True Stuff that I Made Up

PLEASE NOTE: The entries which are published at this site are solely my personal and sometimes whimsical musings. For information regarding my political positions and proposals, please visit

Further, this website is devoutly dedicated to all of my friends and associates, both early and late, who have mentored and influenced me. However, being who they are, the majority of them have been late most of the time.

  Also, check out my personal entry at

Sunday, January 25, 2009

How Our Government Works...

A rancher named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California, when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie; leans out the window and asks the rancher, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not"'
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
He then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and then turns to the rancher and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's the right number, so you can take one of my herd", says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with much amusement as the young man stuffs the protesting animal into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?".
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
'You're an executive employee of the Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct", says the bureaucrat, "but how did you guess that?".
"No guessing required", answered Bud.
"You showed up here, even though nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew and to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are, and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog!"

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Advice from a Teddy

There is not one among us in whom a devil does not dwell.
At some time, on some point, that devil masters each of us.
It is not having been in the dark house, but having left it that counts.
- Theodore Roosevelt

Paying It Forward-a Letter to a Friend

Just now, while reading President Uchtdorf's testimony of Joseph Smith in the February, 2009 issue of the "Liahona", I again was reminded of those who so lovingly nutured me in my early faith.
Tonight, I have the supernal privilege of accompanying Patriarch Jack Huff and home teaching the family of Eddy Mueller.
Eddy is the brother of Richard Mueller, and Richard Mueller's family (in Paw Paw, West Virginia) was one of several wonderful local LDS families who immediately took me in, so many years ago and almost as one of their own, and helped a confused and often arrogant young man to learn Gospel principles in action.
It also is my understanding that Eddy is the one who brought the Restored Gospel to Richard & Jane Mueller.


Thursday, January 08, 2009

Again, from Heinlein

"The biscuits and the syrup never come out even."

- Robert Heinlein

(I hate it when that happens)

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Sisyphus & Us

A "The Lockhorns" cartoon caption perhaps best described the frustration of Maryland's Division of Correction (DOC) employees, when the Lockhorn's frustrated marriage counselor confessed: "Now I know how Sisyphus must have felt."


Beware "the frowns of bigots and the calumny of hypocrites".

- Oliver Cowdery, October 1834

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Lessons from a Stick

The lamentations of so many of us, both individually and even on the larger world arena, often only is a reflection of the consequences of our individual and collective choices.
Mormon, a Pre-Columbian American Prophet, in 345 AD, has warned us that oft-times "...sorrowing was not unto repentance, because of the goodness of God; but it was rather the sorrowing of the damned, because the Lord would not always suffer them to take happiness in sin. And they did not come unto Jesus with broken hearts and contrite spirits...". (Book of Mormon, Mormon, Chapter 2, Verses 13-14)
Another American Prophet, Alma, in 73 B.C., went on to remind us to "let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down into repentance...Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do let the justice of God, and his mercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in humility." (Book of Mormon, Alma, Chapter 42, Verses 29-30)
And so it is that some consequences of our choices are immediate and others are much less so, but nonetheless just as sure.
As a friend and mentor recently put it to me in another way, "When you pick up a stick, the other end always follows.".
For a free copy of the Book of Mormon, call 1-888-537-2200.

Monday, January 05, 2009

So There!

Everything I write is fully substantiated by my own opinion.

A Letter to My Children on Upcoming Events

Sunday, January 4th, 2009

Dear David & Sarah,
The WBAL (Baltimore) radio show interview with former Maryland Governor Ehrlich (done via telephone from my home) went extremely well last Saturday morning, and (bless their hearts) they even promised to send me an audio cassette tape copy of the show.(For an executive summary of the thrust of my remarks, visit and scroll down to the "Furloughs, Pickpockets, and Retirees" entry.)
At 8:00 AM, Monday, January 5th, 2009, I have an appointment with my Primary Care Doctor to get a referral for further cancer surgery, which will be within the next month or so.
On Tuesday evening, January 6th, I have a dinner meeting at the Hagerstown area Beaver Creek Country Club with Maryland House of Delegates Minority Leader Christopher Shank and former Maryland Governor Ehrlich.
Then on Friday, January 9th, I have an 11:00 AM luncheon meeting with the MCEA Union Public Safety Non-Custody Employees Chapter in Hagerstown, MD at the El Paso restaurant on the Dual Highway.
Of course my activity within my local congregation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) continues unabated. We are preparing for the imminent opening of our new "Stake Center" (new regional worship and meeting house), which only is a few scant miles from my home in Falling Waters, WV (in Spring Mills, WV). The target opening date is around the end of February, 2009. It will include a "Family History Center" (Genealogy Research Center) which will be free of charge and open to the general public.
And so it goes.....



Sunday, January 04, 2009

Just So You Know

There is a technical, literary descriptor for those who mistake and transpose their own opinions and assumptions for those of another.
That word is "moron".

Saturday, January 03, 2009

About love...

I've never fallen in love ... but I stepped in it once.

About Governor Ehrlich's Radio Show

Governor Ehrlich,
Thank you for both the privilege and pleasure of participating with you, Kendall, and David Boschert today on your radio show this morning.
Please also thank Greg Massoni for agreeing to get me an audiotape copy of the show, so I can dub it and share it with my out of state family and friends.
Yours for better governance,

Friday, January 02, 2009

An Important Insight...

I realize that I live in my own little world, but it's ok.
Thay know me here.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

My Pearl of Great Price

Although converted to the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ at age 14 or 15 (from my cynical agnosticism and repudiation of my family's religious affiliation), my parents adamantly denied me permission to be baptized or even attend LDS Church services.
Thereafter, I drifted away from what I knew was right for many years, but never forgot.
I never forgot.
Finally, on February 22nd, 1969, as a 21 year old Frostburg College Junior and after much agonizing pondering and prayer, I at long last was baptized as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).
My parents and family were not pleased, not even a little bit.
In the almost forty years since then, my hopes and dreams have been crushed many times, but I also have been blessed far beyond my
personal expectations or worthiness, more than words can tell.
Although much of my life has been difficult and sometimes even lonely, my LDS Church membership remains far more precious to me than any thing or even person.
My faith has taught me where I come from, why I'm here, and what lies ahead for all of us on the other side of the veil.
And so it goes...