sympathy with the little guys and gals out there, and not just in Berkeley County, that are trying hard to make financial ends meet, and are busting the gut.

We've got the elderly, the single parents, people that are just really hard pressed, and I think West Virginia could do a whole lot better for them than what they have," Kump said.

For more information, call Larry D. Kump at (304) 274-3104 or send him an e-mail at kumpster@mymailstation.com.

-Staff writer Jamie West can be reached at (304) 263-3381, ext. 132, or jwest@journal-news.net.

To Die For?

2010-01-28T07:23:00.001-05:00

Larry,

A very old man lay dying on his bed. Suddenly, he smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie, wafting up the stairs. He gathered up his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and, with an even greater effort, struggled down the stairs. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame and gazed into the kitchen.

Amazed, he thought perhaps that he already was in Heaven. Spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favorite and just baked chocolate chip cookies. Was this Heaven? Or, was this one final act of love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

He staggered toward the table. His shaking hand made its way to clutch one of those wonderful cookies, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

"Stay out of those!", she said. "They're for the funeral."

Dave ;)

Larry's Response to Dave: "I'm planning on serving snickerdoodles at my funeral, and inviting all my diabetic friends."

Kump Persuaded to be Legislative Candidate

2010-01-27T12:03:00.007-05:00

Falling Waters, WV - Republican leaders persuaded Larry D. Kump of Falling Waters, West Virginia of his strengths to be a candidate for election to the West Virginia House of Delegates District #52 (Northwest Berkeley County and a small section of Eastern Morgan County).

Mr. Kump agreed to give up his early retirement, making a further sacrifice of time and personal privacy to continue his thirty-eight years of public service in order to represent West Virginia taxpayers; especially weary working families, encumbered elderly, and struggling single parents; who all bust a gut every day to make their diminishing financial ends meet.

An advocate of fiscal restraint, with proven budgetary reform and legislative drafting expertise, Mr. Kump proposes a restructuring of West Virginia's taxes and the elimination of personal property taxes on family vehicles as well as taxes on groceries and home heating fuels.

On another tax issue, Mr. Kump further points out that many local residents purchase cheaper gasoline in Maryland and Virginia, thus depriving West Virginia of needed tax revenue and which also demonstrates the need for a reduction and restructuring of West Virginia gasoline taxes.

A fierce proponent of common sense health insurance reform, the former public sector labor leader proposes that a good first step would be to mend (tort reform) West Virginia's own exorbitant Medical Malpractice rates, which results in an exodus of qualified doctors from West Virginia and higher medical expenses for all of us.

Considering himself an independent Republican who sees himself as a libertarian/populist, this former CEO, professional arbitrator, certified mediator, expert court witness, training facilitator, cognitive behavior mentor, sex offender therapist, university guest lecturer, and critical incident stress manager looks forward to working with other legislators to enhance family preservation incentives and protect individual rights.

This previous assistant to the Republican Leader of the Pennsylvania State Senate has further pledged to push for American Constitutional Rights to be reserved only for American citizens, and not for expatriate terrorists.

Mr. Kump is a kinsman to both founding father Patrick Henry and former West Virginia Governor Herman Guy Kump (1932 term).

The proud father of David & Sarah, Mr. Kump is an award winning graduate of Hagerstown Community College, Frostburg State University, and the Maryland Correctional Professional Staff Academy.

Mr. Kump is a member of the Hedgesville, West Virginia Ward (congregation) of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).

Contact Mr. Kump at (304) 274-3104 for more information.

One of Many Previous & Persuasive Pleas

2010-01-26T09:04:00.000-05:00

Larry:
As one who is quite familiar with your political views and ability to express them, I urge you to prayerfully consider the appeal of party leaders to you to run for office, providing the rigors of travel to Charleston will not be too much for you physically.

You are known in our community as one who does not cave easily to pressure, even when your views are contrary to the majority.

We dearly need such representation in our West Virginia Legislature.
This is very likely a case where the call of God and the call of man are one and the same.

I urge you in the strongest possible terms to make the sacrifices called for in order for you to become an agent of positive change for the people of West Virginia and the Eastern Panhandle.

Sincerely,
Ed Wilson

Personal Sidebar Addendum from Larry: This good and devout Roman Catholic friend even has since gone so far as to petition a patron saint on my behalf. He and others like him have touched my innermost soul.

Cinderella & The Civil War

2010-01-25T02:10:00.000-05:00

From: Larry D. Kump
Subject: To Ward Clem, whose inquiring mind wants to know more
Date: Sunday, November 1, 2009, 10:12 PM

Ward,
The info you seek is available from Gary Gimbel (304-263-7242 or ggimbel@citlink.net). The Falling Waters Battlefield Association website is http://www.battleoffallingwaters.com/
Larry

--------------------------------------------------------------

Larry, could you provide me directions to the waterfall? It's always been a mystery to me regarding where the falls are. Also could you provide me directions to the other stops on your itinerary? Karen and I would like to explore further. Much appreciated. Ward

--------------------------------------------------------------
On Sun, 11/1/09, Larry D. Kump wrote:

Subject: Thank You
Date: Sunday, November 1, 2009, 5:40 PM
Dear Library Pals,
Yesterday afternoon's well attended events and all who participated in the Spring Mills (WV) Library Branch "Grand Opening & Open House" was well worth my time and interest.

It deeply touched my heart to see the absolute delight in the rapt faces of the little children when they met "Cinderella".

(Jaime did so much of a better job as "Cinderella" than I ever could have attempted as "Cinderfella".)

Those special memories no doubt will linger with those little folks throughout the rest of their lives.

However, Gary Gimbel's interactive presentation about the 1861 Civil War "Battle of Falling Waters" was the event that brought me to the Library that day, and I was not in the least bit disappointed.

In point of fact, on my way to the local LDS Church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) services in Spring Mills this Sunday morning, Gary's symposium yesterday prompted me to stop at the "Falling Waters" waterfall, which is bigger and better than I previously remembered.

(The State Of West Virginia owns the property surrounding that waterfall. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a "pocket-sized" state park and a picnic table or two at that location?)

In any event, continuing to drive South on Route 11 to take another look at the home place of Davy Crockett's grandparents, I then traveled another short distance to the monument of General (then a Colonel) "Stonewall" Jackson.

After our LDS Church services, I then went to the nearby "Stumpy's Hollow", to take another gander at the place where Colonel J.E.B. Stuart single-handedly captured a company of Union soldiers.

Thanks to all of you for all of that.
Larry

cc: Other Members of the Posse Comitatus

Bar Stool Economics

2010-01-24T13:17:00.000-05:00

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all
ten comes to $100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
So, that's what they decided to do.
The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.
"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20."
Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.
But what about the other six men - the paying customers?
How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33.
But, if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.
So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before, and the first four continued to drink for free.
But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
"I only got a dollar out of the $20,"declared the sixth man.
He pointed to the tenth man, " but he got $10!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a
dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I did!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man:Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison: "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him.
But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important: They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works.
The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction.
Tax them too much, or attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.
In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

A Lesson from a Frog

2010-01-23T14:54:00.001-05:00

Two little frogs were on their merry way to the big frog hoe-down. While they were traveling along the rutted road, they slipped and fell into one of those deep ruts.
After exerting all of his strength, the bigger of the two frogs was able to jump out of the rut; but, try as he might, the smaller frog just wasn't strong enough to escape.
Finally, the little frog told his friend to go to the hoe-down without him... and he did.

However, hours later, his froggy friend was amazed to see the very tired little frog walk into the frog dance hall.

"How did you manage to get out of that rut?", he asked.

The little frog simply replied: "A truck came along. I had to!".

And so it goes for each of us........

Four Powerful Principles

2010-01-22T14:29:00.001-05:00

XXXX,
Our last confidential exchange of emails over the weekend and today prompted me to reexamine some of my own forthcoming decisions about a number of issues.
I appreciate the sharing of your own reality check with me, which then led to that further reflection of my personal choices.
My LDS faith teaches me many things, which include four powerful principles:

*Never give up on what you know is true.
*There always is a choice.
*That choice belongs solely to you and nobody else.
*Never allow others to make your personal choices for you.

And so it goes.

Larry

Postscript: "...you gotta do what you think is right. That's all God ever asks of a man..."

- from "Final Impact", by John Birmingham

An Ice Cream Civics Lesson

2010-01-22T00:37:00.001-05:00

The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever learned was while teaching the third grade.
The Presidential election was heating up, and some of the children were showing an interest.
I decided that having an election for a class president would be a good teaching tool.
The students would choose the nominees.
The nominees would make a campaign speech, and the class would vote.
There were many nominations, and Jamie and Olivia were picked as finalists by the class.
Both candidates were good kids.
The day arrived for the candidates to make their speeches.
Jamie went first.
He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place, and ended by promising to do his very best.
Everyone applauded and he sat down.
Then Olivia spoke.
Her speech was concise.
She said, "If you will vote for me, I will give everybody ice cream."
She sat down.
The class went wild, screaming, "Yes! Yes! We want ice cream!".
She didn't say anything more.
She didn't have to.
A discussion followed.
How did she plan to pay for the ice cream?
Olivia didn't know.
Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it?
Olivia didn't know.
The class really didn't care.
They just wanted ice cream.
Jamie was forgotten.
Olivia won by a landslide.
Elections are like that.

-Contributed anonymously by a Grade School Teacher

Legislative News

2010-01-14T05:35:00.002-05:00

During my previous career, when I spent eleven years as the Executive Director and Chief Legislative Lobbyist/Media Director for the Indiana State Employees Association (ISEA), there were some curious developments.
One year, Representatives Delmar Auer (D) and William Long (R) teamed up to co-author a complex and lengthy legislative budget bill for the Indiana House Ways & Means Committee.
Immediately some Indiana Statehouse wags gleefully pointed out that it truly was the "Auer-Long" bill.

Making Choices

2010-01-09T07:31:00.001-05:00

A good ol' boy was in his boat fishing, when a voice said, "Pick me up!".
Looking around, he didn't see anyone.
He shrugged it off as a daydream, but then he heard the voice say again and louder, "Pick me up!".
This time, he looked down in the water and saw a frog.
Startled, he asked the frog, "Are you talking to me?".
The frog replied, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, kiss me, and I'll turn into a beautiful woman. All your friends will be envious and I will become your bride!".
The man looked at the frog and considered the proposal.
Then, he reached over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The indignant frog protested, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear me? Kiss me, and I will become your beautiful bride!".
Whereupon, the man opened his pocket, looked down at the frog, and told him, "I'd rather just have a talking frog.".

Barbara Ann & "The Beach Boys"

2010-01-05T03:30:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, I submitted an LDS Temple proxy ordinance request for Barbara Ann Kump.
Barbara is the daughter of my Dad's brother, Uncle Harold "Curly" Kump, and she grew up in the Los Angeles suburbs.
She was a California beauty pageant queen and dated Brian Wilson of "The Beach Boys". He wrote "Barbara Ann" while he was courting her.
Barb wasn't LDS, nor is the rest of her family.
She died suddenly and unexpectedly, after we visited together at a family reunion, over a year ago, and I was pleased to submit her Temple work today.

My New Lady Love (I'm so excited!)

2010-01-04T07:42:00.000-05:00

Recently, while I was out dining alone, there was this really gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.
Frankly, I had been checking her out since I first noticed her, but just couldn't find the nerve to introduce myself.
Suddenly, she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket, coming right at me.
In a reflex reaction, I grab it out of the air, and hand it back to her.
"Oh my , I am so sorry! ", she apologizes to me, as she pops her eye back into place.
She then offers to buy my dinner to make it up to me.
So, we enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards even go take in a movie together.
We talk, we laugh, and we share our deepest dreams with each other.
We had a wonderful, wonderful time.
I truly was amazed at how quickly we were so much in harmony.
I then confessed to her that she is the personification of the perfect woman, and asked her if she has this effect on all men.
"No", she replied...
"You just happened to catch my eye!"

Postscript: My friend Ward Clem asked me if apples were served during our meal, and if that is why she now is the "Apple of my eye"?

Keeping Warm on New Year's Day

2010-01-01T07:22:00.002-05:00

My heat here at home sputtered out around 2:00 A M this New Year's morning. but, fortunately, I have two alternative back up heating systems.
The folks who regularly refill my fuel tank somehow simply forgot to make the automatic fuel delivery, and I didn't notice until the heat went kaput.
I telephoned them a few minutes ago, and told their answering service that Monday morning would be soon enough to refill the tank.
My back-up home heating systems work just fine, and there's no need to roust out their delivery men during this holiday weekend.
Following LDS Church counsel on "Emergency Preparedness" really does pay off.

Best Wishes

2009-12-31T20:40:00.002-05:00

As a younger man and when friends would marry, other folks sometimes would give me a nudge and a wink, telling me "You're Next!".
Anxious to return their encouragement, I would tell them the same thing at funerals.

My Personal & Private Journal(s)

2009-12-28T07:42:00.005-05:00

I began keeping a hand-written personal journal on February 16th, 1971, simply because it was suggested by the Prophet, Seer, & Revelator (President) of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) that all of us do it.
Going back many years later to read earlier journal entries, it surprised me what I had since forgotten or misremembered.
Also, in later years, it amused (but did not surprise) me to learn in a management training class that personal journal keeping builds leadership skills, as it helps you to better plan and self-conceptualize.
Most of my journal entries usually are made right after my morning Scripture study and personal prayers, but often also at other opportune times.
Sometimes, I awaken in the middle of the night, get up, and make a journal entry about a pressing thought or dream.
When my home burned to the ground on October 31st, 1996, everything was destroyed, except my family history records and my journals.
There was a Providentially protected circle of unburned area around those documents, and also around a portrait of my paternal grandfather Edgar Kump and his sister Thelma, who had just passed away in March of that same year.
The proxy Temple ordinance work since then has been done for my Aunt Thelma, as well as for my other kindred dead.

Postscript: Click on "comments" at the bottom of this entry for further feedback from my Aunt Gertrude.

Puppies!

2009-12-26T17:18:00.000-05:00

The new two puppies at a friend's home now have names:
"Get Down off the Couch!" and "You, Too!".

Insurance Insecurities

2009-12-21T10:44:00.002-05:00

Setting aside (for the moment) increasing our taxes, expanding our federal debt, further endangering our fragile economy, increasing the cost of insurance to those who already have coverage, and making our health care system even worse; here is a big concern of mine about the mandatory health care behemoth that is perhaps soon to be enacted by Congress and signed into law by the President:

*The requirement that every American have health care insurance and the lack of their choice regarding the federally mandated "basic" health care coverage. Our working poor are called "the working poor" because that's exactly what they are - working, but poor. Many of them are eligible for employer subsidized health care insurance coverage through their employers now, but don't buy it because their portion of that insurance payment would have to come from their rent or from the grocery money that puts food in their children's mouths. Even with a generous federal subsidy, the requirement to purchase health insurance will break the financial backs of many of these desperate folks. I wonder how many in Congress truly understand what it's like to be poor in America.

Other issues which would greatly improve and reduce the cost of this pending health care mandate, but have been tossed aside in the legislative dumpster are:
*Allow the importation of cheaper health care drugs from Canada.
*Reform Medical Malpractice law.
*Allow health insurance coverage to compete across state lines.
*Remove health insurance companies' exemption from Anti-Trust Law.

The wag who pointed out that drunken congressmen are more irresponsible than drunken sailors hit upon a sober truth.

Confessions of a Malcontent

2009-12-05T08:31:00.000-05:00

Joe Queenan confesses that "...jackasses, pedants, buffoons, and charlatans have always been a clear and present danger to humanity, and that they are not merely a modern health hazard...Proving, once again, that there is nothing new under the sun. Especially if it involves morons.".
His book, "Malcontents", then goes on to celebrate those writers who were "masters of getting up peoples's noses", from Aristophanes to Oscar Wilde.
Queenan even makes a sideways reference to Machiavelli as the "Florentine Chuckle King". (Go figure.)
Particularly refreshing is Joe's meticulous rationale for his editorial opinions and selections: "I felt like it.".
It's comforting to know that I am not alone.

Irony ;)

2009-11-24T12:29:00.000-05:00

As discovered anew these past few days, lessons from irony can be both a marvelous work and a wonder.
The previous "Power & Liberty" entry was and is a statement of a Providential principle regarding not only our God given gift of liberty, but also of our need to respect and preserve others' freedom of choice.
It was sent out and shared with a host of my family, friends, associates, others of my faith, and various interest communities throughout the United States and elsewhere.
Put another way: To those who divined personal umbrage from that entry, what each of us see when we look in the mirror mostly is between us and the glass.

Power & Liberty

2009-11-22T12:11:00.003-05:00

I suppose that it is the innate nature of many, especially those who are in positions of authority (or who aspire to authority), to confuse the wielding of power with the preservation of liberty.
"...We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion..." - Joseph Smith.
(Reference Source: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Doctrine & Covenants, Section 121, Verse 39. Telephone 1-800-438-7557 or visit http://www.lds.org/ , click on "Gospel Library", and then click on "Scriptures" for more information.)

The Last Teardrop

2009-11-05T10:36:00.000-05:00

David & Sarah,
A great many years ago, the parting from your Mother almost destroyed me.
That loss was deeply intimate, and it seemed to me that it was the end of my world.
In the years that followed, there have been many other challenges and life lessons.
I discovered since then, over and over again throughout those years, that what I thought was the last teardrop wasn't even close to the end.
What I did learn is that the only thing that really matters and makes any difference is being true to yourself and what you know is true, getting up each time you stumble and doing the best you can with who you are.
Throughout all of this, I have been both fey and fortunate (blessed). God has reached out and lifted me up, over and over again, and He still continues to stretch out His arm to me.
Love,
Dad

The Neo-Lumpenproletariat

2009-10-31T08:38:00.001-04:00

There continues to be those who make unsupported and vicious allegations about "hatemongers", who they shrilly claim "spread misinformation, but also incredible lies".
Wouldn't the quality of our political understanding and discourse be so much better if folks of every political persuasion stopped accusing those with contrary views of being "evilmongers", thus fanning even more rabid hatred and intolerance?
Even better, wouldn't it truly be wonderful if folks read, viewed, and otherwise studied political discourse from sources other than just those that appealed to their personal political biases?
As just one example, a person who reads a wide spectrum of news source and political discourse magazines such as the "National Review" (Conservative), "Reason" (Libertarian), and "The Progressive" (Liberal) has a much richer understanding and appreciation of our nation's current events than anyone who becomes a victim of the Neo-Lumpenproletariat mindset.

Another "Field of Dreams"

2009-10-29T09:47:00.002-04:00

David,
As we discussed last night, a friend gave me a good tip about a much healthier pasta product for diabetics and also for those who want to reduce their carbohydrates.
It's the "Dreamfields" brand of pasta, which has a 65% lower glycemic index, five carbs, and five grams of fiber.
I picked up some at our local "Martins" supermarket, and it is within the same price range as other brands of pasta, and I really can't tell any difference in its taste.
More information on it is available at 1-800-250-1917 or by visiting http://www.dreamfieldsfoods.com/.
I still almost never eat pasta anymore (or anything else that tastes good), but this is a much better alternative than regular pasta, or, even worse, egg enriched pasta.
Love,
Dad

Important & True Stuff (that I didn't make up!)

2009-10-26T02:43:00.011-04:00

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs...if we had any eggs.
Beware the power of stupid people in large groups (Proverbs 13:20)
Choose your friends wisely, because you'll tend to be like them.
Don't ever get mad, except on purpose.
Expand the leadership.
You can't beat a plan with no plan.
Employees need unions to protect them from Management, but who protects employees from their unions? (Westbrook Pegler)
My soul standeth fast in the liberty in which God hath made us free.(Pahoran, 62 B.C. - Book of Mormon: Alma Chapter 61, Verse 9)
Don't treat good guys like you treat bad guys.
It's not over 'till it's over. (Yogi Berra)
Beware those who don't know which side of a duck has the most feathers. (Do you know? Ask me, and I'll enlighten you.)
Don't ever trust anyone until they have stuck with a good cause that was losing.
Nothing moves unless it's pushed. Even so, it's easier to pull a piece of string than to push it.
Don't issue orders, just lead.
Winners aren't perfect. They just keep on trying.
Do not go gently into that good night (Dylan Thomas)
Wopila Tanka! (Thank You, in the Dakota Tribe language)
One good reason is better than lots of little reasons.
The initiative goes to those who are best prepared.
When in trouble, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout! ;)
Always return and report.
Morality is a best source of power.
Ask God for help, listen to His counsel, then go out and do it!
The LDS Church's 14th Article of Faith (not really): We believe in meetings-all that now are scheduled. We believe that there yet will be many more great and important meetings. We have endured many meetings and hope to endure all meetings. If there is a meeting, we seek after it.
"There is not one among us in whom a devil does not dwell. At some time, on some point, that devil masters each of us. It is not having been in the dark house, but having left it that counts." (President Theodore Roosevelt)
Repentance is a lifetime process.
Never stop caring about the little guy. It's always all about him.
It's always time for a nap.
It really does take two: someone else & You!
Sans peur et sans reproche.
Nemo me impune lacesuit.
...and good night to you, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are. (Jimmy Durante)

"...through a glass darkly..." - A Cautionary Tale

2009-10-09T18:46:00.000-04:00

Previously, I was First Vice President of the Indiana State Employees Association (ISEA).
Up until that time, ISEA had been a very effective and independent state employee advocate, and had made great strides in gaining Raises, Leave, and Health Care Benefits; plus the elimination of the 2% Club (where employees were forced to make payroll deduction "contributions" to the political party in power).
Our Legal Team representing individual ISEA members in the workplace was top notch.
We were very active in one-on-one meetings at the local level with State Legislators, and were a real political player, especially when you consider that our membership was only around ten percent (10%) of all state employees.
It was about that time that we received affiliation overtures from AFSCME, AFT, UAW, CWA, IBEW, SEIU, NEA and others.
In the beginning, ISEA Board of Directors resisted these suitors, but, as time went on and we were all taken on wine-and-dine trips to Washington D.C. and other places, more and more of the Board members were won over (or bought out).
We decided to narrow it down and thoroughly investigate the choices between the American Federation of Teachers (AFT), the American Federation of State County & Municipal Employees (AFSCME), and staying independent.
AFT effectively sweet-talked almost the entire ISEA Board of Directors, basically on the promise from AFT that we would maintain our "autonomy" and be given major additional resources.
The ISEA President and I were the only two that realized that these promises were a travesty, and that, as soon as you turn over your membership list to an outside entity, your "autonomy" is gone.
At the ISEA annual convention where the AFT affiliation was to be voted on by our membership, rumor and smear campaigns were started against the President and myself. We ended up resigning from office, and the AFT lackeys took over ISEA.
Then the Indiana Governor forced a sweetheart "collective begging" system on us, which only allowed us to ratify being screwed by the Administration.
The International Unions were fat and happy with this arrangement, because they had their little "exclusive bargaining" units.
Nevermind little details like lobbying the Legislature or pursuing "real" collective bargaining.
Thereafter, there was year after year of wage freezes or 1-2% of tiny cost of living raises, and a total end to "merit" (longevity) raises, along with reductions in other benefits and staffing.
All of this was dutifully ratified by the "unions".
These same Unions also abandoned efforts to gain more meaningful collective bargaining through the Legislature .... something that might have actually given us some permanent rights ... in a time in history where they might have actually been able to accomplish this.
In conclusion, I list the following "truths" (according to me):

1.If you affiliate with an International Union, there's no such thing as independence or autonomy.
2.The International Unions are more interested in whatever benefits THEM, not YOU.
3.No matter which way you go, you can only rely on YOURSELVES to do the real work.
4.No matter how much money an International Union promises, this will soon end after you affiliate.
5.Collective Bargaining (without meaningful employee rights) isn't.

Roger McNeill in Indiana

P.S.: After ISEA's affiliation, the Indiana State Employees' Appeal Commission (SEAC) was abolished, and our state employees lost access to an employee complaint procedure. We now are considered "Employees at Will" and have no job protection.

To Affiliate or not to Affiliate? That is the MCEA Question!

2009-10-09T17:48:00.000-04:00

Sent to MCEA Leaders:
Having been an inside eyewitness to an international union affiliation question conundrum when I was Executive Director of the formerly independent Indiana State Employees Association (ISEA), please allow me to share two major concerns with which Maryland Classified Employees Association (MCEA) leaders and members should grapple on this same issue.
Obviously, any affiliation agreement document should include crystal clear protections for MCEA's independent self-determination.
However, of even more critical importance is the integrity, behavior, and attitude of the prospective affiliation organization.
In any agreement, specific contract language is important.
Nevertheless, it is the behavior, attitude, and integrity of the contractual parties that is the decisive determining factor for a successful and equal partnership.
This isn't a kid's game of bean bag.
The stakes are high, and it would be foolish to expect MCEA's supplicants for affiliation to be anything less than completely determined and machiavellian in their pursuit of bending MCEA's leadership to their own purposes and taking over MCEA's state employee dues deduction privileges.
After all, the allegiance and obligation of MCEA's suitors are to their union employers and not to MCEA's independent membership or Maryland's public and retired public employees.
Cajoling campaign promises and fawning flattery are one thing.
The behavior afterwards of a successful suitor is yet another thing.
Keep in mind that the MCEA President already has appointed an affiliation committee, and "as of this date, several meetings have taken place with different unions" (Source: MCEA President's Report to MCEA's October 12th & 13th Convention Delegates).
For more background on the ISEA affiliation experience in Indiana and an independent perspective on what happened, ask Roger McNeill.
Roger was ISEA Vice President at the time of their affiliation and still is an Indiana state employee.
You may e-mail him at Mcneillbld@aol.com.
Yours for job justice and workplace liberty,
Larry D. Kump

Adieu Larry

2009-10-09T11:15:00.000-04:00

The death of Larry LaPrise, who died peacefully at age 93, previously escaped the attention of most of the world.
Larry wrote "The Hokey Pokey".
The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the casket.
They put his left leg in, and then the trouble started....

The Feast (a Letter to my Children)

2009-10-03T14:38:00.003-04:00

Dear David & Sarah,
It always has been a struggle for me to partake of spiritual feasts.
Even so, when I seek after this bounty, it never fails to fill me with both gratitude and growth.
My Dish Satellite Television Network brings some of these feasts directly to me in the comfort of my home, through the semi-annual Worldwide General Conference broadcasts of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church), courtesy of BYU-TV.
And so it was today that I was grateful to watch the first broadcast today from 12:00 Noon - 2:00 PM (Eastern local time), and will watch an additional broadcast today from 4:00 - 6:00 PM, and two more tomorrow from 12:00 Noon- 2:00 PM and 4:00 PM - 6:00 PM.
Then later tonight, I will go to our local LDS Chapel for the General Conference Priesthood broadcast from 8:00 PM - 10:00 PM.
From experience, what works best for me to prepare for these special broadcasts is to pray beforehand that my heart and mind be prepared to receive inspired guidance on what will be most helpful for my personal growth and development.
Sure enough today, the first session of conference (just concluded) brought forth my tears of gratitude for the Atonement of Jesus Christ and His restored gospel, as well as specific personal guidance for me.
One Apostle today taught us more about how our "consistency" in righteous efforts and habits will create eternal "brushstrokes on the canvas of our souls".
It already has been my experience that consistent and sincere scripture study and personal prayer has brought the blessings of Heaven into my life, so much so that I scarce can receive it all.
I also have learned that consistency in participating in my church meetings further deepens my capacity to receive these blessings.
As pointed out today by yet another Apostle, none of us have to be perfect. All we have to do is sincerely "try" to be better.
The best part of me is my testimony of Jesus Christ and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which the Savior literally leads on our behalf, to bless us and all the world..
Love,
Dad

Sunday, October 5th Postscript:
In the first session of our LDS Worldwide General Conference this afternoon, yet another Apostle reminded me of my need to more diligently apply an enduring article of our LDS faith in my life...
13th Article of Faith
We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul - We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

Note to Friends who read this blog entry: For more information about the purpose of life, the true nature of God, if families can be together forever, where we go after this life, and answers to other eternally significant questions - visit http://www.mormon.org/ or call toll-free 1-800-438-7557.

The 14th Article of Faith (of the LDS Church?)

2009-10-03T11:17:00.000-04:00

We believe in meetings-all that have been scheduled, all that now are scheduled, and we believe that there yet will be many more great and important meetings. We have endured many meetings and hope to be able to endure all meetings. If there is a meeting, we seek after it.

Postscript: For those fellow Saints who are having a spiritual hissy-fit about the above, and also for those who just don't know any better....lighten up! (That's right, it's just hyperbole.)

A Great Exercise Program - It Worked for Me!

2009-10-01T01:23:00.000-04:00

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room on each side.
With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.
Try to do this for at least a full minute, and then relax.
Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for a little bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks.
Then try 50-lb. potato sacks, and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.
(I'm at this level)
After you gain strength and confidence at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

And a Little Child Shall Lead Them

2009-09-29T11:41:00.000-04:00

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "

Card Tricks

2009-09-29T02:33:00.000-04:00

Our nation's addiction to ponying up money we don't have (deficit spending) reminds me of the family who makes their mortgage payments with their Master Card, and then uses their VISA card to make their Master Card payments.

Foretold by Malachi (Chapter 4, Verses 5 & 6)

2009-09-24T18:46:00.005-04:00

David & Sarah,
As you already know, our Campbell and Henry family lineage (through your Great Great Grandfather Montford Guyon Seylar, your Great Grandmother Rhoda Leona Seylar Kump's Dad) goes back to the patriot Patrick Henry, but it goes back still even further than that.
Today, I completed more LDS Temple submissions on "Ma-Maw" Kump's family line, back through Scot and Irish Kings, and which includes Henry I of England.
That portion of our family genealogy now has been completed back to the First Century A.D., and the work continues on it as well as the other branches of our family tree, all of which has been posted at http://www.familysearch.org/.
The Spirit of Elijah continues to inspire marvelous works and wonders.
Love
Dad

From "The Sword of the Lady" by S.M. Sterling

2009-09-22T11:00:00.000-04:00

"...unless a man be tested to the utmost, none may know what hidden weakness lies in him, nor may he know his own...Devils seek to rule men, the Gods give us opportunities to rule ourselves, which may be infinitely more difficult, and to assist each other...which is harder still..."

The Sting

2009-09-17T15:55:00.002-04:00

Earlier this afternoon, while attempting to clear brush from near the fruit trees on the far side of my home, I disturbed a nasty and noxious nest of bees.
They were not amused.
I was badly stung, close to a dozen times.
These tiny terrorists even got under my clothes.
I also was not amused.

911 Memories

2009-09-11T11:54:00.002-04:00

September 11, 2001 was on a Tuesday, and I had called in to take an unscheduled vacation day from my job as a prison case manager at Roxbury Correctional Institution in Hagerstown, MD.
Very early that morning, I had awakened with a strong need to go serve in the Washington D.C. Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).
Inside those sacred walls that morning, there was no hint of the outside chaos that soon began to unfold.
When I left the Temple, one of the groundskeepers approached me, and said, with a deathly pale expression, "We just have been bombed!"
Numbly, I nodded and continued on to my car in the parking lot, wondering what have caused his trauma and if he just was the victim of some scurrilous rumor.
To my chagrin and utter dismay, the truth of this tragedy soon began clear to me when I turned on my car radio.
I'll never forget the ongoing panic and mass hysteria that day in our nation's capitol.
It felt almost was as if I was in a third world banana republic, in the midst of a coup de'etat.
That day is forever burned in my memory.
I hope and pray that I never forget that awful day and the blessings of liberty that we all take so much for granted.

Lest We Forget (an Important Law)

2009-09-10T10:55:00.000-04:00

Obey gravity.
It's the law.

Better than "Hallmark" (and just for you)

2009-09-08T03:29:00.000-04:00

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire,
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it.
She moved in with me.

Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder.
"What the heck was I thinking?"

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you,
I've changed my mind.

You brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go.,
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.