Here Are Your Assignments

Ignore the first five people who say "good morning" to you.
Phone a stranger and say, " I can't talk right now. Bye!"
Shout random numbers while someone is counting
Walk into a very busy person's office and, while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off at least ten times.
For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob." The tell them that Bob's your uncle.
Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."
In a meeting or crowd, slap your forehead repeatedly and say, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"
Repeat the following conversation ten times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now!"
During a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, then move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"

The Last Teardrop

David & Sarah,
A great many years ago, the parting from your Mother almost destroyed me.
That loss was deeply intimate, and it seemed to me that it was the end of my world.
In the years that followed, there have been many other challenges and life lessons.
I discovered since then, over and over again throughout those years, that what I thought was the last teardrop wasn't even close to the end.
What I did learn is that the only thing that really matters and makes any difference is being true to yourself and what you know is true, getting up each time you stumble and doing the best you can with who you are.
Throughout all of this, I have been both fey and fortunate (blessed). God has reached out and lifted me up, over and over again, and He still continues to stretch out His arm to me.
Love,
Dad

Cinderella & The Civil War

From: Larry D. Kump
Subject: To Ward Clem, whose inquiring mind wants to know more Date: Sunday, November 1, 2009, 10:12 PM
Ward,
The info you seek is available from Gary Gimbel (304-263-7242 or ggimbel@citlink.net)
The Falling Waters Battlefield Association website is http://www.battleoffallingwaters.com/
Larry
--------------------------------------------------------------
Larry, could you provide me directions to the waterfall? It's always been a mystery to me regarding where the falls are. Also could you provide me directions to the other stops on your itinerary? Karen and I would like to explore further. Much appreciated. Ward

--------------------------------------------------------------

On Sun, 11/1/09, Larry D. Kump wrote:

Subject: Thank You
Date: Sunday, November 1, 2009, 5:40 PM
Dear Library Pals,
Yesterday afternoon's well attended events and all who participated in the Spring Mills (WV) Library Branch "Grand Opening & Open House" was well worth my time and interest.
It deeply touched my heart to see the absolute delight in the rapt faces of the little children when they met "Cinderella".
(Jaime did so much of a better job as "Cinderella" than I ever could have attempted as "Cinderfella".)
Those special memories no doubt will linger with those little folks throughout the rest of their lives.
However, Gary Gimbel's interactive presentation about the 1861 Civil War "Battle of Falling Waters" was the event that brought me to the Library that day, and I was not in the least bit disappointed.
In point of fact, on my way to the local LDS Church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) services in Spring Mills this Sunday morning, Gary's symposium yesterday prompted me to stop at the "Falling Waters" waterfall, which is bigger and better than I previously remembered.
(The State Of West Virginia owns the property surrounding that waterfall. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a "pocket-sized" state park and a picnic table or two at that location?)
In any event, continuing to drive South on Route 11 to take another look at the home place of Davy Crockett's grandparents, I then traveled another short distance to the monument of General (then a Colonel) "Stonewall" Jackson.
After our LDS Church services, I then went to the nearby "Stumpy's Hollow", to take another gander at the place where Colonel J.E.B. Stuart single-handedly captured a company of Union soldiers.
Thanks to all of you for all of that.

Larry

cc: Other Members of the Posse Comitatus

The Neo-Lumpenproletariat

There continues to be those who make unsupported and vicious allegations about "hatemongers", who they shrilly claim "spread misinformation, but also incredible lies".
Wouldn't the quality of our political understanding and discourse be so much better if folks of every political persuasion stopped accusing those with contrary views of being "evilmongers", thus fanning even more rabid hatred and intolerance?
Even better, wouldn't it truly be wonderful if folks read, viewed, and otherwise studied political discourse from sources other than just those that appealed to their personal political biases?
As just one example, a person who reads a wide spectrum of news source and political discourse magazines such as the "National Review" (Conservative), "Reason" (Libertarian), and "The Progressive" (Liberal) has a much richer understanding and appreciation of our nation's current events than anyone who becomes a victim of the Neo-Lumpenproletariat mindset.

Another "Field of Dreams"

David,
As we discussed last night, a friend gave me a good tip about a much healthier pasta product for diabetics and also for those who want to reduce their carbohydrates.
It's the "Dreamfields" brand of pasta, which has a 65% lower glycemic index, five carbs, and five grams of fiber.
I picked up some at our local "Martins" supermarket, and it is within the same price range as other brands of pasta, and I really can't tell any difference in its taste.
More information on it is available at 1-800-250-1917 or by visiting http://www.dreamfieldsfoods.com/.
I still almost never eat pasta anymore (or anything else that tastes good), but this is a much better alternative than regular pasta, or, even worse, egg enriched pasta.
Love,
Dad

Important & True Stuff (that I didn't make up!)

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs...if we had any eggs.
Beware the power of stupid people in large groups (Proverbs 13:20)
Choose your friends wisely, because you'll tend to be like them.
Don't ever get mad, except on purpose.
Expand the leadership.
You can't beat a plan with no plan.
Employees need unions to protect them from Management, but who protects employees from their unions? (Westbrook Pegler)
My soul standeth fast in the liberty in which God hath made us free.(Pahoran, 62 B.C. - Book of Mormon: Alma Chapter 61, Verse 9)
Don't treat good guys like you treat bad guys.
It's not over 'till it's over. (Yogi Berra)
Beware those who don't know which side of a duck has the most feathers. (Do you know? Ask me, and I'll enlighten you.)
Don't ever trust anyone until they have stuck with a good cause that was losing.
Nothing moves unless it's pushed. Even so, it's easier to pull a piece of string than to push it.
Don't issue orders, just lead.
Winners aren't perfect. They just keep on trying.
Do not go gently into that good night (Dylan Thomas)
Wopila Tanka! (Thank You, in the Dakota Tribe language)
One good reason is better than lots of little reasons.
The initiative goes to those who are best prepared.
When in trouble, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout! ;)
Always return and report.
Morality is a best source of power.
Ask God for help, listen to His counsel, then go out and do it!
The LDS Church's 14th Article of Faith (not really): We believe in meetings-all that now are scheduled. We believe that there yet will be many more great and important meetings. We have endured many meetings and hope to endure all meetings. If there is a meeting, we seek after it.
"There is not one among us in whom a devil does not dwell. At some time, on some point, that devil masters each of us. It is not having been in the dark house, but having left it that counts." (President Theodore Roosevelt)
Repentance is a lifetime process.
Never stop caring about the little guy. It's always all about him.
It's always time for a nap.
It really does take two: someone else & You!
Sans peur et sans reproche.
Nemo me impune lacesuit.
...and good night to you, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are. (Jimmy Durante)

"...through a glass darkly..." - A Cautionary Tale

Previously, I was First Vice President of the Indiana State Employees Association (ISEA).
Up until that time, ISEA had been a very effective and independent state employee advocate, and had made great strides in gaining Raises, Leave, and Health Care Benefits; plus the elimination of the 2% Club (where employees were forced to make payroll deduction "contributions" to the political party in power).
Our Legal Team representing individual ISEA members in the workplace was top notch.
We were very active in one-on-one meetings at the local level with State Legislators, and were a real political player, especially when you consider that our membership was only around ten percent (10%) of all state employees.
It was about that time that we received affiliation overtures from AFSCME, AFT, UAW, CWA, IBEW, SEIU, NEA and others.
In the beginning, ISEA Board of Directors resisted these suitors, but, as time went on and we were all taken on wine-and-dine trips to Washington D.C. and other places, more and more of the Board members were won over (or bought out).
We decided to narrow it down and thoroughly investigate the choices between the American Federation of Teachers (AFT), the American Federation of State County & Municipal Employees (AFSCME), and staying independent.
AFT effectively sweet-talked almost the entire ISEA Board of Directors, basically on the promise from AFT that we would maintain our "autonomy" and be given major additional resources.
The ISEA President and I were the only two that realized that these promises were a travesty, and that, as soon as you turn over your membership list to an outside entity, your "autonomy" is gone.
At the ISEA annual convention where the AFT affiliation was to be voted on by our membership, rumor and smear campaigns were started against the President and myself. We ended up resigning from office, and the AFT lackeys took over ISEA.
Then the Indiana Governor forced a sweetheart "collective begging" system on us, which only allowed us to ratify being screwed by the Administration.
The International Unions were fat and happy with this arrangement, because they had their little "exclusive bargaining" units.
Nevermind little details like lobbying the Legislature or pursuing "real" collective bargaining.
Thereafter, there was year after year of wage freezes or 1-2% of tiny cost of living raises, and a total end to "merit" (longevity) raises, along with reductions in other benefits and staffing.
All of this was dutifully ratified by the "unions".
These same Unions also abandoned efforts to gain more meaningful collective bargaining through the Legislature .... something that might have actually given us some permanent rights ... in a time in history where they might have actually been able to accomplish this.
In conclusion, I list the following "truths" (according to me):

1.If you affiliate with an International Union, there's no such thing as independence or autonomy.
2.The International Unions are more interested in whatever benefits THEM, not YOU.
3.No matter which way you go, you can only rely on YOURSELVES to do the real work.
4.No matter how much money an International Union promises, this will soon end after you affiliate.
5.Collective Bargaining (without meaningful employee rights) isn't.

Roger McNeill in Indiana

P.S.: After ISEA's affiliation, the Indiana State Employees' Appeal Commission (SEAC) was abolished, and our state employees lost access to an employee complaint procedure. We now are considered "Employees at Will" and have no job protection.

To Affiliate or not to Affiliate? That is the MCEA Question!

Sent to MCEA Leaders:
Having been an inside eyewitness to an international union affiliation question conundrum when I was Executive Director of the formerly independent Indiana State Employees Association (ISEA), please allow me to share two major concerns with which Maryland Classified Employees Association (MCEA) leaders and members should grapple on this same issue.
Obviously, any affiliation agreement document should include crystal clear protections for MCEA's independent self-determination.
However, of even more critical importance is the integrity, behavior, and attitude of the prospective affiliation organization.
In any agreement, specific contract language is important.
Nevertheless, it is the behavior, attitude, and integrity of the contractual parties that is the decisive determining factor for a successful and equal partnership.
This isn't a kid's game of bean bag.
The stakes are high, and it would be foolish to expect MCEA's supplicants for affiliation to be anything less than completely determined and machiavellian in their pursuit of bending MCEA's leadership to their own purposes and taking over MCEA's state employee dues deduction privileges.
After all, the allegiance and obligation of MCEA's suitors are to their union employers and not to MCEA's independent membership or Maryland's public and retired public employees.
Cajoling campaign promises and fawning flattery are one thing.
The behavior afterwards of a successful suitor is yet another thing.
Keep in mind that the MCEA President already has appointed an affiliation committee, and "as of this date, several meetings have taken place with different unions" (Source: MCEA President's Report to MCEA's October 12th & 13th Convention Delegates).
For more background on the ISEA affiliation experience in Indiana and an independent perspective on what happened, ask Roger McNeill.
Roger was ISEA Vice President at the time of their affiliation and still is an Indiana state employee.
You may e-mail him at Mcneillbld@aol.com.
Yours for job justice and workplace liberty,
Larry D. Kump

Adieu Larry

The death of Larry LaPrise, who died peacefully at age 93, previously escaped the attention of most of the world.
Larry wrote "The Hokey Pokey".
The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the casket.
They put his left leg in, and then the trouble started....

The Feast (a Letter to my Children)

Dear David & Sarah,
It always has been a struggle for me to partake of spiritual feasts.
Even so, when I seek after this bounty, it never fails to fill me with both gratitude and growth.
My Dish Satellite Television Network brings some of these feasts directly to me in the comfort of my home, through the semi-annual Worldwide General Conference broadcasts of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church), courtesy of BYU-TV.
And so it was today that I was grateful to watch the first broadcast today from 12:00 Noon - 2:00 PM (Eastern local time), and will watch an additional broadcast today from 4:00 - 6:00 PM, and two more tomorrow from 12:00 Noon- 2:00 PM and 4:00 PM - 6:00 PM.
Then later tonight, I will go to our local LDS Chapel for the General Conference Priesthood broadcast from 8:00 PM - 10:00 PM.
From experience, what works best for me to prepare for these special broadcasts is to pray beforehand that my heart and mind be prepared to receive inspired guidance on what will be most helpful for my personal growth and development.
Sure enough today, the first session of conference (just concluded) brought forth my tears of gratitude for the Atonement of Jesus Christ and His restored gospel, as well as specific personal guidance for me.
One Apostle today taught us more about how our "consistency" in righteous efforts and habits will create eternal "brushstrokes on the canvas of our souls".
It already has been my experience that consistent and sincere scripture study and personal prayer has brought the blessings of Heaven into my life, so much so that I scarce can receive it all.
I also have learned that consistency in participating in my church meetings further deepens my capacity to receive these blessings.
As pointed out today by yet another Apostle, none of us have to be perfect. All we have to do is sincerely "try" to be better.
The best part of me is my testimony of Jesus Christ and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which the Savior literally leads on our behalf, to bless us and all the world..
Love,
Dad

Sunday, October 5th Postscript:
In the first session of our LDS Worldwide General Conference this afternoon, yet another Apostle reminded me of my need to more diligently apply an enduring article of our LDS faith in my life...
13th Article of Faith
We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul - We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

Note to Friends who read this blog entry: For more information about the purpose of life, the true nature of God, if families can be together forever, where we go after this life, and answers to other eternally significant questions - visit http://www.mormon.org/ or call toll-free 1-800-438-7557.

The 14th Article of Faith (of the LDS Church?)

We believe in meetings-all that have been scheduled, all that now are scheduled, and we believe that there yet will be many more great and important meetings. We have endured many meetings and hope to be able to endure all meetings. If there is a meeting, we seek after it.

Postscript: For those fellow Saints who are having a spiritual hissy-fit about the above, and also for those who just don't know any better....lighten up! (That's right, it's just hyperbole.)

A Great Exercise Program - It Worked for Me!

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room on each side.
With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.
Try to do this for at least a full minute, and then relax.
Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for a little bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks.
Then try 50-lb. potato sacks, and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.
(I'm at this level)
After you gain strength and confidence at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

And a Little Child Shall Lead Them

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "

Card Tricks

Our nation's addiction to ponying up money we don't have (deficit spending) reminds me of the family who makes their mortgage payments with their Master Card, and then uses their VISA card to make their Master Card payments.

Foretold by Malachi (Chapter 4, Verses 5 & 6)

David & Sarah,
As you already know, our Campbell and Henry family lineage (through your Great Great Grandfather Montford Guyon Seylar, your Great Grandmother Rhoda Leona Seylar Kump's Dad) goes back to the patriot Patrick Henry, but it goes back still even further than that.
Today, I completed more LDS Temple submissions on "Ma-Maw" Kump's family line, back through Scot and Irish Kings, and which includes Henry I of England.
That portion of our family genealogy now has been completed back to the First Century A.D., and the work continues on it as well as the other branches of our family tree, all of which has been posted at http://www.familysearch.org/.
The Spirit of Elijah continues to inspire marvelous works and wonders.
Love
Dad

From "The Sword of the Lady" by S.M. Sterling

"...unless a man be tested to the utmost, none may know what hidden weakness lies in him, nor may he know his own...Devils seek to rule men, the Gods give us opportunities to rule ourselves, which may be infinitely more difficult, and to assist each other...which is harder still..."

The Sting

Earlier this afternoon, while attempting to clear brush from near the fruit trees on the far side of my home, I disturbed a nasty and noxious nest of bees.
They were not amused.
I was badly stung, close to a dozen times.
These tiny terrorists even got under my clothes.
I also was not amused.

911 Memories

September 11, 2001 was on a Tuesday, and I had called in to take an unscheduled vacation day from my job as a prison case manager at Roxbury Correctional Institution in Hagerstown, MD.
Very early that morning, I had awakened with a strong need to go serve in the Washington D.C. Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).
Inside those sacred walls that morning, there was no hint of the outside chaos that soon began to unfold.
When I left the Temple, one of the groundskeepers approached me, and said, with a deathly pale expression, "We just have been bombed!"
Numbly, I nodded and continued on to my car in the parking lot, wondering what have caused his trauma and if he just was the victim of some scurrilous rumor.
To my chagrin and utter dismay, the truth of this tragedy soon began clear to me when I turned on my car radio.
I'll never forget the ongoing panic and mass hysteria that day in our nation's capitol.
It felt almost was as if I was in a third world banana republic, in the midst of a coup de'etat.
That day is forever burned in my memory.
I hope and pray that I never forget that awful day and the blessings of liberty that we all take so much for granted.

Lest We Forget (an Important Law)

Obey gravity.
It's the law.

Better than "Hallmark" (and just for you)

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire,
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it.
She moved in with me.

Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder.
"What the heck was I thinking?"

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you,
I've changed my mind.

You brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go.,
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

To My Children

Dear Sarah & David,
Throughout my adult life, much of my time each day has been spent in personal prayer.
Some of it has been on my knees in a more formal mode, but most of it throughout the day is in almost constant whispered and sometimes even subvocal conversations with Our Father in Heaven.
And so it is that, over the years, I have learned to more fully recognize the gentle whisperings of the Holy Ghost, which are easiest for me to hear and heed when I am quiet and calm.
Accordingly, this morning, as I was studying the most recent words of the Prophets (Scripture), the prompting strongly came to me to share these thoughts with both of you.
Of all the people in my life, you two have been the most intense and constant focus of my prayers, on behalf of your personal welfare and happiness.
Perhaps mostly unbeknownst to you, it has been gratifying for me to see the hand of God and His ministering angels active in watching over you and removing some of the worst stumbling blocks from your paths, while also allowing you to experience and grow from the consequences of your choices.
In my living room hangs a reproduction of my favorite painting.
It is of a little boy, dressed in a Superman outfit and holding the hand of his Dad as they stroll down the sidewalk.
The caption reads, "Even Superman Needs a Dad".
It is the same with us and Our Father in Heaven.
With all my heart, thank you for allowing me to be your earthly Dad.
Love,
Dad

At the Zoo

A coworker previously shared a rather long article with me on "The Corporate Monkey", which is a rather long read, but part of it struck a chord with me that also may resonate with you:

"...I feel like a monkey at a zoo.We monkeys interact. Sometimes we groom each other (like real monkeys do) by helping each other. That is nice. It feels good, and is enjoyable.Other times we throw @#$!! at one another (like real monkeys do).This is not fun, and unfortunately happens far too often.
...unless you change the mind and the heart of the monkey, there is no chance to change the zoo."

"Dear David and Sarah" (published in the 12/01 "Ensign")

(excerpted from the December, 2001 "Ensign" magazine)
As a divorced Dad, I worried about my two young children-David and Sarah-who lived more than 500 miles away in Hanover, Pennsylvania, from me in Indianapolis, Indiana, and without the Gospel in their home.
I talked with my Bishop, and he suggested that I use my Family Home Evening time each week to write a personal letter to each of my children.
He promised me that faithfulness in this labor of love would provide the key to answering my prayers for my children's well-being and lead them to baptism
I was skeptical, but agreed to follow his counsel.
Years passed, and I continued to write each week, and also to visit them as frequently as possible.
Unfortunately, my children seemed to be moving further and further away from the Gospel.
It was discouraging.
Nonetheless, after David and Sarah became young adults, both of them chose to be baptized-one in Fort Knox, Kentucky at a military installation, and the other a few years later in Martinsburg, West Virginia.
It was a marvelous work and a wonder to me that they gave me the honor of participating in their baptisms.
Excercising faith in the promises of the Lord's chosen representative provided the means to bring forth this blessing on behalf of my children.

-Larry D. Kump
Hedgesvile, West Virginia Ward
Martinsburg, West Virginia Stake

An Ice Cream Civics Lesson

The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever learned was while teaching the third grade.
The Presidential election was heating up, and some of the children showed an interest.
I decided that having an election for a class president would be a good teaching tool.
The students would choose the nominees.
The nominees would make a campaign speech, and the class would vote.
There were many nominations, and Jamie and Olivia were picked as finalists by the class.
Both candidates were good kids.
I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he had lots of support from his parents.
I had never seen either of Olivia's parents.
The day arrived for the candidates to make their speeches.
Jamie went first.
He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place, and ended by promising to do his very best.
Everyone applauded and he sat down.
Then Olivia spoke.
Her speech was concise.
She said, "If you will vote for me, I will give everybody ice cream."
She sat down.
The class went wild, screaming, "Yes! Yes! We want ice cream!".
She didn't say anything more.
She didn't have to.
A discussion followed.
How did she plan to pay for the ice cream?
Olivia didn't know.
Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it?
Olivia didn't know.
The class really didn't care.
They just wanted ice cream.
Jamie was forgotten.
Olivia won by a landslide.
Elections are like that.

-Contributed anonymously by a Grade School Teacher

The Miracle of the "David" Tree

(Originally posted 11/27/04)
Far too often, the challenges and heartaches in our lives distract us from that which should be most sacred and special in our focus and priorities.
And so it was for me, when on the morning of September 7th, 2002,
yet another powerful reminder of God's infinite love and power was given to me.
My experience begins when I was a young father and husband, and we lived in Cumberland, Maryland.
In the backyard of our home at 810 Shriver Avenue was a huge and fruitful old "Granny" apple tree.
Early each Spring, it was covered with blossoms, and it thereafter faithfully bore basket upon basket of fruit, so much so that we had trouble putting all of it to good use, or even finding those with whom to share this bounty.
David, my adopted three year old son, loved to climb up into that tree, and I began to call it the "David" tree.
Years passed.
We moved to Indianapolis, Indiana, in the Fall of 1978, and then moved again shortly thereafter, when Carolyn divorced me and our family fell asunder.
By 2002, David had grown into a strapping 28 year old man, with a home of his own, but the "David" tree remained a precious memory of mine.
And so, in honor of that sweet memory, I had planted another "David" Granny apple tree in the side yard of my home in Falling Waters, West Virginia.
Unfortunately the Summer drought of 2002 took its toll, and the tree soon lost its foliage and died.
Then, in early September of that year, my contractor friend, Jesse Schissler III, was working on an addition to my home, and, knowing my attachment to the now forlorn and lifeless tree, offered to transplant it from the site of the addition and away from the construction work to a large plastic tub on my front porch.
Even though I knew the tree was dead, I agreed, if only to help preserve a keepsake of it.
Still, it looked so pathetic and defeated.
Each passing day, as I came and went to and from home, that dried up little skeleton of a tree caught my attention.
Then, one early morning, just before Dawn, as I was preparing to leave for work at the prison, I felt prompted to knell beside it and pray for its restoration, even going so far as to lay my hands on it's brittle branches, and, by the power and authority of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood, invoking blessings from Heaven upon it.
It only was a few days thereafter, on the morning of Saturday, September 7th, 2002, that I noticed that it was covered in new green sprouts, followed shortly thereafter with a profusion of apple blossoms.
My feelings about all of this is hard to put into words, but perhaps my favorite poem by Lord Alfred Tennyson best sums up the lesson God taught me through this tree about how we never should give up or lose faith in His promises to us (Isaiah 40:31):
"Fragment"
Flower in the crannied wall,
I pluck you out of the crannies.
I hold you here, root and all, in my hand.
Little flower - but if I could understand
What you are, root and all, and all in all,
I should know what God and man is.

"Get Over Yourself"

The "Doctrine & Covenants" of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Section 136, Verse 29) will teach you how to "Get Over Yourself".
To obtain a copy for you and yours, just telephone (toll-free) 1-800-438-7557 and tell the folks who answer your call that you want to learn how "D&C Section 136, Verse 29" will help you "Get Over Yourself".
You're Welcome.

The Kump Family Castle in Austria

Here are some links to web pages and photos of Schloss Matzen in Austria, and owned by the Kump family:

Overview. Lots of pictures inside and out.

Another majestic photo.

More history.

Schloss Matzen: One of Europe's most romantic medieval castles, lies high in the Austrian Tyrol, where the air is crisp and clean.
The location is Reith im Alpbachtal, in the Tyrolean Alps of western Austria, approximately 30 miles/50 km northeast of Innsbruck, about a 90 minute drive or train from Munich or Salzburg (it is less than 5 minutes drive from the nearest train station and Autobahn exit).
The castle was first referred to in 1167 and has been privately owned ever since. It's history includes highlights such as its Baroque chapel being twice consecrated by bishops who would go on to become Pope, Teddy Roosevelt visiting as a hunting companion of the former owner at the turn of the last century, etc.
The size of the building is approx. 20,000 square feet, including the 6 story tower, on a 2.4 hectare (approx. 6 acre) lot, half-surrounded by an Austrian nationally-protected public park. There are approximately 60 rooms, depending on how you count rooms (there are several long, arcade passageways), including 12 guest rooms appointed with antique furnishing and private bathrooms with modern heating, plumbing and electricity. It is connected to the local sewer system and has its own private spring water supply.

Best Buddies (originally posted in 2003)

Re: the swimming pool photograph...

Let me tell you about that man with me in the swimming pool.

I was raised in a prominent local church in Hagerstown, Maryland; mostly at the insistence of my Mother.

At age 12 I already was disturbed and troubled about the purpose of life.

My Sunday School teachers couldn't answer my questions, and my several attempts to read the Bible left me even more confused and frustrated (It probably didn't help that I began with the Old Testament).

I even made later inquiries into non-Christian religions and philosophies, which intrigued but still dissatisfied me.

Finally, at the tender age of 14, I came to the reluctant conclusion that either God really didn't exist, or, if He did, He just wasn't interested in or accessible to me.

I wavered between agnosticism and outright atheism.

It was at that time in my life that I became both mystified and amused by my new next door neighbor and best friend Ray Geyer, who only was 12 at the time.

He was enthusiastic about his recent ordination as an Aaronic Priesthood Deacon in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church), and anxious to share the Gospel with me.

After many discussions and arguments with Ray, I reluctantly sat down with two LDS Missionary Elders, and challenged them with my questions.

To my surprise and chagrin, Elder Wayne Platt Smith's humble spirit immediately touched my heart.

Even more surprising to me, he was able to readily answer all my questions that had stumped all the learned and experienced ministers from so many other faiths.

Elder Smith warned me that neither he nor anyone else could convert me to Christ, and this was something that I had to wrest for myself.

He also encouraged me to continue to meet with my parents' pastor and others, so that I could better sort out truth from fable for myself, and not be led astray.

And so it was that I began to read the Book of Mormon to find out for myself if all of this really could be true.

Subsequently and after reading the Book of Mormon and also the Bible (cover to cover), and alone in my parents' home one hot Summer afternoon, I confessed to God that I still had serious doubts about Him, but nevertheless asked Him to tell me if He was real and if the Book of Mormon was true.

The answer which came to me was both surprising, satisfying, and immediate.

Continued personal prayer and reading the Book of Mormon then further opened the way for me to read the Bible with new understanding and appreciation.

One of my favorite Book of Mormon passages is 2 Nephi 28: 29 and 29:3-13.

My parents were not supportive of my newfound faith, and refused to give me permission to join the LDS Church.

However, when I reached age 21, I was able to choose for myself and was at long last baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

As an adoptive and divorced parent, more than twice recovered cancer victim, and one who has been through my share of personal trials, I promise you, in the name of Jesus Christ, that the Book of Mormon is the most correct of any book on Earth and contains the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ (in tandem with the Holy Bible) as well as the answer to your heartfelt prayers.

All I am or ever hope to be I owe to the Book of Mormon and a childhood friend who took the time to lead me to the truth.

So, this is my response to those of you who have been curious about the swimming pool photo of me and my best friend Ray, for whom my love and gratitude exceeds all others.

(Also read in the Book of Mormon: Mosiah, Chapter 2, verse 4; and in the Doctrine & Covenants: Section 112, verse 11 and also Section 121, verses 41 & 42).

For a free copy of the Book of Mormon and/or the King James version of the Bible, call 1-888-537-2200, on any day or hour.

My Mentor (also published in the 9/85 "Ensign")

(Originally posted in August 2004)
In 1970, about a year after I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) in Cumberland, Marland (22 February 1969), I was called by the Mission President to audit the financial records of all the various branches in the Blue Ridge District (covering parts of four States - Maryland, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and Virginia).
As a 21 year old convert, I had an intellectual appreciation of the gospel, but had not as yet developed much spiritual depth.
As part of my assignment, I was to meet with President Self, who was both Branch President and Financial Clerk of the tiny Branch in Keyser, West Virginia.
My first impression of him was that he was a good man, but not given to much "book learning".
With all the arrogance of my newly acquired college degree, and knowing the difficulties much more educated people had experienced in maintaining the records in the other branches, I had put off this visit with him until last and worried about what I would find in Keyser.
To my amazement, his ledger, with the crabbed yet ever so carefully made entries, was without flaw of any kind.
Dumbfounded, I asked him if he encountered any difficulties keeping these accounts.
Humbly, he replied that he knew that he didn't have enough education or experience to handle his calling and assignment.
He then went on to admit that the task had been painstakingly difficult at times.
His method simply was to work on the books until he "got stuck".
Then he would take a break to kneel in prayer and ask the Lord for "more help".
Working far into the nights, and with many "breaks", he accomplished the task to which the Lord had called him.
This was not a formal classroom.
President Self was not specifically set apart as my teacher.
Nevertheless, he taught me a great lesson in faith, humility, and how God will help us in all that we are required to do.

Larry D. Kump
Ravenswood (Indianapolis), Indiana

Through a Looking Glass

In "Glory Road", Robert A. Heinlein wrote about a man, because of life-threatening asthma, who lived on a high mountain.

His wife, whose fragile heart could not endure altitude, lived on the coast below him.

Sometimes they looked at each other through telescopes.

Temple Memories (Also published in the "Church News", 4 September 2004, page 16)

(Originally posted in August, 2004)
Very early Saturday morning, August 14th, 2004, it was good to be back at the Washington D.C. LDS Temple again.

Particularly meaningful to me was the endowment ordinances I was performing for a 15th Century Dutchman, since my own ancestry mostly is Dutch and German.

As I thereafter sat quietly praying in the Celestial room of the Temple, memories of my first Temple experience flooded my mind.

In was in 1970, and, after being baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) a year earlier at age 21, I was excited and anxious to receive my Temple washings, annointings, and endowments.

Although there were plans to finally build an LDS Temple East of the Mississippi River in the D.C. area, this was not to happen until 1974, and I couldn't bring myself to wait that long.

But to which Temple should I go and how?

LDS friends in the Cumberland, Maryland area where I was baptized suggested that I could go to Utah and stay with their extended families and friends, but I somehow was reluctant to do that.

One night, as I prayed about what to do about my Temple endowments, the answer suddenly came into my mind: go to the Los Angeles, California Temple and stay with my nonmember paternal grandparents, Edgar and Rhoda Kump.

I first broached this idea to my nonmember parents in Hagerstown,MD, and my Dad agreed that my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all would be glad to have me visit them.

However, he also cautioned me not to mention my new LDS Church affiliation to them, because it would offend my grandparents' fundamentalist religious affiliation and sensitivities.

And so I followed my Dad's counsel, inviting myself to visit his family, but not mentioning to them the larger purpose of my visit.

However, when "Pap-Pap" met me at the L. A. airport, I felt prompted to tell him of my newfound faith and my desire to go to the Temple.

He became very quiet upon hearing this news, and the drive back to his home seemed to last forever.

Arriving at his housing development, he spoke for the first time since I had bore my testimony to him of my conversion, asking me to go with him on a walk before we finally went home to see "Mam-Maw".

He knocked on every door of every home of that little retirement community within Tustin, California, whereupon, at each door, he stuck out his chest and proudly introduced me as his "Mormon Elder" grandson.

Before we finally went back to his home, he then confided in me that, many years ago, he was converted to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but, because my grandmother refused to change her faith and religious affiliation, he reluctantly opted not to join the LDS Church.

Having said that, he bore his testimony to me, and promised me that I never would regret the choice I had made, and how proud he was of me.

Both my grandparents never did join the Church, and they have long since passed away, but it has been my blessing and privilege to have their vicarious Temple work done on their behalf.

Larry D. Kump, High Priest
Hedgesville, West VirginiaWard
Martinsburg, West Virginia Stake

For more information about the difference between LDS Churches and Temples, and the eternal blessings availiable to you, call 1-888-537-6777 at any hour or day and ask for the free video "Together Forever".

Legislative News from My Pal(?) Roy

Forwarded Message
From: "Gilleo, Royden"
Sent: Feb 17, 2006
To: All of Larry's Coworkers
When Larry returns on Tuesday, please inquire how he made out in the Men's Room at the Maryland Senate Building.
The story goes that he put his underwear on backwards, and almost had an accident prior to testifying in front of the Senate.
Nothing was mentioned during the Senate hearings.

More Reflections on my "Sacred Grove" Home

(Originally posted 10/1/06)

It rained heavily during the night.
Earlier this morning, I noticed the rays of Sunshine streaming through the morning mists and woods surrounding my home.
That scene reminded me again so much of Joseph Smith, when that unlettered farmboy knelt in his own "Sacred Grove" and had a revelatory experience that changed the world (and also profoundly affected my life), as previously pointed out to me so many years ago by my daughter Sarah.
For a photo of my wooded homesite, go to www.indynerds.com/larry.
Also, for the same photo, but a better description of my home; scroll down these entries to "My Sacred Grove Home".

My "Sacred Grove" Home (posted in 2004)

An email to a friend on the West Coast:

Dave just posted the photo of my home on his website about me. Thank you for emailing that photo to him.

Thank you also for the "Sacred Grove" reference about my home. You spoke of things near and dear to me, but also stirred up memories which had faded away with time. Those memories are precious to me beyond words.

I took my daughter Sarah and son David to the Church "Hill Cumorah" pageant when they were just little tykes. The weather mostly was foul and we watched the pageant in a heavy downpour, but we had a rare gift of sunshine when we visited the "Saced Grove" near Palmyra, NY, where Joseph had his first revelation and visitation from God and his son Jesus Christ, in answer to his heartfelt prayer of which Church to join. The New Testament Scripture that led him there to pray in private (James 1:3-6) to this day is a guiding star in my life.

Anyway, I previously had thought that our visit to Palmyra had made little impression upon my children, and that they were far more entranced by the amusement park that we visited near Canidiqua and the boat ride at Niagara Falls. However, in 1991, when I purchased the three acre lot upon which I was to make my home and Sarah was helping me pound in metal lot boundary markers, she remarked to me that my little section of woods reminded her of the "Sacred Grove".

And so it has been for me, a place of healing, solitude, and prayer. Thank you again for drawing these spiritual threads together for me.

Postcript: In response to several inquiries about my home, the photo is somewhat deceiving, inasmuch it gives the impression that it just is a small cabin, due to the angle of the photograph. My home actually is much larger than it appears in the photograph, and includes four bedrooms and a personal library/office.

Friends & Enemies

Beware of well meaning friends.
They can be as dangerous as enemies.
---Agamemnon

Looking Beyond the Endgame

At long last, the "Kump" family headstone for my burial plots in the Brown's Mill Cemetery, on Kauffman Road and just north of Greencastle PA, finally has been carved and installed.
My 3rd Great Grandfather David S. Kump (1815-1895) and other kith and kindred already await me there.
One day, I will lay down my earthly cares and rest with them in the soft brown earth, going on thereafter to continue my journey.
It pleases me that this is one tellurian chore that will not be left to those who remain behind.
Meanwhile, it has made all the difference in the world for me to know from where we came, why we are here, why some suffer, and what good news lies ahead for all of us (and not just "Churchgoers").
Wordsworth perhaps said it best when he said that, "Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting: The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star, Hath elsewhere its setting, And cometh from afar: Not in entire forgetfulness, And not in utter nakedness, But trailing clouds of glory do we come From God, who is our home...".
For more of this about that, see "Best Buddies" entry at this web log.

Prudent to Ponder

"The vilest cruelty anybody can commit is to give somebody something wonderful and then snatch it away again." - H. Beam Piper

My Favorite Things

Here are my three favorite things:
1. Naps
2. Sandwiches.
3. Women
My most favorite of all is a woman who makes me a sandwich and then lets me take a nap.

Postscript: I also like pie.

Margaret "Peg" Gross on "Remembering Tom"

Larry,
As you may know, music always has been a significant part of my being, so I wish to share some personal trivia with you.
In 1957 or 1958, (when I finished the 8th grade), I attended a music camp, and, in the choir, we sang an anthem.
I remember the chorus having two voice parts:
First, the men sang (in a drone), "These times try men's souls, these times try men's souls...."
Then the sopranos and altos sang, "The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands NOW deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.."
After receiving your e-mail, I "Googled" this and found the full quote by Thomas Paine.
I loved the anthem at the time, but did not understand then what it really was about.
Now I have something to read, so that I, a POOR history student, can understand it.
Thanks for sharing.
Peg

Note from Larry: See the previous "Remembering Tom" entry at this web log for the rest of this story.

Ketchup with "Kate & Leopold"

Shake and shake the ketchup bottle.
None will come, and then a "lottle".

Lessons from Rain

As a young boy of no religious affiliation, I was fond of sitting by the screened windows in my parents' North Prospect Street home in Hagerstown, Maryland, watching and listening to the rain.
This never failed to give me feelings of peace and comfort.
This practice persists with me to this day.
And so it was that, last night, listening to the rainfall through my screened bedroom windows lulled me gently to sleep.
Rain continues to be a marvelous work and a wonder for me.
In the Book of Mormon, the American Pre-Columbian Prophet Alma taught that "...all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator." (Book of Mormon, Alma, Chapter 30, Verse 44)
And so it also is with rain.
(For a free copy of the Book of Mormon, call 1-888-537-2200)

About Marriage & More

As a younger man and when friends would marry, older folks often would give me a nudge and a wink, telling me "You're Next!".
Anxious to return their encouragement, I would tell them the same thing at funerals.

An Important Message from the National Pancake Association:

Waffles are stupid.

Partnership Priorities

I remember, long ago and far away, a special lady who was my Hoosier racquetball partner in Indianapolis.
She was a lovely lady and my companion of choice.
She and I got along great, and our friends and associates frequently pointed us out to others as a "dynamic duo".
I also thought so, and included her in all of my Church activities, hoping with all my heart that she would come to understand and embrace eternal truths.
I even seriously was thinking about marriage and more for us.
Then, one day, after we participated in a church social event together, she abruptly told me that she'd either marry me or live with me (without marriage).
She then further explained that the choice was mine, and all that I had to do was give up my membership "that Church".
My sad yet immediate "adieu" flabbergasted and upset her, but I remain so grateful that I knew and had strength enough to choose only the very best and would accept no substitutes.
It was the second best decision of my life.
The best decision of my life was joining The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).
For more of this about that, call 1-800-438-7557 or visit http://www.mormon.org/.

The Potatohead Leadership Maxim

When in danger.
When in doubt.
Run in circles.
Scream and shout!

Considering Card on Credo

"True believers in a cause often behaved in self-defeating ways because they expected other people to see the rightness of their cause if they just stated it clearly enough. As a result, they tipped their hand in every game and couldn't understand why everyone ganged up against them."
From "Ender in Exile", by Orson Scott Card

Remembering Tom

Recently, I've been prompted to revisit the polemical writings of Thomas Paine.
This one time Quaker and eventual Deist was our country's first advocate of personal liberty and freedom of choice.
He was a true Son of Liberty, who refused to profit even a penny from any of his pamphlets.
However, in his later years, he was the sad victim of gross and inexcusable American ingratitude.
Finally, President Thomas Jefferson, one of his few remaining friends, sent a ship to France in 1802, to bring Paine back to his beloved and adopted country, where he died in obscurity in 1809.
After his death, most American leaders continued to disdain him.
Even the great President Theodore Roosevelt never read Paine's writings, but ignorantly referred to him as "a filthy little atheist".
Truly, this American patriot spoke out bravely on behalf of George Washington's beleaguered and defeated troops, as well as to all of us across the ages, when he observed that "these are the times that try men's souls".

Postscript: The "No Guarantees" entry at this blog addresses a related issue regarding our current personal responsibilities.

Sad and Sobering

"Some people choose to become victims, even when they have other options."
- Brian Herbert

Four Powerful Personal Principles

The recent Independence Day weekend stirred my soul to further reflection about the basic principles of our citizenships and lives, so much so that it seemed both prudent and proper to also share these gleanings with all of you gentle readers:

* Power in Persistence

"...There was in a city, a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man:
And there was a widow in that city; and she came to him, saying, Avenge me of my adversary.
And he would not for a while: but afterward he said unto himself. Though I fear not God, nor regard man;
Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.
And the Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge has saith.
And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night to him, though he bear long with them?"
(Holy Bible, New Testament, Luke 18: 2-7)

* Power in Prayer

"...for this purpose have I established the Constitution of this land, by the hands of wise men whom I raised up unto this very purpose, and redeemed the land by the shedding of blood....I will liken (you) unto the parable of the woman and the unjust judge, for men ought to pray and not to faint.."
(LDS Church Doctrine & Covenants, Section 101, Verses 80-81)

* Power in Personal Weakness

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then I will make weak things become strong.."
(Book of Mormon, Ether, Chapter 12, Verse 27)

* Power in Humility

"Be thou humble; and the the Lord God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers."
(LDS Church Doctrine & Covenants, Section 111, Verse 10).

Worrisome

Sed quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

They Walk Among Us!

from my pal Roy "Goober" Gilleo...


One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone else looked up at the sky and said, "Where?"

They walk among us!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the Real Estate Agent which direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want the Sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the Sun rise in the North?" When my brother went on and explained that the Sun rises in the East, and has done so for quite a while, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

They walk among us!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"

They walk among us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They walk among us!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and that I was in good hands. "Now,"she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

They walk among us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding: "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

Yup, they walk among us!

AND........ They reproduce!

In Search of ...

You can't have everything.
Where would you put it?

On Making Choices

XXXX,
Our last confidential exchange of emails over the weekend and today prompted me to reexamine some of my own forthcoming decisions about a number of issues.
I appreciate the sharing of your own reality check with me, which then led to that further reflection of my personal choices.
My LDS faith teaches me many things, which include four important principles:

*Never give up on what you know is true.
*There always is a choice.
*That choice belongs solely to you and nobody else.
*Never allow others to make your personal choices for you.

And so it goes.

Larry

Postscript:

"...you gotta do what you think is right. That's all God ever asks of a man..."

- from "Final Impact", by John Birmingham

Confessions of a Curmudgeon

The doormat at my front doorstep plainly and proudly proclaims:

"Go Away!".
.
On the door itself is a small engraved notice that reads:

SCRAM!
Uninvited visitors will be ignored, abused, or prosecuted.
Persistent trespassers will be shot.
Survivors will be shot again.
Call (304) 274-3104 and leave a message to request an invitation.

Good Grief! After all, I'm in "the book", and shouldn't common courtesy persuade most folks not to unilaterally impose themselves on the domestic tranquility of others, and doesn't even the Preamble of the Constitution of these United States agree that all of us have the right to "insure (our own) domestic tranquility"?

In any case, just below my not so subtle proclamation, I then drafted and displayed a much more poetic version:

Whoever comes to visit here,
From Road that's right, from Quest that's clear,
Think not to come without prior pass,
Nor veil your mission, or your task.
Look not to enter, nor gain a way,
Past this Warden of the way.
These words were wrought, this warning trumped,
By Larry, who is son of Kump.

Even so, all of the above apparently still was far too subtle, as evidenced by the clueless cretin who pounded fruitlessly on my door last Sunday.

The Resonance of Frost

While browsing in an old book store yesterday, two of the poems of Robert Frost struck me with particular resonance.
You see, these past several years have been full to overflowing with both challenges as well as blessings, so much so that I've frequently yearned for surcease and rest from all of this dynamic stress; even though it has been providential in all its resolutions.
And so it was that Frost captured the longings as well as the determination of my heart in "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening", wherein he wrote, "...The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep."
Further reflecting upon these words of his and the choices I have made and continue to make in my life, another poem of his, "The Road Not Taken", leaped into my musings; as I continued to ponder God's Plan of Happiness for all of His children, and how supernally blessed I have been from my conversion as a young man to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) and my lifestyle choices since then.
"I shall be telling this with a sigh, Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."
And so it goes, worlds without end.
To learn more about the purpose of life, call 1-800-438-7557 or visit www.mormon.org.

No Guarantees

Redacted and edited from an email to a friend:

XXXXXX,
Of course, ... there are no guarantees, but you always are doomed to failure every time when you give up and predetermine... defeat...
Our great nation and our personal liberties today would not even exist if our forefathers had succumbed to the conventional wisdom of the time, that no ragtag band of untrained and overmatched colonials could defeat Great Britain, the preeminent world power.
Don't ever let anyone persuade you to believe that you can't make a difference.
...
...
Larry

Postscript: A Psychologist colleague of mine once pointed out to me that many folks become so sure that they'll fail that they actually become prey to "learned helplessness" syndrone.

Hey, Kids!

Bored in Church?
Try as you might, are you just not able to discover any spirituality in Brother Joe Bagadonuts' ponderous word for word and mind-numbing monotone reading of his prewritten talk?
Try this:
Pick up a hymnbook.
Choose any song.
Now mentally add "in the bathtub" to the title.
Share this tip with your parents and see how quickly they give you their undivided attention (not necessarily a good thing).

Sanctum Sanctorum (Pass on to your Friends)

Although sincere, fervent, and private prayer is possible, regardless of our locations or circumstances, my special place of spiritual communion and communication is the Washington, D.C. Temple (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or "LDS" Church).
In that Holy House, just prior to, during, and after completing sacred ordinances; my heart and soul is most receptive to spiritual counsel.
Our Father in Heaven attempts to counsel and help us every day, but the tumult of our workaday and other distractions far too often make it difficult for us to perceive that "still, small voice" of the Holy Ghost, His messenger of truth and wisdom, who replies to our every prayer and plea.
And so it is, after completing an endowment session, and as I sit in the Temple cafeteria to grab a quick bite, my attention always is drawn to a painting on the cafeteria wall, which gives me further pause to ponder.
The painting portrays Our Savior, Jesus Christ, on a hillside by a lake, teaching God's Eternal Plan of Happiness.
On the lake, in the distance, is a sailboat.
That sailboat and the people in it makes me wonder:
How many of us are that close to the truth, but, concerned and consumed with other issues and prejudices, let it pass us by?
For more information about the purpose of life and other eternally significant questions, please visit www.lds.org, www.providentliving.org, or just call 1-800-438-7557.

Instructions for forwarding to Friends: Click on the "envelope" icon below.

Puppies!

The new two puppies at the home of my friend now have their own names:
"Get Down off the Couch!" and "You, Too!".

Just a Trouble Maker

A small church was seeking a new minister and received the following letter of application:

Dear Committee Brethren,
Please consider me to lead your flock.
I have been a preacher of some success, and also have written much about the Gospel.
I'm also a good organizer and leader.
I'm over 50 years old, and have never been in one place for over three years.
I admit that I have had to leave some congregations after I caused riots and disturbances, and have been imprisoned several times, but not for doing anything illegal.
Even though my health is not good, I get a great deal accomplished.
Some of the other Church leaders in towns where I've worked have not gotten along well with me, and some even have threatened and attacked me.
I have baptized lots of folks, but, since I have not kept good records, I have forgotten whom I have baptized.
I believe I can do a good job for your congregation.

One Committee member was aghast, and asked,
"Call an unhealthy, trouble-making, absent minded, exconvict to such a position of trust? Who has had such arrogance to submit that application?".

The letter was signed, "The Apostle Paul".

(Author Unknown)

At the Movies

While reading the May 2009 issue of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint's (LDS Church's) "Liahona" magazine earlier this morning, one of the articles, "Come Let Us Go Up to the Mountain of the Lord" by Elaine S. Dalton, evoked in me a powerful reminder of a past experience.
It was a memory from many years ago, when I still was living with my parents in Hagerstown, Maryland; probably right after I had been newly baptized and in my last year of college.
Some of my old neighborhood pals from my youth had decided to go see a drive-in movie at the State Line drive-in movie, North of Hagerstown and just across the Maryland-Pennsylvania border.
They invited me to join them, and I agreed.
As the movie began and I was sitting in the back seat of the car, it quickly became abundantly clear to me that the movie was pornographic and that I shouldn't be watching it.
Although I now cannot imagine not knowing the kind of movie it would be prior to agreeing to go see it, I distinctly do remember being filled with remorse and even panic that I was there.
I also have a clear memory of sitting in the back seat of the car, with my eyes averted from watching the screen, and silently as well as fervently praying for a way for me to escape that self inflicted predicament.
When I just about had decided to endure the embarrassment of simply getting out of the car and attempting to hitchhike back home, a heavy fog suddenly closed in upon the theater lot.
The fog was so dense that it quickly became impossible for the visual images to be projected upon the outdoor movie screen, and the theater management stopped the movie and refunded the ticket price to all in attendance.
Prayers are answered, often in ways that we don't immediately discern, but also sometimes in ways that simply and completely dumbfound us.

Perspective

I am persistent.
You are stubborn.
They are pig-headed fools!

The Best Revenge

There is no revenge as complete as forgiveness.

Almost Heaven

The temperature outside my home just now is 55 degrees Fahrenheit.
While prayerfully fasting, I looked out through my Living Room window.
The Sun streaming through the woodland morning mists reminds me of the greatness and wonder of God, as well as of the incredible experience of Joseph Smith with the Father and the Son in the "Sacred Grove", near Palmyra, New York.
It also reminds me of 1991, when my daughter Sarah was fourteen years of age and helping me stake out the property lines for my new home.
She made the same observation then about the Sun shining through the woodland mists.

Roy "Goober" Gilleo: My Wal*Mart Hero!

Mrs. Gilleo insists that Mr. Gilleo go with her to Wal*Mart, but he gets easily bored.
He prefers to get in and get out, but she loves to browse.
Here's a letter sent to Mrs. Gilleo from the store manager:

Dear Mrs. Gilleo,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior, and may be forced to ban both of you from our stores.
We have documented all of these incidents on our video surveillance.
All of the complaints against Mr. Gilleo are documented as follows:

1. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at five minute intervals.
2. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.
3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3 in Housewares!".
4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
5. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in, but only if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. September 23: When clerks ask if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?".
8. October 4: Looked right up at the security camera, used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
9. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where he could find the antidepressants.
10. December 3: Darted around the store loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and, when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!".
13. December 19: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!".

And the last straw ...

14. December 20: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a few minutes, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!".

Sincerely,
Mr. Joe Bagadonuts
Wal*Mart Store Manager

A Plan "Big Enough for All"

Elder Quentin L. Cook, Apostle of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) recently pointed out that:
"The Anglican church leader and classical scholar Frederic Farrar, the author of 'The Life of Christ', lamented in lectures in Westminster Abbey that the common teachings of Protestant churches with respect to hell were incorrect. He asserted that a definition of hell which included endless torment and everlasting damnation was the result of translation errors from Hebrew and Greek to English in the King James version of the Bible. Farrar also noted the overwhelming demonstration of a Loving Father in Heaven throughout the Bible as additional evidence that the definitions of hell and damnation used in the English translation were incorrect".
For the full text of his remarks, see "Our Father's Plan of Salvation - Big Enough for All His Children", page 34, May 2009 issue of the "Liahona", also available on the internet at www.liahona.lds.org.

A Letter to My Daughter, Sarah Daniels

Sarah ( A.K.A. Sadie-Belle),
In a blessing administered to me a couple of weeks ago, under the hands of my fellow Priesthood Brethren (John Duff and David Smith), many things were revealed to me.
This blessing included much more than vague adumbrations.
In it and among other things, I also was told that Our Father in Heaven has decreed that my appointed time here on Earth is not yet completed.
The blessing continued on to adjure me that my life has and will continue to be preserved by His Providence, albeit for an unspecified time and for purposes still not yet fully known to me.
And so it was this week that, despite recent contrary indicators, the surgeon discovered no current evidence of additional eruptions of the previous cancers, although additional follow-up oncological procedures and monitoring will continue.
Thank you so much for your personal prayers, as well as those from others, on my behalf.
A tremendous thank you also goes out to all of the medical practitioners who have and who somehow continue to keep me patched together and functioning, notwithstanding previously contrary prognoses (since 1981).
Most of all, however, I thank Our Father in Heaven, who apparently is not yet done with me in the here and now.

Love,
Dad

About Jeff "Snake-Eyes" Moore

Larry
We will. Isn't he a good boy???
Love ya,
Shirleen

*******

Dave & Shirleen,
Your son, "Snake-Eyes", introduced me to Heather Hill on Sunday afternoon, and, in doing so, he took me completely off guard when he told her that I am "awesome".
I cannot think of a more profound and heart touching compliment from anyone, especially a teenage boy.
Please tell Jeff that he really made my day.
Larry

To Roy Gilleo on "the Soul of MCEA?"

Roy,
I agonized and agonized before sending that email.
Finally, I concluded that someone had to tell the Emperor that he was wearing no clothes.
MCEA's employee payroll deduction privileges make it a juicy plum for any other union to covet.
My greatest fear is that our MCEA leaders will be swayed by silken promises...
Even if another union suitor offers a seemingly wonderful proposal, that's only part of the conundrum and a potential train wreck in the making.
In any contract, the contract language is important, but even more important is the integrity and sincere good will of all of the contractual parties.
Mark my words: I predict that other union suitors will wine and dine MCEA's leaders; promising many things, including MCEA's continued independence and even a temporary waiver of the other union's additional dues.
After any merger, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to act upon buyers' remorse.
By the way, I have not copied any of my thoughts on this issue to any actual employees of MCEA, simply because MCEA staffers don't have a vote on policy issues and, even more importantly, I don't want to put them between a rock and a hard place.
Larry

cc: MCEA Leaders
--------------------------------------------------------------
Larry
AMEN!
Roy
-----Original Message-----
From: Larry D. Kump [mailto:kumpster@mymailstation.com]
Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 7:18 PM
Subject: For Sale - the Soul of MCEA?
The Maryland Classified Employees Association (MCEA) was organized in 1936, as a staunchly independent and nonpartisan grassroots employee advocate organization; ordained to speak up and out on behalf of good governance, workplace justice, and liberty for Maryland's state employees (MCEA Bylaws, Article II, Objects and Methods, Section 1).
Now, street whisperers tell me that there are some within MCEA who want to make a Faustian pact with Mephistopheles and merge with a statewide and national union.
If this is true, my great worry is that doing so will trample upon the very soul and self-governing independence of MCEA (MCEA Bylaws, Article II, Objects & Methods, Section 4-Association Status).
Further and much worse: To trample the independent workplace justice advocacy of MCEA would run roughshod, on little dirty feet, over the best and last champion of the individual rights and liberties for all of Maryland's state employees and retirees.
And so it goes.

Sans peur et sans reproche.
Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are, and do not go gentle into that good night.
Larry D. Kump

My New Lady Love (I'm so excited!)

Recently, while I was out dining alone, there was this really gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.
Frankly, I had been checking her out since I first noticed her, but just couldn't find the nerve to introduce myself to her.
Suddenly, she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket, coming right toward me.
In a reflex reaction, I grab it out of the air, and hand it back to the lady.
"Oh my , I am so sorry! ", she apologizes to me, as she pops her eye back into place.
She then offers to buy my dinner to make it up to me.
So, we enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards even go take in a movie.
We talk, we laugh, and we share our deepest dreams with each other.
We had a wonderful, wonderful time.
I truly was amazed at how quickly we were so much in harmony with each other.
I then confessed to her that she is the personification of the perfect woman, and asked her if she has this effect on all men.
"No", she replied...
"You just happened to catch my eye!"


Postscript: My friend Ward Clem asked me if apples were served during our meal, and if that is why she now is the "Apple of my eye"?

About Relationships, to a Darla Glessner

Darla,
Your comment about your sister Kara's and her husband's loving marriage of eleven years touched my heart, and reminded me about Brother and Sister Hill in the Martinsburg, WV Ward (I recently relocated to the Hedgesville, WV Ward).
I hadn't seen them in about 18 years or so, when I heard Sister Hill stand and share her testimony in Sacrament Meeting.
She said then that when she knelt at the Temple altar to be married, she looked across at the man she loved more than life itself.
Her testimony that day burrowed into my heart and remained there.
Recently, I encountered them anew in the Martinsburg, WV Meetinghouse, and told each of them separately of how much Sister Hill's previous testimony impressed me.
Sister Hill then immediately told me that her husband is the most handsome man in the world.
Afterwards, when I told Brother Hill about Sister Hill's comments about him to me, Paul blushed and simply said that he's ever so grateful for his wife's poor eyesight.
Larry

Actual Letters to Social Services

1. I have not had any clothes for a year, but have been visited regularly by the clergy.
2. I cannot get sick pay. I have had six children. Can you tell me why?
3. I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.
4. This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?
5. I am very annoyed to find that you have my son illiterate. That is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.
6. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my three children; one of which is a mistake as you can see.
7. You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?
8. In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
9. I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.
10. Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to live an immortal life.

Another Spaghetti Sauce Solution

Nonplussed over several personal questions and issues, meditation and prayer brought one repeated prompting.
It was to hie myself to the Washington, D. C. Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and participate in the higher levels of sacred ordinance work.
The Interstate traffic congestion during the workweek is horrendous, and I was loathe to endure it, but I went anyway this morning.
It was during the worst of the commuter traffic.
However, to my amazed delight, traffic just seemed to melt away.
Consequently, I arrived at the Temple in record time.
At the Temple, it soon became clear to me why it was important for me to be there at that particular time and date.
That brand of spaghetti sauce is right: just pray and go (Prego).

Intolerance

Intolerance is..."a reflection upon the one who had exhibited it rather than upon the one toward whom it was directed. Not only a reflection upon good manners, but upon one's basic knowledge. There can be nothing quite so stupid as intolerance."
Clifford Simak
"The Goblin Reservation", 1968

It Seems to Me

A conversation yesterday struck me as most curious.
In that conversation, two individuals were not sympathetic with the policies of the Pope of the Roman Catholic Church.
They expressed a desire that he be much more in tune with their secular political viewpoints.
It seems obvious to me, that if you believe in God, but don't believe that the Pope is God's spokesperson, then perhaps the Roman Catholic Church just is not for you.
It also seems obvious to me that anyone who believes in a loving God and the Bible should believe that He would continue to speak and provide additional direction through revelations to us through His spokespersons (i.e., Prophets and Apostles) as well as individually, here and now, just as He previously did in former times.
Let all follow their hearts and worship (or not worship) as seems best to them, but that, in a nutshell, is the basis of my personal religious conversion and my simple faith.

The Puissant Power of Personal Prayer

Two Sundays previous to today, our local ward (congregation) of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) Sacrament (worship service) speakers spoke on a topic suggested to them by our inspired lay leadership (Bishopric).
Their topic was how to prepare for this weekend's LDS Church General Conference meetings, which were broadcast worldwide via satellite to homes, cable television networks, and LDS Meetinghouses.
In these sacrament meeting talks, we then were encouraged to prepare for the conference broadcasts by praying on behalf of the conference speakers and also that our hearts and minds would be prepared to receive and understand counsel given to us that would be especially meaningful in meeting our individual and family needs.
Although by nature an impatient and contumacious soul, I nevertheless took these speakers' guidance to heart and applied it every day during the last two weeks in my private and personal prayers.
And so it was that each and every LDS Church General Conference speaker this weekend provided me with an abundance of mentoring that was poignantly appropriate and uplifting for me, so much so that I could scarce take it all in.

From Long Ago & Far Away (shared with an old friend)

When I joined the Church, you were just a little tyke - about 4 years old or so.
The first thing I remember about you is your Mom & Dad telling me that you would pitch a hissy fit at even the very thought of missing out on Family Home Evening.
They also told me that you often would ask if it was Monday yet, because you so enjoyed that time with your family.
Therein perhaps was the acorn that grew up into the mighty Oak tree of your spiritual strength.

Footnote: For more about Family Home Evenings and lots of other family friendly information, call 1-800-438-7557 or visit www.mormon.org

Inmate #129550

For many years, I furthered my personal growth and education by working as a Prison Case Manager within the bowels of a prison. My office was in a inmate housing unit, right beside the inmate tiers, and I was not even able to lock my office door.
And so it was that one of these inmates, serving a life sentence, wrote me the following poem on Christmas Eve in 1996:
God Bless the Sinner
Twas the night before Christmas, and in prison I slept;
Yet the spirit of Christmas, in my heart I still kept.
Not for the presents, for gifts, or a toy;
But for Jesus, our Savior, who brings us great joy.
Even from prison, I know this is real;
The love of our Savior, in my heart I can feel.
I know He did suffer, from the day of His birth;
I know of His reason, for coming to Earth.
I know in my darkness, I will not despair;
My Savior is Jesus, and I know He does care.
For He was in prison, He knows of my pain;
His love still is with me, He will not refrain.
In spirit He shows me, the gifts that await;
Once I do enter, through God's Holy Gate.
He reminds me of Salvation, and of my right to choose;
He knows how I feel, He's walked in my shoes.
He shows me His great love, every day of the year;
Not only to you, but even in here.
So open your heart, and open your eyes;
Every day still is Christmas, and Christ is our prize.
We need only ask, in faith we must pray;
For Jesus walks with us, each night and each day.
Don't look for great things, while here on this Earth;
Just look to Jesus, and think of His birth.
So pray against evil, around us you'll see;
On Earth there are prisons, in Heaven we're free.
This day is a blessing, in faith we believe;
Pray for all sinners, on this Christmas Eve.

Important News Clarification

Upon learning that a local store had ladies clothing up to 60% off, I hurried right over there.
Sadly, it just was a sale. :(

Malthusian Mendacity

Science Correspondent Ronald Bailey got it exactly right when he debunked Malthus' "junk science" population growth theories as touted anew in Jared Diamond's book, "Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed" ("Under the Spell of Malthus", August/September 2005 issue of "Reason" Magazine, pages 67-71).
In doing so, he also took an insightful swipe at Darwin's much ballyhooed and unproven "theory" of evolution, that so many otherwise intelligent and educated folks blindly accept as uncontroverted fact.
While all of us will be held accountable for and share a responsibility to strive to be faithful and protective stewards of the Earth and our environment, we also should remember that God has promised us that, " For it is expedient that I, the Lord, should make every man accountable, as a steward over earthly blessings, which I have made and prepared....For the earth is full, and there is enough to spare..." (Doctrine & Covenants Section 104, Verses 13 &17, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).
By the way, Diamond also got it way wrong about the reasons for the collapse of the Mayan Empire in Pre-Columbian Central America, for reasons not even touched upon by Bailey, but that's another story.

Lessons in Life from "The Kid"

Restless and unable to sleep, I started to watch one of my favorite
movies on DVR, "The Kid" by Walt Disney and starring Bruce Willis.
One of the best parts of the movie is when Bruce tells his assistant to stop biting her nail because it shows that she is unprofessional.
She replies by sticking her finger up her nose and asking him what that means.
At the end of the movie, he wises up and marries her.
Cool beans.

This Notice Required by State Law: Kids - don't try this at home, at least not while your parents are watching. This also applies to "Wet Willies"...just in case you wanted to know.

Proverbs 13:20

Or, in other words, "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups!"

In the Sauce

The "Prego" brand of spaghetti sauce sums up all of the answers.
Just "pray" and "go".

By George!

The continuing crisis of effective leadership and the rampant employee unrest within the Maryland Department of Public Safety came to mind recently as I read the following quote from George Washington:
"A people...must be led, they will not be drove."
(Source: "1776", page 293, by David McCullough)

The Secret of Success

"...no one has failed who keeps trying and keeps praying."
- Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

"Vox Populi, Vox Dei!"

Translation: "My God! How did we get in this mess!"
Or, put another way: "Beware the tyranny of the majority!"
(A maxim well known to and respected by our founding fathers when they drafted the "Bill of Rights")

The Purpose (and Power) of Prayer

Recently, a friend of mine lamented his experience with prayer, wherein he prayed fervently and sincerely for an outcome which was not realized.
And so it is oft times for all of us, when we forget that the purpose of prayer is not for our own myopic petitions to be granted, but rather for us to learn the will of Our Father in Heaven, that we thereby may be more fully instructed, strengthened, and blessed.
When we pray, we first should "...study (the issue) out in (our) mind"..., and then "..ask (God) if it is right.." (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Doctrine & Covenants: Section 9, verse 8).
And, in all our petitions to God, we never should forget the prime purpose of prayer: to seek for a better understanding of His Plan of Happiness for all of us, and to praise Him for His eternal love and the supernal gift of the Atonement of His son, even Jesus Christ.
This then opens the windows of Heaven for us to better realize what we do not yet understand and to empower us to do and receive all with which He would bless us.
Worlds without end.
For a free video to help us further understand how to resolve our personal and family challenges, call toll-free, 1-800-443-9911 at any hour or day.
Also, check out www.lds.org.

How Our Government Works...

A rancher named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California, when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie; leans out the window and asks the rancher, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not"'
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
He then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and then turns to the rancher and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's the right number, so you can take one of my herd", says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with much amusement as the young man stuffs the protesting animal into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?".
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
'You're an executive employee of the Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct", says the bureaucrat, "but how did you guess that?".
"No guessing required", answered Bud.
"You showed up here, even though nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew and to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are, and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog!"

Advice from a Teddy

There is not one among us in whom a devil does not dwell.
At some time, on some point, that devil masters each of us.
It is not having been in the dark house, but having left it that counts.
- Theodore Roosevelt

Paying It Forward-a Letter to a Friend

Donna,
Just now, while reading President Uchtdorf's testimony of Joseph Smith in the February, 2009 issue of the "Liahona", I again was reminded of those who so lovingly nutured me in my early faith.
Tonight, I have the supernal privilege of accompanying Patriarch Jack Huff and home teaching the family of Eddy Mueller.
Eddy is the brother of Richard Mueller, and Richard Mueller's family (in Paw Paw, West Virginia) was one of several wonderful local LDS families who immediately took me in, so many years ago and almost as one of their own, and helped a confused and often arrogant young man to learn Gospel principles in action.
It also is my understanding that Eddy is the one who brought the Restored Gospel to Richard & Jane Mueller.

Larry

Again, from Heinlein

"The biscuits and the syrup never come out even."

- Robert Heinlein

(I hate it when that happens)

Sisyphus & Us

A "The Lockhorns" cartoon caption perhaps best described the frustration of Maryland's Division of Correction (DOC) employees, when the Lockhorn's frustrated marriage counselor confessed: "Now I know how Sisyphus must have felt."

Beware!

Beware "the frowns of bigots and the calumny of hypocrites".

- Oliver Cowdery, October 1834

Lessons from a Stick

The lamentations of so many of us, both individually and even on the larger world arena, often only is a reflection of the consequences of our individual and collective choices.
Mormon, a Pre-Columbian American Prophet, in 345 AD, has warned us that oft-times "...sorrowing was not unto repentance, because of the goodness of God; but it was rather the sorrowing of the damned, because the Lord would not always suffer them to take happiness in sin. And they did not come unto Jesus with broken hearts and contrite spirits...". (Book of Mormon, Mormon, Chapter 2, Verses 13-14)
Another American Prophet, Alma, in 73 B.C., went on to remind us to "let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down into repentance...Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do let the justice of God, and his mercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in humility." (Book of Mormon, Alma, Chapter 42, Verses 29-30)
And so it is that some consequences of our choices are immediate and others are much less so, but nonetheless just as sure.
As a friend and mentor recently put it to me in another way, "When you pick up a stick, the other end always follows.".
For a free copy of the Book of Mormon, call 1-888-537-2200.

So There!

Everything I write is fully substantiated by my own opinion.

A Letter to My Children on Upcoming Events

Sunday, January 4th, 2009

Dear David & Sarah,
The WBAL (Baltimore) radio show interview with former Maryland Governor Ehrlich (done via telephone from my home) went extremely well last Saturday morning, and (bless their hearts) they even promised to send me an audio cassette tape copy of the show.(For an executive summary of the thrust of my remarks, visit http://kumpster.blogspot.com and scroll down to the "Furloughs, Pickpockets, and Retirees" entry.)
At 8:00 AM, Monday, January 5th, 2009, I have an appointment with my Primary Care Doctor to get a referral for further cancer surgery, which will be within the next month or so.
On Tuesday evening, January 6th, I have a dinner meeting at the Hagerstown area Beaver Creek Country Club with Maryland House of Delegates Minority Leader Christopher Shank and former Maryland Governor Ehrlich.
Then on Friday, January 9th, I have an 11:00 AM luncheon meeting with the MCEA Union Public Safety Non-Custody Employees Chapter in Hagerstown, MD at the El Paso restaurant on the Dual Highway.
Of course my activity within my local congregation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) continues unabated. We are preparing for the imminent opening of our new "Stake Center" (new regional worship and meeting house), which only is a few scant miles from my home in Falling Waters, WV (in Spring Mills, WV). The target opening date is around the end of February, 2009. It will include a "Family History Center" (Genealogy Research Center) which will be free of charge and open to the general public.
And so it goes.....

Love,

Dad

Just So You Know

There is a technical, literary descriptor for those who mistake and transpose their own opinions and assumptions for those of another.
That word is "moron".

About love...

I've never fallen in love ... but I stepped in it once.

About Governor Ehrlich's Radio Show

Governor Ehrlich,
Thank you for both the privilege and pleasure of participating with you, Kendall, and David Boschert today on your radio show this morning.
Please also thank Greg Massoni for agreeing to get me an audiotape copy of the show, so I can dub it and share it with my out of state family and friends.
Yours for better governance,
Larry

An Important Insight...

I realize that I live in my own little world, but it's ok.
Thay know me here.

Looking Back, with Gratitude

Although converted to the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ at age 14 or 15 (from my cynical agnosticism and repudiation of my family's religious affiliation), my parents adamantly denied me permission to be baptized or even attend LDS Church services.
Thereafter, I drifted away from what I knew was right for many years, but never forgot.
I never forgot.
Finally, on February 22nd, 1969, as a 21 year old Frostburg College Senior and after much agonizing pondering and prayer, I at long last was baptized as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).
My parents and family were not pleased, not even a little bit.
In the almost forty years since then, my hopes and dreams have been crushed many times, but I also have been blessed far beyond my
personal expectations or worthiness, more than words can tell.
Although much of my life has been difficult and often even lonely, my LDS Church membership remains far more precious to me than any thing or even person.
My faith has taught me where I come from, why I'm here, and what lies ahead for all of us on the other side of the veil.
And so it goes...

A Blessing for Kith & Kindred

May the light always find you on a dreary day.
When you need to be home, may you find your way.
May you always have courage to take that chance,
And never find frogs in your underpants.

To an Old Friend on Christmas Eve

XXXXX (name redacted),
Recluse and curmudgeon that I am, perhaps my daughter Sarah is the only one who really understands me.
She knows that some of the events of my life also makes Christmas a weepy time for me, and gives me the space to deal with it in my own private way.
I don't know much, and don't do that well with what I do know, but, like you, I know that the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ is true.
Of that, I have no doubt.
Your recent news of your rebaptism was a Christmas miracle for me.
You were hurt, angry, and continue to have a tremendous stubborn streak.
That stubbornness, however, mostly has been a good thing, as you have selflessly loved and served your family, and amazingly even continued to faithfully attend Church.
I stand all amazed at who you are and how you have served and continue to serve so many others.
You boggle my mind, and make me hope that one day I can grow up to be more like you.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (text redacted).
And so it was this morning that I was pondering and praying about how Christ chose to retain his wounds upon his resurrection.
Apostle Jeffrey Holland said that was to reveal how "he was wounded in the house of his friends".
He went on to explain that, "Those wounds in his hands, feet, and sides are signs that in mortality painful things happen even to the pure and the perfect, signs that tribulation is NOT evidence that God does not love us. It is a significant and hopeful fact that it is the WOUNDED Christ who comes to our rescue. He who bears the scars of our sacrifice, the lesions of love, the emblems of humility and forgiveness is the Captain of our Soul. That evidence of pain in mortality is undoubtedly intended to give courage to others who are also hurt and wounded by life, perhaps even in the house of their friends.".
Thank you for who you are.
Larry

Accept No Counterfeits

A man and his dog were walking along a road.
He was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.
He then wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road.
It looked like fine marble.
At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as they got closer, he saw a man at a desk at the side of the gate.
He called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," answered the gatekeeper.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" he asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."
The gatekeeper gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" he asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The traveler then thought for a moment and then turned back toward the road, continuing on the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, they came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
There was no fence.
As they approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."
"How about my friend here?", gesturing to the dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump."
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveler filled the water bowl for the dog, and then he also took a long drink.
When they both were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is Heaven," he answered.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."
"Doesn't it upset you that they to use your name like that?"
"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."

Personal Note :
I'm also grateful that my faith (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints- "LDS" Church) teaches that all of God's creatures will be resurrected and we may continue to enjoy their companionship in the hereafter.
Of course, I think about the "hereafter" quite a bit lately.
When I go from one room into another, I usually wonder what I'm "here after".

Remembering Bert

Many years ago, after confessing seriously inappropriate behavior to my local Ward Bishopric (LDS Church Leaders), my disfellowshipment thereafter was made known to my fellow Priesthood Brethren, as was the practice at that time.
I was mortified and deeply discouraged, and this became even worse for me when these brethren thereafter avoided me.
In point of fact, their embarassment for me and discomforture with my circumstances caused them to almost stampede out of my presence.
That is, all except one brother, Bert, who I knew only slightly at the time.
Immediately after our church meetings, he purposely strode over to me, as I forlornly sat in the church meetinghouse foyer, and offered his sincere sympathy for and support to me.
In all my life, never have I been so grateful for the loving kindness of another.
Since then, I long since have returned to full church fellowship as well as my Priesthood responsibilities, but I always will be grateful to and will never forget Bert.

Musings to My Children

Dear David & Sarah,
After sleeping through most of Sunday and being mostly bedridden since last Tuesday (except for going out to a legislative forum meeting on Saturday, which probably much delayed my recovery), my health seems finally to have mostly rebounded - at least, I'm feeling much more like my own curmudgeon, vinegar filled self.
Although still a little tired, I'm stepping out today to take care of a huge backlog of errands.
It was much more than just a nasty cold, but not exactly the flu either.
In any case, others have reported similar symptoms, but mostly with their children(?).
Does that mean I'm childish or merely childlike?
Does that mean that I should go back to riding on the short bus? (If so, I promise to diligently wear my helmet, and not to lick the windows).
Late Sunday night, while in bed and musing, the realization came to me that both of my children now are older than I was (at age 30) when I was diagnosed with terminal cancer the first time and given a future lifespan prognosis of six months or less.
Since then, there have been multiple encounters with Zippy the Surgeon (with more to soon come), many prayers on my behalf, and powerful Priesthood Blessings, under the hands of my LDS Priesthood Brethren.
All in all, it is difficult for me to fathom that thirty years have passed, and seemingly so quickly.
On Saturday night, I dreamed that I was looking at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, and surprised to see that my countenance was that of a slim young man, about twenty, with dark blonde hair, blue eyes and a scattering of freckles. It was then that I realized that the reflection actually was that of my adopted son David, when he was a younger man, and who has been a choice blessing in my life.
Then, a few days ago, I saw a television ad for the "Clapper" light switch, and chuckled when I remembered my darling little daughter Sarah scrambling up the stairs in my home in Indianapolis (Ravenswood) and anxiously clapping her little hands to turn on the sound sensitive stairwell lights, to protect herself from the imagined monsters in the darkness.
That memory also gave me a grin to also remember her perception and memories of the "goat boy" in the painting of "Christ and the Children" above her bed.
I also am grateful that my friend and LDS Brother, Maryland Delegate Rick Weldon went out of his way to give my former coworker and friend Royden "Goober" Gilleo some good counsel on how to obtain quicker resolution on federal assistance for someone especially dear to him and suffering from a Bipolar affliction.
And so time passes, and so it goes.

Love,
Dad

Seat Belt Savvy

Seat belts are good for you.
Eat one.

Advice to a Friend

... Some folks get so sincerely worried about how others should be living their lives that they expend lots of effort that isn't wanted or appreciated.
Popeye the Sailor once said, "I am who I am, and that's all that I am!".
The person who we truly can change only is ourselves.
Our influence over others is much more limited, or so I believe.
... It's ok if others don't understand or agree with me.
They're entitled to their own opinions and personal progress.
Someone told me once not to get upset with a skunk for stinking.
That was good advice, at least for me.
We're responsible to Our father in Heaven through Christ for our own personal salvation and progress.
We're on dangerous ground when we undertake to assume responsibility for others that isn't part of our callings or covenants.
Even then we must be ever so careful.
Christ's response to the "Sons of Thunder" says a lot about this, as He, the Creator of this world, also is ever so careful to recognize and respect the right of personal agency.
The older I get and the more experience I accumulate, the more I believe this to be a true principle.

Smokey says -

Forest fires prevent bears, and
aluminum trees prevent forest fires, but
the woodpeckers really can be annoying.

Confessions of a Malcontent

Joe Queenan confesses that "...jackasses, pedants, buffoons, and charlatans have always been a clear and present danger to humanity, and that they are not merely a modern health hazard...Proving, once again, that there is nothing new under the sun. Especially if it involves morons.".
His book, "Malcontents", then goes on to celebrate those writers who were "masters of getting up peoples's noses", from Aristophanes to Oscar Wilde.
Queenan even makes a sideways reference to Machiavelli as the "Florentine Chuckle King". (Go figure.)
Particularly refreshing is Joe's meticulous rationale for his editorial opinions and selections: "I felt like it.".
It's comforting to know that I am not alone.

Thankful

After returning home late last night from a wondrous Thanksgiving dinner and visit with my daughter Sarah ("Sadie-Belle" to those "in the know"), my thankfulness was enhanced even further today.
That happened by arising in the wee hours of this morning and hieing myself to Washington, D.C., to participate in an endowment session within the Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).
At the Temple, and in conversation with one of the Temple Officiators. we both expressed profound gratitude for the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Satan's counterfeit delusion causes many to believe the pernicious lie that Our Father in Heaven demands that we live without personal flaws or faults.
Instead, Our Savior only requires us to make a sincere effort to learn from and follow Him.
His Atonement then helps us along the rest of the way on our paths to fulfill both our earthly and eternal potentials and destiny.

Wistful Memories of Limerence

Restless and unable to sleep just now, I arose and began to thumb through old High School yearbooks from North Hagerstown High School in Hagerstown, Maryland (1960-1965).
Therein I discovered a series of photographs of Courtney Page Roulette, a lovely young girl who captured my infatuous affection, beginning in the 7th grade, at North Potomac Junior High School. Perhaps she was my first love, albeit very much from afar.
Alas, I never found the courage to tell her about my feelings :( ...

A Letter to My Children

Dear David & Sarah,
A few days ago, while watching one of my favorite old movies, "The Canterville Ghost" (B&W, 1944), it prompted me to pause and reflect upon the marvelous wonder and the works of my own life.
With still another birthday coming on January 27th, it amazes me that my life has been preserved and protected for so many years, and for reasons still mostly unbeknownst to me.
Of course, you both know about my "terminal" cancer in 1981, and much of the rest of the curious events that have transpired in my life since then.
However, I still remember my parents telling me that my birth also came close to being a very short story, with the doctor telling Mom that he didn't expect me to live another twenty-four hours, and, if I did, I would be severely retarded.
Naturally, your Aunt Linda takes great glee in reminding all that the doctor's diagnosis was correct.
Only this week, while climbing to the top of an aluminum extension ladder that I had propped against a humongous hickory tree (to check on potential satellite reception problems at my home), the ladder and I suddenly were dislodged and we both abruptly fell to the ground.
To my utter amazement, I suffered nary a scratch nor a bruise from that tumble.
To be sure, it is true that my "Patriarchal Blessing" (November 29th, 1969) promises me that, my "...Guardian Angel has charge concerning you. He has watched over you thus far, removed many barriers from your way, and has preserved your life for a purpose...."
That purpose still mostly befuddles me, but I at least do know that our Savior, Jesus Christ, knows me personally, just as He knows all of us children of Our Father in Heaven.
And so, one day in the not too distant future, all of us will know as we are known.
I also know that Our Savior knows about all of our trials, that our life experiences are for our eternal good, and that this life is just a stepping stone for much more to come.
For me, as for many others, the oft-quoted line from "A Tale of Two Cities" rings ever true: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.".
As I continue to muse about Sir Canterville's longing to finally be able to sleep "in the soft brown earth", I anxiously look forward to what awaits me, both in this life and the next.
Love,
Dad

From "The Scourge of God"

"God is the greatest of artists! How good of Him to give us this world, and the chance to imitate Him by bettering it.
...If only we did not mar it, and ourselves, so often!"
-S. M. Stirling

Note: "The Scourge of God" is the latest in a series of novels by S. M. Stirling about a post cataclysmic world.

Desperately Seeking Susan

On a whim recently, I had dinner at a delightful local restaurant, the "Black-Eyed Susan", but nobody there had a black eye and nobody knew the whereabouts of Susan.

They Just Call Me "Lazarus" (Part of a Note to an LDS Friend)

...
...
Over the years, I've wondered and wondered about why my life has been preserved so many times.
In addition to past health issues, which should have ended my life at several points in my life (each time I was restored to good health), there have been many other near death experiences.
These include several attempts on my life, one of which I believe was a mafia contract in Indiana that later was retracted.
At the tender age of fourteen in Hagerstown, Maryland, I witnessed my first violent death, a gruesome immolation (fire) suicide by a neighbor.
I also was almost killed a number of times in car accidents, but walked away from every one without hardly a scratch.
Then there also was the time I was in the midst of ghetto racial violence in a Southern city, but, unbeknownst to me at the time, several gang members miraculously interceded to protect me.
In 1996, my home was destroyed by fire, and so on and so forth.
The list goes on and on, and I continue to wonder why my life has been so blessed and protected, especially when so many other, much more righteous people, have their lives end in such pain and suffering.
Of course, I realize that it is not how long we live or even what happens to us in this life that is important.
It is how we deal with and grow from adversity that is the measure of our eternal progression and happiness.
Still, why have I been healed and so protected from so much adversity throughout my life?
In my 1969 Patriarchal Blessing, I was told and promised many (conditional) things, among which was that my "Guardian Angel has charge over (me)", and that "He has watched over (me)..., removed many barriers from (my) way, stumbling blocks from (my) path, and preserved (my) life for a purpose...".
As the years go by, I begin now to see part, but not all, of that purpose, although I can't help but wonder about the rest of my story and how this chapter will end.

A Lesson from a Frog

Two little frogs were on their merry way to the big frog hoe-down.
While they were traveling along the rutted road, they slipped and fell into one of those deep ruts.
After exerting all of his strength, the bigger of the two frogs was able to jump out of the rut, but, try as he might, the smaller frog just wasn't strong enough to escape.
Finally, the little frog told his friend to go to the hoe-down without him...and he did.
However, hours later, his froggy friend was amazed to see the very tired little frog walk into the frog dance hall.
"How did you manage to get out of that rut?", he asked.
The little frog simply replied: "A truck came along. I had to!".
And so it goes for each of us........

Powerful Tears

Earlier today, during our LDS Church Sacrament (worship) services, Sister Kethley shared some incredible counsel as well as her personal testimony, strengthened by her own trials and tribulations.
She apologized for her tears, but those tears were brought forth by the palpable presence of the Holy Ghost.
We all felt it, and we were grateful to share our tears with hers.
Many years ago, Vice President Hubert Humphrey frequently observed that, "A man without tears is a man without heart.".
His political philosophy was and is not mine, but he surely knew about having heart.

Personal Postscript (11/4/08): Sister Kethley's comments about all the times her family has been forced to move, prompted me to realize, for the first time, that I moved eleven times during the ten years that I lived in Indiana.

Popcorn Stuffed Turkey Recipe

This is quick and easy and so delicious: a Turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing, imagine that.

BAKED STUFFED TURKEY
6-7 lb Turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT)
Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Brush Turkey well with melted butter salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.

Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.

Listen for the popping sounds.

When the Turkey's backside blows the oven door open and the Turkey flies across the room, it's done.

And you thought I couldn't cook.

Tonto & the Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they gotten their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look toward sky. What you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you, Tonto?"
Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you more dumb than buffalo poop. Someone has stolen tent."

More on "Warring Thoughts"

In my LDS (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) faith, as I understand it, we are required to be obedient to secular political powers, and cannot use our church membership as an excuse to opt out of military service as "conscientious objectors".
Further, the LDS Church does not make any political candidate or political party endorsements, and we do not allow our churches to be used for political purposes, not even to be political polling places.
Nevertheless, we do strongly encourage all LDS members to be anxiously engaged in the civic and poetical activities of their choice. (Former Republican Governor Mitt Romney is LDS, but so is the U.S. Democrat Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid)
And so it is, when a nation goes to war, the individual soldiers are not held responsible by us for the orders they are given to go to war, although individual decisions which go beyond legitimate orders are very much subject to personal accountability (such as the attrocities committed in Vietnam and elsewhere by individuals).
Those who declare war are ultimately held accountable by the arbiter of all, Our Father in Heaven.
In the instance of the individual choice of abortion, we are taught that this is acceptable only in the case of rape, incest, and extreme danger to the health of the Mother.
However, even then, such decisions are not taken lightly, and these mothers always are encouraged to make this decision with much pondering and personal prayer.
Of course, in the instance of rape and incest, these are special circumstances, because the pregnancy did not result from the free will of the victim.
However, many still have opted to bear the child anyway, either opting to raise the child or place the child in adoption with a another family.
Even in the case of a child who is pre-diagnosed to be born with disabilities, we do not countenance abortion.
We also believe that Jesus Christ is the actual and literal head of our Faith, and that our Prophet is an actual Prophet of God, just as the prophets in the Old Testament of the Bible.
We believe that LDS Church doctrine is not a product of man's ruminations, but truly results from direct and continuing scriptural revelation from God, through His Living Prophet, who has been called by God.
We also believe that each individual has a divinely mandated responsibility to continue to call upon God in personal and heartfelt prayer, in order that they may better understand their relationship with Him and seek His counsel regarding what is personally best for them.
And so it goes with "Man's Search for Happiness".

Warring Thoughts

Just recently, a leader of my faith, Elder Russell M. Nelson (an Apostle of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), directed my thoughts to further reflection about the tragedy of the effects of two kinds of war.
Wars between nations and terrorism cause much anguish from the loss of many lives and loved ones.
World Wars I & II alone cost of lives of 30 million members of the armed forces (not counting civilian deaths).
The World War on the defenseless and the voiceless results in 40 million abortions each year.

At the Food Lion

Yesterday, at the Food Lion, it made me feel really honored and esteemed when the doors automatically opened for me...
but then someone told me that supermarket doors do that for everybody.

Sent to Darla Glessner

"Faith to Stop a Flood" in the "LATTER-DAY SAINT VOICES" of the October, 2008 issue of the Ensign reminded me of you.
You were very young and the heavy snowfall had persuaded your Mom to forego the Emerick family trip from Glencoe, PA to Cumberland, MD for midweek Primary.
You told her that if would be ok if she had faith.
You were right, and that experience of you and your Mom helped me, a recent convert, grow my own testimony.

This Bugged Me

According to the exterminator, widening and rebuilding my driveway drove a nest of carpenter ants into the subflooring of my house.
The bug problem now has been fixed.
I'm also relieved to be reassured that I don't have cooties.
(Like those nasty girls that I was warned about when I was just a sprat)
;)

So That Others Also Might Lead

Maryland Classified Employees Association (MCEA) Western Maryland Regional Governor Larry D. Kump has resigned his MCEA office with his best wishes for and support of MCEA's ongoing fight for workplace justice and personal liberty.
He reluctantly accepted the office of MCEA Area Governor in November of 2007, in an unanimous draft from his MCEA chapter president peers.
However, at that time and thereafter, he has frequently reminded his MCEA friends and coworkers that he only would serve as an MCEA Area Governor on an interim basis.
Then, on June 1st of 2008, he unexpectedly and suddenly took an early retirement from the Maryland prison system.
Mr. Kump believes that service as MCEA non-retiree officers should be deferred to MCEA members who remain actively working in public employment.
After involvement and service with MCEA and other independent public employee unions since 1972, this public service protagonist is proud and pleased to have been allowed and blessed to serve in MCEA's quest for workplace liberty and job justice.
MCEA Area Governor Kump now steps aside, so that others also may serve and lead.
Raised in Hagerstown, MD and a former resident of both Frostburg and Cumberland, MD, Mr. Kump is a graduate of Hagerstown Community College and Frostburg State University. Previously, he also was a guest lecturer on public employee labor relations at Indiana University.
The proud father of David and Sarah now resides in Falling Waters, WV, where he is active in community affairs and serves as a High Priest in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Non-Prophet

Ask almost any member of the LDS Church, and you'll be told that members of other churches belong to Non-Prophet organizations.

At the Movies

Having just finished watching the movie "Rocky & Bullwinkle" on my DVR, I just wish that I also was a graduate of Wossamatter U.
Or am I?

Long Ago and Far Away....

The following is an excerpt from a letter to a friend, who asked me about my children and my job (Originally posted 9/1/04):

Mothers amaze me, particularly single mothers, who truly are unsung heroes.
I just don't know how they do what they do.
My ex-wife left me in 1979, then chose in 1981 to take our children , David (7) and Sarah (4),and move back to our previous hometown area in Western Maryland (and then Southern Pennsylvania), while I remained in Indiana.
Although devastated by the separation from my children, fighting what then was diagnosed as terminal lymphatic cancer (my later, more recent experience with cancer was not a reoccurance, but a different kind of cancer), I was unable to relocate closer to my children until 1989, when I moved back to the Western Maryland/Eastern Panhandle of West Virginia area.
However, in the interim, I was given liberal visiting rights, holidays, and every Summer with my children.
Even my own family told me that a man just couldn't handle two small children on his own, not even just for the Summers.
It was really difficult, but it also was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, and it put me in awe of those women who do it year round.
David and Sarah are adults now, and I am so grateful for and to them.
Now, I've been living alone for a long time and more set in my reclusive ways than I'd like, but I remember.
I remember.
You also asked about my job.
My background, skills, and preference are in public employment labor relations, but I accepted my current prison position on January 2nd, 1991, just to come in out of the rain. The background behind that is another story for another time.
I'm a Correctional Case Management Specialist, which is not a counselor, social worker, or psychologist.
I am not an inmate advocate.
Perhaps it's more akin to a criminologist in some ways.
My education and background is not in this field, but it did prepare me in the assessment, human dynamics, research, training, public forum speaking, and organization aspects of my current job.
I have a constantly changing caseload of over 200 male inmates (murderers, child abusers, rapists, etc.), and my office is in the bowels of the prison within a housing unit, involving lots and lots of one-on-one unarmed contact and interviews with inmates.
The job can be a soul-sucking experience, but it also provides many opportunities for personal growth and development, which also can be spiritual.
When an inmate is admitted to our prison and my caseload, one of my duties is to research their entire criminal history as well as the circumstances of their instant offense, and to determine if there are any outstanding military, federal, state, or local warrants, detainers, parole violations, or probation violations outstanding anywhere in the United States or our territories.
That involves lots of work with law enforcement and judicial systems all across the country, and can be extremely time consuming and frustrating.
I also make assessments for inmate programming eligibility, parole recommendations, and also their security levels (work release, home detention, higher or lower security, etc) as well as testify in court.
Part of my job also involves preparing paperwork and the authorization for their final release, involving lots of documentation, registration, and notification to various law enforcement and probation agencies throughout the country, especially for the sex offenders.
There's much more, but that's enough to give you a general idea of what I do.

So Cool!

At the LDS Temple in D.C. today, it gave me great pleasure to encounter a young husband and wife who were celebrating their fifth wedding anniversary with a day of service at the Temple.
That is so cool!

Bob Griffith

Last Sunday, Bob Griffith came to our LDS Ward (a local conregation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) for the first time.
Previously he had rented a house, and therein discovered a dusty copy of a Book of Mormon..
He read it cover to cover, and wanted to know more.
And so, he took it upon himself to look up and visit our local Ward.
Tonight, he is meeting with our LDS missionaries.
For your free copy of the Book of Mormon, call 1-888-537-2200 or visit www.mormon.org.

August 10th, 2008 Postscript: Bob has set a baptism date in September.

More Wisdom from Pogo

Pogo, the Walt Kelly cartoon character, once observed that, "We have met the enemy and he is us!".
While others have told me that Walt was not the original author of this pearl of wisdom, it nevertheless rings so true in so much of what all of us do and who we are.
Earlier this week, as my heart was touched in sympathy for several friends whose choices and situations have created terrible lifestyle traps for themselves, the realization came anew to me that all of us do this to ourselves with disheartening frequency.
As I deal with prison inmates in my current work assignment, I often remind them that their unhappiness and frustration will continue, as a consequence of their choices, until they come up with a thoughtful framework of their own moral code and also make a determined
and persistent effort to live by it.
And so it is for all of us.
The fear of trying to move out of our own current "comfort" zones is a formidable and ongoing obstacle.
The risk of making new choices that we believe could lead to increasing our pain, embarrassment, and adding to our failures far too often keeps us mired in the same old behavior and choices.
For me, it was my conversion to the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ and the principle of Repentance that gave me an Eternal roadmap that gives me strength to keep picking myself up as I continue to stumble through life.
It also has taught me that happiness and peace of mind always follows right choices, regardless of the immediate consequences (and the opinions of others).
We all make mistakes.
We all make bad choices.
We all are reluctant to risk making changes.
Fortunately, Repentance is a life-long and eternal process, and we only fail when we stop trying.

Letter to the Editor of the "Ensign" Magazine

The July, 2008 issue of the "Ensign" article, "Cancer, Nutrition, & the Word of Wisdom", was a good read with good counsel, but I wish it had included more complete information about the bad effects of coffee and tea.
The article's sole focus on caffeine as the noxious part of those drinks could reinforce some members' belief that simply drinking decaffeinated coffee and tea is in accordance with the Lord's revealed counsel and admonitions.
In point of fact, coffee and tea include a host of harmful substances, including tannic acid, which is used commercially to tan leather.
It's important to emphasize that the Lord tells us not to use coffee and tea, period.

My Inner Child...

...thinks you're a big poopy face.

Seen This Morning on the Wall of my Dentist's Office

"Be careful who you marry.
Your relationship with your spouse will be responsible for 90% of both the happiness and misery you experience in life."

Personal Postscript: How hard you work on being a loving and supportive spouse no doubt also has a lot to do with the above

To Pam Coyle, Berkeley County, WV Library Director

Pam,
Thank you so much for offering to dedicate a new Berkeley County library book to my recently deceased Dad, Willis "Woody" Kump (4/12/27-5/12/08).
In response to your inquiry to which type of book he would appreciate, he really enjoyed mystery novels, so my Mom and I suggest one of the new Nora Roberts novels.
Thanks again, ever so much.
I can see Dad grinning in appreciation.
Larry

To the MCEA Executive Director

David,
Thank you so much for the supreme compliment you gave to me last night, just prior to the Board of Directors' meeting of the Maryland Classified Employees Association (MCEA), in suggesting to me that I relocate to Maryland and be a candidate for election to the Legislature.
That suggestion, especially coming from you, means much to me.
Furthermore, I am pleased and proud to pass along your expression of esteem and support to my friends and grateful family.
My 6th Great Grand Uncle and Personal Hero, Patrick Henry, no doubt also is smiling in appreciation from the other side of the veil.
Nevertheless, I heartily agree with him that public (or any office) is a weighty personal burden and responsibility.
And so it is that I prefer to continue to do what I can as a volunteer citizen on behalf of workplace justice and individual liberty in other ways and forums.
Larry

cc: Friends & Family

A Wonderful & Unexpected Compliment

Aha, what I want to know is when are you going to follow your true calling and run for office.
You were born to be a leader, Larry D. Kump, and we both know it.
I promise to give as generously as I can and I would certainly work on your campaign :-)
Victoria
"Those who deny liberty to others, deserve it not for themselves." Abraham Lincoln

For 6/18/07 Task Force Meeting to Study MD Prison Violence

An Executive Summary of Suggested Ideas & Factors for Task Force Deliberations
- Larry D. Kump, Maryland Classified Employees Association (MCEA)

* Providing Safe & Secure Environment for both Inmates & Staff. (Also, see June 8th, 2008 suggestions from Ward Clem; May, 2007 memos about off duty incidents; and June, 2008 email about treatment of employees)
* Require "Secure Confinement" wards at all hospitals providing services to inmates. (Murder of Officer Jeffrey Wroten)
*Line staff ratio to inmates.
*Lack of additional staffing for increased prison treatment programming (For Example: Roxbury Correctional Institution has been without an Addictions Counselor for many years - there only is a contractual monitor for AA & NA inmate self-help groups)
* More performance based job accountability & protection for Division of Correction (DOC) "Employees-at-Will" (Wardens, et al), including "Whistle-Blower" protections (HB 766, 2007 Regular Session) and "Bill of Rights" for all DOC employees.
* Impose "K.I.S.S." (Keep It Simple, Seriously) standards on all policies and directives.
* Counterproductivity of current ban of tobacco products (Distraction from dangerous contraband issues)
* Counterproductivity of current policy requiring inmate uniforms. (Makes it more difficult to identify inmate troublemakers during prison group activities)
* Security problems from current policy of allowing inmate "physical contact" visits at higher security levels. (Increased contraband problems)
* DOC "Outsourcing". (DOC accountability/hands-on expertise vs. Contractor profits/understanding)
* Employee Safety/Morale/Support Issues.(Including "Made in Egypt" yellow uniform shirts w/out pockets, Employee Personal Privacy Restrictions-DCD#110-33), Internal Investigation practices, etc.)
* "Jet Blue" Better Model of Employee Relations (Source information: "Blues Clues", Spring/Summer 2004 issue of "Best Life", page 57.)
* Statistics from Central Payroll Bureau on Prison Employee Union Membership.(see "Pie Chart" graphics from Central Payroll Bureau on statewide union membership)
* Staffing Levels, Salaries, and Causes of Employee Turnover Rates. ($3,000? recruitment bonus given to Social Workers vs. $500? recruitment bonus given to Correctional Officers)
* Need for employees' statutory right to grieve any workplace justice issue, with a "Binding Arbitration" last step option. (Cost of Arbitration split between employer and employee or employee organization - cheaper than court appeals)
* Need to continue to Expand "Home Detention" Program.
* Parole System & Procedures and DOC/Parole Conflicts.
*"Double Jeopardy" of inmate violation possibilities of both "mandatory release" (release on earned time credits) and probation. Consider elimination of "mandatory release" supervision of inmates, and only use court imposed probation supervision.
* Standardize Inmate Diminution (Time Credits).
* Correctional Officers Retirement System & Participants.

Personal Note: For an eerily parallel perspective of what it's like to work in a prison environment, see the opening scene from the old movie, "Joe & the Volcano" ( starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, and Lloyd Bridges).

To Senator Don Munson on Governor's Appointment

Senator Munson,
Thank you.
I will try my best to be worthy of the appointment and the concerns of my peers.
Larry
-----Original Message-----
From: "Munson, Donald Senator" <Donald.Munson@senate.state.md.us>
Sent: Jun 5, 2008 11:10 AM
To: "Larry D. Kump" <kumpster@mymailstation.com>

Larry,
Congratulations on your appointment to the Maryland Task Force to Study Prison Violence.
You are very deserving of this position and I fully support your appointment. It is people like you that make Washington County and the entire State of Maryland such a wonderful place to live. I wish you much luck and success in all of your future efforts.
Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can be of assistance to you.

Donald F. Munson
Senator, District 2

From MCEA to Governor O'Malley

Dear Governor O'Malley,
The Maryland Classified Employees Association (MCEA) thanks you for the May 27th appointment of MCEA Leader Larry D. Kump to the "Task Force to Study Prison Violence in Maryland".
Mr. Kump continues to serve MCEA and correctional employees as a whole, through this status as Chapter President of the MCEA Public Safety Non-Custody Employees Chapter and a member of the MCEA Board of Directors as Western Maryland Regional (Area IV) Governor. He has, however, recently applied for early retirement from his position as Correctional Case Management Specialist at Roxbury Correctional Institution, after over seventeen years of dedicated service.
We remain, however, confident that Mr. Kump's extensive experience in Maryland prison administration with both correctional employees and inmates, his skill and background in conflict
resolution, and his tireless advocacy for good governance will be a tremendous asset, and MCEA continues to support his appointment to the Task Force.
Yours for goood governance,
Marilyn Miller, MCEA President

Ed Wilson on Appointment by Governor O'Malley

Ed,
Oh,that's how it is supposed to go?
Bummer!
That must be why the Wardens frequently were dragging me into their offices to lecture me?
Larry
--------------------------------------------------------------
Now. Larry -- you do understand that this doesn't mean that you are to CAUSE violence in the prisons, but just to study it, right?
Ed

-----Original Message-----

May 27th, 2008
Dear Mr. Kump,
Having great confidence in your dedication to public service, it is my pleasure to appoint you a member of the (Maryland) Task Force to Study Prison Violence in Maryland....
Sincerely,
Governor Martin O'Malley

From Governor Ehrlich

Larry--
Regarding your recent e-mails concerning your Dad, there is no doubt your pride in his service will long outlive your grief.

The Honorable Robert L. Ehrlich, Jr.

Breaking News from the Beer Industry

Beer brewer researchers now claim that their studies show that "beer makes you smarter!".
Actually, it was a small study of only one guy, named "Bud", but they still insist that beer made Bud wiser.

In Response to Ron Smith & MCEA

Ron,
Thank you so much.
When Dad first learned several years ago that his condition was terminal, I was prompted to pray that his remaining days be eased and that, when he passed, it would be quickly.
Since then, he suffered absolutely no pain whatsoever, and, when he passed, it was in the blink of an eye.
He's busy now and happier than ever before.
Of that, I have no doubt.
...
Larry
--------------------------------------------------------------
Larry, I wanted to give you time to deal with your Dad's passing before I contacted you. I just wanted to say that I am deeply sorry for your loss and send my deepest regards to you and your family. I have included you in my prayers everyday in hopes it will speed the healing, and I want you to know that all staff at MCEA (Maryland Classified Employees Association) Area 4 office have felt your pain. I know that with your deep religious beliefs you will be able to move forward and prevail.
Ron

From a "Grateful Nation"

Since the recent and sudden death of my beloved Father, Willis "Woody" Kump, on Monday, May 12th, it has been a stressful week.
Even so, knowing God's "Plan of Happiness" for all of us, I felt reasonably prepared and fortified to deal with this loss to my family, and especially my Mother, his wife of sixty-one years.
The memorial services yesterday in Greencastle, Pennsylvania went well enough, and, this morning, there was a military interment of his ashes at the Veterans' Cemetery in Indiantown Gap, Pennsylvania.
It was then that a young naval officer, knelt in his dress blues before my grief-stricken Mother, and presented the American flag to her in thanks from a "grateful nation".
That's when my heart almost burst from both pride and grief.

To Donna Dively (about my Dad)

Donna,
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and true doctrine.
All of my immediate family, with the exception of my children, are not members, and this is a terrible and terrifying time for them.
It is a happy irony for me that they have asked me to officiate at the services today and tomorrow on behalf of my Dad.
How blessed we are to have been led to the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Knowing what we know makes everything else in life and the choices we make so clear and straightforward.
Even so, it seems so strange to me to now be our family's Patriarch.
Please pass on my love to all in your family and the members up in your part of the world.
Larry

cc: Darla
--------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Larry,
I am so sad to hear of your Dad's passing. Isn't the gospel wonderful. It is so full of hope and promise. I really don't know how people get through the death of a loved one with out it. It is at a time like this that I feel the veil is very thin and the spirit testifies to us of the life beyond giving us comfort. I look forward to the day when I will be reunited with those I love.

I am thinking about you.
Love Donna

More Reflections On My Dad (Sent to a Friend)

I am ok, and Mom is doing somewhat better than previously..
My brother, sister, and others in our family also are struggling to come to terms with their grief over this temporary loss of our family Patriarch.
It helps that I am officiating at and conducting the memorial service today at 2:00 PM in Greencastle, PA (Bowersox Funeral Home), and again at the burial tomorrow morning at the military ceremony and internment of his ashes at the Military Burial at the Veterans' Cemetery North of Harrisburg., PA.
There will be another obit article this morning in the Hagerstown newspaper (www.herald-mail.com). The one published yesterday had a typo under Dad's photo.
I also made an entry or two at http://kumpster.blogspot.com

I'm the only one in my family with the knowledge and absolute faith in where we came from, why we're here, and what comes next.
More about this is available for you at 1-800-438-7557 or at www.mormon.org.

That makes all the difference for me, because I know where Dad is now, and what he is doing.
He's good hands, and is happy.

My Dad

My Dad, Willis "Woody" Kump, quietly and painlessly passed on this afternoon to the next stage of his eternal journey.
Please include my grieving Mom, Betty Ann Steinbach Kump, in your personal and family prayers.
They were married for 61 years, and she sorely misses him.

An Unexpected Reminder from "Iron Man"

The "Iron Man" movie was a fun adventure flick, but the unexpected love story made it even better.
From the beginning, the leading man and lady had an obvious trusting and symbiotic relationship, but it was not until well into the movie that their unspoken love for each other became more and more obvious.
Children love their parents, and parents love their children, but neither is man whole without the woman nor the woman whole without the man in all things that really matter, both here and hereafter.
We also are taught that eternal truth in the sacred Temples of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

From Megan Gelsinger, My 11 Year Old Friend

Dear Goofy,
Wow! I didn't know you went to Wayside school. That's awsome. Louis Sachar is my favorite author, and ya know I actually believe you and the cootie problem (ha ha ha ha). Well, I will tell you one thing after you get done Sideway stories from Wayside school. The next book is Wayside school is falling down, and then the last one I think is Wayside school gets a little stranger. Well type back and one question was Wayside school in Hagerstown 30 stories high?

Sincerely,
You know who - Megan Gelsinger!

-------------- Original message --------------

From: Larry D. Kump
Sent: Wednesday, April 30, 2008
To: Megan Gelsinger

Megan,
Thank you so much for "Sideways Stories from Wayside School".
It means a lot to me that you thought of me and took the time and
effort to give me that present, and also to write the inscription to me on its inside cover.
After I finish reading it, I will put it on my display shelf, where I
keep my special treasures in my home office.
Did you know that I went to first and second grade at Wayside School in Hagerstown (on Wayside Street)?
It was torn down many years ago, probably because it was infested with the cooties that I brought to school from home.
Your friend,
Goofy

Feeling Fine and Lookin' Good - a letter to a curious inquirer

(Orginally posted 4/27/04)

After 9 surgeries and the removal of a cancerous left kidney, I returned to work in late January of 2004, and now am continuing my quest for workplace justice, as well as happily harassing all my coworkers with all my goofy stories.

By the way, on my first day back to work, Maryland Governor Ehrlich (a good Republican, of course) called me to see how I was doing, and if he could do anything for me.

The rumor is not true that I asked him to sweep my porch.

Let's see.
Perhaps you also could add that I'm now one of the coolest Super Heroes in the League of Justice.

The happiest man in town is the village idiot, and I'm feeling just fine (and looking good, too!).

LDS Leaders: Called by the Lord

As the brethren rejoiced in General Conference today about the wonderful counsel given by President Monson during the Priesthood Broadcast, I found myself anxiously looking forward to further studying his words in the May issue of the "Ensign".
I remember when I first heard him speak many, many years ago, and how I was not much impressed with whom I considered just a garrulous storyteller.
Since then, however, I have repented of this foolish and misinformed opinion, and now love and revere him as God's Prophet, Seer, & Revelator.
His final conference remarks today were pure "Monson", and so full of Christ's love for all of us.
Among the other General Authorities, Brother Uchtdorff probably is my favorite, although Brother Eyring also really stirs my soul and deeply touches my heart.

Kudos from a Coworker

The following letter from Roy Gilleo to WJEJ Radio in Hagerstown, Maryland for their "April Volunteer Recognition Month" was a wonderful compliment:

Mr. Scally,
On behalf of Mr. Larry D. Kump's close friends and co-workers, please accept my request to include him as an April Volunteer Recognition nominee.
Larry has been a long time proactive union member of The Maryland Classified Employees Association (MCEA), working many hours towards improving employee job justice and prison safety issues within the Maryland Division of Corrections.
MCEA is an independent union representing state employees, whose leaders are state employees who are elected and serve without compensation.
As a Maryland Correctional Case Management Specialist at the Roxbury Correctional Institution located in Hagerstown, Maryland, Larry meets with nearly 200 inmates assigned to his case load to assess their individual programming needs while also volunteering to facilitate Cognitive Behavioral Restructuring Programs.
Larry currently serves as the President of the MCEA Public Safety Non-Custody Employees Local Chapter without compensation. This tireless advocate of workplace justice and liberty also serves in the unpaid positions of MCEA Western Maryland Area Governor and member of the Statewide Board of Directors of MCEA.
The only true satisfaction that Larry will admit to is receiving "Thanks" for helping fellow state employees fight for fairness and equality.
In closing, I'm certain that Larry would like everyone to know he is, and has always been by his own admission, the proud father of David and Sarah and High Priest within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Sincerely,

Larry's Friend and Co-Worker,
Roy Gilleo

Remembering

Elder Robert C. Oaks, one of the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church), recently reminded me once again of our eternal personal worth and destiny.
He said: "Satan seeks to convince us that we are so bad that even the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ is not sufficient to reach down to our lowly depths and draw us up to our Savior...Satan does not want us to understand our divine potential, but the Lord certainly does...Remembering is a very important principle to help us keep in mind our true identity ...may (we) ever remember who we are: sons and daughters of a loving Father...".
Source: "Ensign" magazine, April 2008 issue, "Your Divine Heritage", pages 46-50". Full text of article available at http://ensign.lds.org.

To all my Family, Friends, Associates, & More

Wopila Tanka!!
("Many Thanks" in Lakota)

Encouraging Words from MCEA Legal Counsel

Note: The Maryland Classified Employees Association (MCEA) is an independent public employee association representing Maryland state and local employees on workplace justice and freedom issues.
-----Original Message-----
From: Steve Awalt
Sent: Mar 21, 2008 9:17 AM
To: kumpster@mymailstation.com
Subject: MCEA Board of Directors' Meeting

Larry:
Keep up the good work at the Board of Directors' meetings--you were really on point for the important issues....
Stephen B. Awalt, Esq.
Kearney, Drechsler & Awalt LLC

"Please tell my Mother!"

(Originally posted on 3/18/06)

Something especially wonderful happened to me this morning at the Washington, D. C. Temple (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)
There was a small multi-racial/ethnic group of us performing vicarious marriages and family sealings for others, some of whom had waited for over 200 years for this Priesthood blessing.
Sister Salazar was pregnant with her next child, and she and her husband were at the altar, when the realization came into my mind that her forthcoming baby's spirit also was there with us.
This child was so very grateful to and proud of soon being "Born under the Covenant"(due date is August, 2006) to this humble sister and brother.
The prompting grew stronger, and, as the sacred work progressed, I continued to bask in this realization.
Finally, and with more than a little impatience, a small voice pleaded, "Please tell my Mother!".
And so I did.

More on "A Cautionary Query"

The well put response by Stephen Schaefer, was one of many reactions to my previous "A Cautionary Query" email and posting.
That "Who'll watch the watchmen?" email was sent, in batched format, to all on my email list; including media, elected & appointed government officials in multiple States, MCEA public employee union leaders, prison and state employee coworkers, family, LDS Church members, friends & neighbors, college alumni, and many others.
Each recipient who responded to me reacted to this email from a different and personal perspective, some believing that it was intended solely for them or their organization.

A Cautionary Query

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
(Who'll watch the watchmen?)

Going to the Temple

Recently, at the beginning of a previously forecast of a thirty-six hour snow and ice storm, I worried about being able to attend an early Saturday morning session at the Washington D. C. Temple (of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), especially since it had been three weeks since my last trip to the Temple, and I needed the spiritual strength that Temple participation provides patrons.
I knew that the road conditions would be terrible, because I had just returned, in the wee hours of the morning, to my West Virginia home, from a trip to Baltimore, and the road conditions already had become extremely treacherous.
Also, a job promotional test previously had been scheduled for the same morning as my planned trip to the Temple, and it was my only opportunity to qualify to be on the promotional eligibility list.
I had prayed about what to do, finally deciding that going to the Temple was much more important than any job promotional test.
Almost immediately thereafter, I received word that the inclement weather forecast had persuaded my agency to postpone the promotional examination until a later date.
I continued to pray, asking for travel protection, as I would be making the several hour round trip to the Temple on dangerous snow and ice covered roads.
Then, after getting up at 4:00 AM to prepare for my travel to the Temple, it amazed me to discover that the roads all were bare and that the ice and snow storm simply had faded away and dissipated, to the perplexity of the weather prognosticators.
Arriving safely at the Temple, it was my intention to go directly to do endowments, but a prompting instead led me to go and do family sealings.
During the sealings of children to parents for time and all eternity, I was further pleased and surprised to be helping children, born as long ago as the 1600's, to parents who bore the same unusual surname as one of our Church Stake (Regional) Leaders, but who had been submitted by a distant relative unknown to him.
Faith does indeed precede miracles.

Bar Stool Economics

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all
ten comes to $100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
So, that's what they decided to do.
The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.
"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20."
Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.
But what about the other six men - the paying customers?
How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33.
But, if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.
So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before, and the first four continued to drink for free.
But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
"I only got a dollar out of the $20,"declared the sixth man.
He pointed to the tenth man, " but he got $10!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a
dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I did!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man:Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison: "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him.
But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important: They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works.
The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction.
Tax them too much, or attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.
In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

From the Movie: "The Ghost & Mrs. Muir"

You can be so much more alone with others than when you are by yourself, even if you're with those you love.

Shared with Me by a Friend

A group of university graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old professor, now retired.
During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives.
Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups -porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves.
When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said, "Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones.
While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that also is the source of your problems and stress.
The cup from which you're drinking adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate.
In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what you drank.
What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup; but you consciously went for the best cups...and then you began eyeing each other's cups.
Now consider this: Life is the hot chocolate; your job, money and position in society are the cups.
They are just tools to hold and contain life.
The cup you have does not define, nor change the quality of life you have.
Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate God has provided us.
God makes the hot chocolate, we choose the cups.
The happiest people don't have the best of everything.
They just make the best of everything that they have."

...and goodnight, Mrs. Callabash, wherever you are (and do not go gentle into that good night).
Worlds without end.
Sans peur et sans reproche.
Larry D. Kump

Personal Reflections

Earlier this week, when I learned of the death of Gordon B. Hinckley, the beloved and aged President, Prophet, Seer, and Revelator of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church); I was moved to tears, but comforted ever so much that these were and are tears of joy on his behalf.
He now is reunited with his wife and the love of his life.
They are rejoicing as they move forward together in their eternal progression.
As these thoughts about him and my own family continued to stir my heart this week, I was reminded of the atoning sacrifice of Our Savior, Jesus Christ.
He continues to reach out his hand in love to all of us, and literally leads the LDS Church through our living prophets, seers, and revelators.
Earlier this morning, while reading "Words of Hope and Consolation at the Time of Death" (Chapter 14, Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith), reminders came anew to me of all of Brother Joseph's trials and tribulations throughout his life.
How they blessed and strengthened him, as the first modern prophet in this dispensation of the fullness of times!
Brother Eugene Spencer is a friend in Cumberland, Maryland, and struggling now with cancer.
He also has been in my thoughts and prayers, as I remember my own multiple struggles with the same affliction.
And then there's my own wonderful Dad, Willis "Woody" Kump, who now is on "Home Hospice", as he nears the end of his journey here with us.
It really is true, you know: death only makes our loved ones "absent for a moment" and "we shall soon meet again".

Sent to LDS Curriculum Development (as requested)

Brethren,
Words cannot begin to express my gratitude to you and Our Father in Heaven for "Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith".
My previous presumption was that I was well informed about the history and teachings of Joseph Smith, but I was in great error.
After only having studied the first few pages of this supernal Priesthood/Relief Society manual, the wealth of information therein gleaned truly has been a marvelous work and a wonder to me.
Years ago, I wrote to you in gratitude about the current and improved format of Priesthood/Relief Society manuals, that is so much more "user-friendly" and inviting to read and ponder than previous instructional books.
Under this current format, each year's new manual is eagerly awaited and devoured by me, but this year's (and next year's) Joseph Smith manual is the best one ever.
The only suggestion I have is that the brethren and sisters be repeatedly reminded to not neglect the manual's introduction, with particular emphasis to "Do not set this book aside or prepare lessons from other materials. Dedicate a significant portion of the lesson to reading Joseph Smith's teachings in this book and discussing their meaning and application.".
Moreover, since "each chapter contains more than you will be able to teach (or learn) in one lesson", I also would suggest that the brethren and sisters be frequently reminded of their personal responsibiities of reading and studying each chapter in its entirity, as well as using it as an ongoing discussion and teaching aide with their families, including during Family Home Evenings.
Thank you.

Larry D. Kump, High Priest
Antietam Ward (In Hagerstown, MD)
Martinsburg, WV Stake

The Origin of the Names of Me & my Children

While doing my morning Scripture study today, I was reminded that my daughter Sarah's name is Hebrew for "Princess", and "Sarai" (the original name of "Sarah") means "Contention". Sarah's middle name (Elizabeth) means "Consecrated to God".
My son David's name means "Beloved" and his middle name (Christopher) means "Bearer of Christ".
As for me, my name Larry is a derivative from the Latin "Laurence" and means "Victorious", and my middle name "Douglas" is from Scotland and means "Out of the Dark Waters".